Crib Notes
by feedthecat
Summary: Norma Bates is a new teacher at White Pine Bay High. She spends the next year entangled in a web of truth and lies at the school, where she discovers Zack's horrific secret, Rebecca's underground affair, and Alex's ties to it all. High school AU.
1. Back to Basics

**AN: Hi! It's been a while. Here's the beginning of a Normero fanfic I have been working on for a little bit, with all the same characters, in a high school AU. How** ** _predictable -_** **except not really. I promise it will get more complex/interesting in due time. I know Norma's maiden name isn't Bates, and Sam isn't in the story so it really shouldn't be, but for now let's pretend it is. Enjoy.**

* * *

Prologue

Norma was still a girl when she had left all those years ago. She had walked right out of her school gates when the last bell of the year rang through the building. She marched on, her high school transcript in her backpack which was swung over her shoulder. She marched southbound to the end of the street determinedly, and she could hear someone calling her name from a distance – maybe it was that girl from her Chemistry class, maybe she had wanted Norma to sign her yearbook – but Norma pretended not to hear her, and to her relief, she was not pursued.

When Norma had reached the fork in the road, this time, instead of turning left like she had done for as long as she could remember, she made a right. It had taken her a lot of courage to take the first step, but when she had done so, the next few became easier, and the next ones easier still. Moments later, she had steadied her pace, and she kept walking, walking, walking, past the post office, past Patty's diner, past Mr. Johnson's house – he was mowing his lawn and he waved at her excitedly as she walked past. She remembered she had waved back, even though her hand was shaking. He didn't notice. She walked westbound for what seemed like forty minutes, and she stopped momentarily to retrieve her water bottle from her backpack before carrying on.

It was a shabby old thing, this blue plastic bottle she had been using for forever. She was sure there was some scientific research against using one bottle for years. Whatever it was, her parents would never know, and even if they did, they would not care. Because her family had never been able to afford any nice things. Growing up, Norma had always been aware they were always short of money. Anytime the welfare cheque came in, they were to spend it on necessities and necessities only - that was the phrase drilled into her head. The rest of the money went to their father, who squandered it and spent it on cigarettes and cheap booze. Sometimes he would come home shouting at the room and the furniture in it, drunk and angry about his life, and Norma remembered those moments. She couldn't forget them if she tried.

They were always the same, the way her father stormed in through the front door, which always slammed shut behind him in a loud, harsh bang. And they had always made her feel the same way, the same frustration, fear, and hopelessness pent up that engulfed her entire being slowly as the years passed. She remembered the protocol then – her brother Caleb and her must always sit side by side inside her closet, careful not to make a sound until they were absolutely sure their father had gone to sleep on the couch. Those moments were always spent enshrouded in the darkness, the two of them keenly aware of the sound of their own shallow breaths. She hated the darkness. Always had, always will. But she knew she had to hide, because it was better than crossing her father's path. Her being in his eye-line would trigger him to espouse abuse towards her, and she hated that more than anything.

Norma had used to think that having her brother by her side made things more bearable. At a young age, she had begun to believe that Caleb was her soulmate, because he had always seemed to notice when she was upset, and then he would manage to make her feel better. She had stopped caring for her classmates' gel pens and new planner books. She didn't think much of their crisply ironed clothes, and she didn't care that her own socks had holes in them where they should not be. In the place of envy for all the things she couldn't buy for herself, Caleb's protectiveness and care for her had caused her to adopt a carefree attitude towards material possessions. Norma knew that what she had with her brother – their deep connection and friendship – was better than any printed skirt and designer wallet her classmates used to tout around.

But all of that was before Caleb had betrayed her. Norma had to remind herself that whatever had happened had happened, and she would never forgive him for it. That was who she was. She felt things too deeply, too intensely, and her emotions often seemed to overwhelm her. But she knew she had a good reason this time. Being betrayed by a good friend was one thing. In fact, she had it happen to her before – she simply cried for a day. And then she moved on with prompt resolution. But being betrayed by a soulmate was another. It caused a bruising in her heart so severe she knew she could never recover from.

When the betrayal had started – that was when Norma knew she had to get away from it all. The abusive father. The disloyal brother. The broken image of her own mother who was never present. All of this was a cruel twist of fate that had bestowed upon her, and even though she didn't know much then, she knew she deserved better. She had seen her friends' parents pick them after school, and she had seen them in the audience in school plays and football games. There was a kindness and warmth that her family lacked, that she yearned for desperately from the outside world.

She had started saving money in secret then, offering to babysit for and tutor anyone she could. She scooped ice-cream at the mall on weekends and wiped down diner tables in the evenings. Sometimes she skipped the classes she didn't think she needed – gym, drama, art – to wash a few more cars and mow a few more lawns. It was all about earning an extra buck, and the best thing was that whatever she earned, it was _her_ money. It was her own money, and she didn't have to share it anybody. Not her father, who was always too drunk to notice she had been out all afternoon again, and not Caleb either, who had transformed from caring brother to someone who only went to her when he needed her.

Norma didn't make that much in the end, about seven hundred dollars over the course of the few months of working odd jobs, which she kept in a box with a lock stashed in the bottom of her backpack that she carried with her every day. She had wanted to get to a thousand dollars before even considering leaving, when the summer holidays were quickly approaching and she knew she couldn't wait any longer. She couldn't spend the months cooped up in her house, and she couldn't stand the thought of being under the same roof as her family for hours on end. It was time for her to pack up and leave Ohio for good, whether she was ready or not. She was going to walk free, even if it meant she had to walk alone.

That was exactly what she did, and she had not looked back, not even once.

* * *

Looking up at the building, Norma Louise let out a shudder in her modest blue dress. She didn't know how she had ended up here. In the beginning, she didn't have a plan. She had only been trying to run away, and she didn't care what kind of life she would end up making for herself.

It was weird sensation, to find that her life was actually picking up and going somewhere. It took a lot of hard work and discipline, but ten years later, she had emerged victorious. She was far away from her family, and she felt secure in knowing that they would not bother looking for her. Not now, anyway, when so much time had passed.

She had those fears in the beginning when she was drifting, catching one night bus after another. She often woke up sweating, clutching her backpack to her chest in fear of it being snatched away, wondering when her father or Caleb would show up knocking on the door of a motel room she was staying in to send her home.

Those fears elapsed slightly when she settled into her first job as a housekeeper for a wealthy family in Washington. She was getting paid a decent amount, and she had a room to stay in. For the first time in her life, she had health insurance and her own bathroom. She worked there for three years, saving money and learning the ropes of adulthood, before quitting to go to community college so she could make something of her life. Directionless, she took a lot of courses then, ranging from Psychology to Economics to Politics. It took some time for her to find her footing, to find what she truly enjoyed, which she realised in the middle of her Literature class.

Norma liked that people didn't care that you were alone on graduation day when you went to community college. Back in high school, she had skipped graduation and prom because she didn't see the point of attending either.

There was a bespectacled boy who had asked her to go to prom with him. She had forgotten his name, but she didn't forget his face. He was tall and lanky, with a head of brown hair and a sprinkle of freckles, and she thought he was cute in a nerdy way. But she said no, because she would never have been able to afford a dress or a ticket. And he would have insisted on picking her up at her house. She couldn't have had that; she didn't want anyone knowing where or how she lived. She also figured that at graduation, she would have been surrounded by her classmates and their families, and the thought of being the only student who was there all by herself gnawed at her until she ripped up all three of the invitation slips.

The present day Norma had become accustomed to independence, and she was as self-sufficient as any twenty-eight-year-old woman could be, with her own apartment and a car. The latter was now parallel-parked on the side of the street across her. It was not anything fancy – it was a Mercedes from the 60s in light teal, the kind of vintage car that looked like it ought to have been put in a museum instead of being let outside to roam the streets.

But she liked it. She liked its robust frame and leather seats. The car was a bit shabby overall, which made it a little cheaper than the other modern cars that had been lined up nearby on display, which she also liked. She thought it gave her character. Not everybody in town would be driving around in a car like that, and she didn't mind being different.

Standing quite still, at the side of the entrance, Norma watched as teenagers flooded in through the tall white gates in clusters. She wondered which ones would end up in her class.

She hadn't intended on becoming a teacher at first. She had wanted to be a journalist at a major publication because she liked the challenge of what the position would entail. She liked the thought of writing, reporting. It seemed important and professional, something she had never been. And even though there was always talk around her of community college not being 'real college', she was only slightly ashamed of her education. Sure, she had told a couple of people she had gone to the University of Chicago before, when they had asked, but they were not important people anyway.

But she changed tactics when she realised that a career in journalism would result in her name being thrown around on the Internet. It was the very thought that scared her. She didn't know what Caleb had been up to after she had left. What if he managed to find her somehow, because he had spotted her name in the byline of an article or think-piece? She abandoned the idea quickly and decided to get a professional licence in education instead. She would still make a difference being an English teacher. She had wanted to make a splash, but she was content with making ripples too.

This was her first time as a high school teacher. She had taught elementary school for two years, before realising that she was not very good with young children after all, especially when they came in batches. She had good intentions, and she would never hurt any of them. But she also never seemed to be too patient with them, and with twenty children running around all day, she had ended up resigning from her post after one too many incidents of spilled paint all over her dress.

Norma had no idea what to expect, if she was being really honest. She knew teenagers could be snarky and downright nasty, but she thought she could really talk to them and bond with them. That was what mattered to her – communication. Elementary school kids were too young to have a proper conversation with. She was a cautious person, but she always knew when she met a like-minded person, and she enjoyed being intellectually stimulated.

She knew she was paranoid for even thinking about all of this when classes had not even begun, but she was really hoping to stay out of trouble at White Pine Bay High School.

In the midst of all the little heads bobbing around the entrance, Norma spotted a blonde with her hair tied up in a ponytail walking into school. The girl was whispering excitedly to her friends next to her as she showed them something on her phone. One of them said something and it rendered the group in peals of laughter.

Norma saw herself in the unsuspecting girl. She had an air of innocence about her, and Norma thought that could have been herself ten years ago, on a sunny September day. But she wouldn't have had a phone, she thought. Or many friends either, actually. So maybe that girl was not like her at all.

She was lost in her own thoughts when she heard a voice call out from behind her.

"Hi."

She turned around, startled, nearly dropping the tote bag she had been carrying on her shoulder. She saw an attractive man standing there with neatly combed hair and pale blue eyes. He couldn't have looked any older than twenty-five. Or, hell, she thought, maybe he was a student. Kids were eating all kinds of weird stuff now, stuff that spiked hormonal changes, weren't they? She wasn't sure. But then again, she noticed now as she looked at him, he was wearing a pastel purple dress shirt and corduroy trousers. And while she might not know all that much about teenager fashion, she knew enough to know that those were not it.

"Hi," she responded, a little uncertain. She adjusted her tote bag and gave him a weak smile.

"You should probably go in, or you're going to be late," said the man.

Norma discovered his voice was a little deeper than she had initially heard from his greeting, and could see now from his composure that he was friendly and meant no harm. She cleared her throat and laughed a little.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right."

The man picked up his pace to walk alongside her, and they walked towards the front gates together. She noticed he was carrying a thick binder that was tucked under his arm, with various slips of post-its sticking out from the top of random pages. So he was a teacher, she thought, and a novice at that, she assumed from his age.

"So," he said, walking slightly quicker than she was, for which she was grateful. She had no idea where she was going, or where she needed to be, and she was happy to tag along until she could figure everything out. "You're new around here?" He looked at her and flashed a smile, and she nodded, following him down a corridor.

"Yeah. I'm Norma Bates, by the way," she said, extending a hand for him to shake. He grabbed it with confidence with his free hand and shook it. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," the man said cheerfully, and then he paused midway through his thought. He looked a little flustered, and he said, "I meant that it's nice to meet you too. Not the part where my name's Norma Bates."

Norma chuckled. They began to climb up a flight of stairs and she was hit with an influx of students. She tried hard not to lose him in the wave by keeping an eye on his purple shirt.

"What? Your name's not Norma Bates too?" she feigned disappointment, catching up with him as he turned a corridor. It was suddenly much quieter, and she realised they were almost at the staffroom. He shook his head. "Oh, bummer," said Norma.

"A bummer indeed. My name's Zack Shelby," he said. "I teach Physics."

They had arrived at the staffroom, and he taught her to tap her ID card to unlock the door to get inside. He told her the sensor also had a way of recording _when_ she showed up to work, so she must always make sure to tap it against the reader, even if someone in front of her was already holding the door open for her. She thanked him and they slid inside. When the door closed behind them, it sealed the room shut and she could no longer hear the sound of the students frolicking outside, which she found incredibly helpful and slightly magical.

"And what do you teach?" asked Zack. They were now hovering around his desk, trying to slip in a little more conversation before she had to find hers to sit down at.

"Well, I'm-" Norma began, but he raised up a hand playfully.

"No! Wait. Let me guess."

She shrugged and shot him a knowing smile. "If you can."

"Art?"

"No." She was never going near another paint set in a school setting.

"Math."

"Hm," she said. She was beginning to enjoy this. It felt good that she was less than twenty minutes into her first day and already having a laugh with someone she had just met. It was a good omen, she thought. It had to be. Today was going to be great. She needn't have worried at all.

"No?"

"No," she confirmed. "I was good at it, and I enjoyed it. But I just don't know how I could ever teach it! It's a whole different thing."

"Fair enough," he said. "Philosophy?"

"Tried growing a beard, but it didn't work, so no. Did not choose that career path."

He laughed, and she could see that there was a boyish charm about his features.

"I think," he said hopefully, "you're an English teacher. You have to be. I can see it in you. Your dress, your blonde hair, your bright blue eyes…"

The sincerity in Zack's eyes made her smile. "Bingo," she said. He smiled back at her.

"Well, I think that's fantastic."

"Me too. I do love stories. You know, you think about these great adventures these characters are going on…"

Norma was in a good mood as she chatted on. She leaned gently against the partition between Zack and the other person's desk, but she was careful to keep her centre on the balls of her feet. She noticed Zack was still holding his binder, even though, she thought, he must have been about to set it down onto his desk five minutes ago.

"So how come I've never seen you around town?" he asked. His words came out smooth like honey, and for once, she didn't react coldly, as she always did when she thought people were prying.

That was the way with Zack Shelby, and he knew it. He knew he had the power to charm people, and he did not use that power sparingly. He wasn't going to let such a gift go to waste, was he? Besides, it had always brought him a good time. And he was having a good time right now, getting to know Norma Bates, the new English teacher.

"Well, that's because I'm not from around here," said Norma. She saw the slightly confused look on his face and elaborated. "I saw an ad for an English teacher six months ago, and I decided to give it a shot. And then they called me to tell me I got the job, and I quickly packed all my things and moved here."

"Where from?"

"Jamestown? You know where that is? It's a little up north."

"Oh, yeah," he said knowingly. "My dad moved there five years ago. He says he prefers to live inland, rather than live so close to the sea. Says he gets sea-sick just looking out of his window sometimes."

Norma laughed. "Well, that's a perfectly valid reason to move."

"Is it? He's a funny old man," he said, and he had a smile on his face. He paused to let the moment pass, and struck up a new conversation topic. "Hey, since you're new, I just want to let you know how things operate here, cause I had my fair share of blunders last year. Social faux pas. So most of the teachers hang out with each other. But of course you have people from the same department being closer to each other. But everyone's nice, so if you don't know what to do, you can just ask anyone. Except that balding guy called Paul Wilson. He teaches Biology, and he's always cranky. No one even knows why."

"Avoid Biology teacher, always cranky" repeated Norma. "Got it." She had a laidback smile on her face, which she couldn't help from talking to this man who was so intent on helping her out on her first day.

"And also, if you can, you shouldn't use the pink mug in the cupboard, because that's Ms. Holloway's, and she gets really fussy about someone salivating all over her ceramics."

"That's one way to put it."

"Oh, believe me, there's-"

The door flung open before Zack had a chance to finish what he was saying, and the both of them turned to look at the person at the entrance. He was a tall, solemn man, with his hair trimmed short, almost military-style, and she saw that he didn't look pleased at all.

"Shelby, how many times have I _told_ you-" the man began, but paused to study Norma as though she was an intruder. Then he focused on Zack. "How many times," he said again, and she could tell he was slightly distracted by her presence, "have I told you that you need to be at morning assembly as much as the rest of the world does?"

"Truth to be told, I've lost count," said Zack without a hint of sarcasm. He shrugged and set his binder down onto his desk before turning towards a confused Norma. "This is Alex Romero. Alex, this is Norma." He gestured at her, and turned to her again. "Romero's the tough guy around here. But he's really a softie, you'll see. And I feel like it may be worth mentioning that he's got an extensive knowledge of the Romanovs, if that gets you going."

"I'm a History teacher for God sake," said Alex.

"How's Rebecca?"

"It's none of your business."

"I'm just trying to be caring," said Zack, cracking a smile. Norma turned to Alex, who was standing a few feet from them with his arms crossed.

"If you want to know, you can ask her yourself," said Alex. "Now you two had better go. Hop along."

Zack shrugged nonchalantly. He sashayed his way to the door and Norma followed behind, taking a closer look at Alex as she walked past him. He did look tough, with his dark hair and brooding eyes, on top of an ever-frowning face. She didn't know why, but it was in that instant that she knew despite his appearances, he was not as he seemed. He was just guarded, and a little too closed off for his own good. So in a way, he was a little bit like her. She wondered what might get him talking.

"That's it," said Alex, ushering them out of the room, not taking so much of a second glance at either of them before exiting. "You'd better get there in two minutes," he said to Zack. He nodded at Norma as if to say that whatever he was saying to him applied to her too, and he hurried down the hallway.

"Well, that was Romero for you," said Zack, as soon as Alex was out of earshot. He led her down another corridor, this one lined with lockers. It was quieter now that the whole school was at morning assembly in the hall, and she could hear the sound of their footsteps across the hardwood floor.

"Is he always like this?" she asked.

"Yeah. But it's not a bad thing," he added quickly. "He's not a nice guy, but he's a good guy."

"I see."

They made their way to a large set of double doors, wooden, and Norma held her breath. She had always been slightly neurotic, but she was not normally nervous like this. She knew there were almost two hundred students on the other side of the wall, and that made her a little anxious. She could hear the sound of someone giving a speech on the microphone. Probably the principal telling everyone he was hoping to have another good year at White Pine Bay High, that kind of stuff.

"Are they going to make me introduce myself?" she asked, stopping short in front of the entrance. Zack looked surprised, with his hand already on the door, ready to push it open. He halted.

"Well, yeah. We all have to, because there are always new kids coming in." He saw the worried look on her face and gave her a little nudge at the elbow. "But it's going to be okay, you'll see."

Norma nodded. There was nothing she could do anyway, she thought, other than to trust him. He smiled and pushed open the door that led to the back of the hall, and the two of them slid in discretely. To Norma's relief, no one noticed. No one except Alex, who seemed to have a particularly sharp eye for anything out of the usual. It didn't surprise her. He appeared as though he was always on the lookout for something or someone. Now, he looked over from the end of the bleachers to give Zack a disapproving glance. His eyes moved onto Norma and they made eye contact, but he didn't look away, so she did. His gaze lingered on her for a while as though he was contemplating, before he looked away again.

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 **Sorry this was so long! I hope you enjoyed it. I'm not going to keep up this word count in the next chapters for obvious reasons like I may die. Please do leave a review if you like. :-)**


	2. First Week

**AN: I love a good slow burn.**

* * *

Norma was in a rush to head back to the staff room after first period. She had not yet had her morning caffeine fix, and she could feel that her body and mind had not fully woken up because of that. She was going to make herself a nice cup of coffee and spend her next hour trying to get to know the layout of the school better by walking around aimlessly. It would be a nice way to spend some time alone too.

It had only been a couple of hours, but she felt a little overwhelmed. She knew White Pine Bay High wasn't a big school; that was why she had picked it. But there were still always people around her, making a lot of noise as they went about their daily lives. The sound of students in the hallways, teachers leaning over cubicles to have a chat, school bells ringing shrilly, the beeping of ID cards swiped across scanners, the slamming of locker doors. She just wanted some downtime to recharge before her next class.

She slipped past the crowded hallway in the five-minute break between lessons that the students had, and she noticed most of them were not really focused on getting their books. They stood by their opened lockers and chatted to each other as though they were on lunch break. She scanned the crowd for her students from first period, but didn't seem to find any, so she just kept her head down for the rest of the trip to watch where she was going, stepping over loose shoelaces and skateboards.

When she had reached the staff room, she was walking so quickly that she hadn't notice a man exiting.

"Sorry!" they cried out at the same time. She looked up to see that it was Alex. Quiet, mysterious Alex. They paused for a moment before realising it was each other, and he gave her a weak smile, which she returned.

"You okay?" he asked. He sounded genuinely concerned, as though he had hurt her. He hadn't. "I'm sorry," he repeated. His smile vanished, and he was back to his resting face, which was beginning to look more and more solemn to her, but she could tell he was making an effort.

"No, it's okay. I'm fine."

Norma knew he wasn't a chatty person, and she was expecting the conversation to end. They would nod and say goodbye. She held a tighter grip on her binder and was about to move away when he cleared his throat as though he had something else to say to her. She looked at him expectantly.

"So how was your first class?" he asked.

This question caught her off-guard. She shrugged.

"Pretty good," she said. "The kids liked me. I think. But who knows?" she mused. Just thinking about it made her hopeful again, and that put her in a good mood. She felt her shoulders relax, and the grip on her binder loosen.

"Oh, good. I'm glad," he said nonchalantly. "I mean, they're good kids. Bit of a drug problem, but you know teenagers. They just want to feel more grown-up than they actually are, and they start thinking they're cool for doing a smidgeon of weed."

Norma could tell Alex was getting comfortable with her because he was beginning to open up, however slightly. She didn't think he would speak five consecutive sentences to Zack. But it was as though a switch had snapped and Alex had sensed that he had talked too much, because he clammed up right there and then. This left Norma to keep the conversation going, but she wasn't annoyed.

"The drug thing?" she asked. "That's a problem, though. We're not just going to let them get away with it, right?" She was concerned. "I mean, they're kids. They shouldn't be doing that. They have to know there are consequences."

"Well, it's hard, because we can't call the cops on them," said Alex thoughtfully. His dark brows were furrowed. "That'd taint their record. They're just getting a little high sometimes. It's not like they're being destructive. It's harmless fun."

"I know that, but even then it's not right."

"No, it isn't," he said. She could feel a bit of tension in the air between them, coming from the way she had just talked back to him. She didn't think it was wrong of her to do that, but who knew what he thought? "By the way, I'm not defending them, in case you thought..." he added, and she nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, no! I didn't think-" she said quickly, and laughed nervously. "I didn't think that you were." The static cleared, and she saw him smile. Just a tiny bit, a little upward curl of the lip. But she had a sharp eye; she knew she had seen it.

"Yeah. I wasn't."

They stood there for a moment, and she felt that this conversation was getting a bit too long for him. She didn't think he had really wanted to speak to her. Maybe he had just felt a bit sorry for her, the way she wandered up and down the corridors like a lost lamb. She thought she might help him out by ending the conversation first, so he didn't have to suggest it. She pointed to the textbook he was holding.

"You've got a class to go to?"

He looked at the book as though he had forgotten about it, and then nodded.

"Oh, right. Yes," he said. "I'd better get going. Listen, I'm glad you had a nice day. First period on the first day is always hard. About the drug thing... forget I said anything, alright? And definitely don't call the cops on them. It's not really the way things work around here." He paused, as if to let his words sink in. "Alright. I guess I'll see you around."

He nodded quickly and left in a hurry before Norma had a chance to say anything. She watched him go, and wondered if Zack was right about Alex after all. That he looked tough, but really was a big softie on the inside. She knew he had good intentions, from the way he had tried to strike up a conversation with her to make sure she was okay, and from the way he cared enough about his students to want them to have a future. She could see that being true.

* * *

Norma was new in town, and she hadn't made any friends yet.

She had taken Zack's advice and attempted to befriend the English department, and though they were all nice enough, none of them really seemed interested in having her in their circle. So she stuck to Zack mostly, and he seemed happy enough to have her around. She didn't ask where his friends were. It didn't take long for her to figure that he was the kind of person sociable enough to flit around different friend groups.

But still, the fact that she couldn't charm the English department bothered her. Mostly because she was so used to being able to chat up anyone. She had done that in her early twenties, and that was how she had managed to get as many opportunities as she had. Any other person, and they would have ended up being a waitress at some waffle house down by a park-and-ride. Which wasn't a problem in itself, but Norma Bates was not about to spend her life doing that. She was going to climb upwards, until she never had to worry about paying rent or another bill ever again.

"They just seemed quite protective of their own," Norma said to Zack over lunch. She was having some soup and a salad, and they had managed to find a quiet spot in the corner of the staff lounge. He told her it might be because of their book club.

"Book club?"

Norma stabbed a piece of iceberg lettuce with her plastic fork and dipped it in dressing.

"They spend six to eight weeks on each book," explained Zack. "I think they're still reading the same book they got their hands on last month."

"Last month?"

"They like to meet up during the summer. That's how close they are," said Zack apologetically, as though he was to blame for the English department's tight knit.

"What has that got to do with me?" asked Norma. She frowned a little, out of a lack of understanding.

"Well," he said in between bites, "they probably just feel awkward introducing someone new into the group, when they're on chapter sixty of some random novel. It'd be hard for you to play catch up."

What Zack said was slightly odd, she thought, but it made sense. Maybe she should just try again in two weeks or three, when they had finished their book. Maybe then she could join the book club and start a new book with them.

Zack thought it was a good idea, and so did Norma. She was going to start making some friends now, even if it meant abiding by their weird traditions and unconventional social cues. Truth to be told, she didn't _need_ friends. She just wanted them. She wanted company. She knew she had always been independent, but sometimes when you had been alone for such a long time, you didn't want to be alone anymore. That was it in her case. And it'd be good for her, too, to have somewhere else she could spend time at. She was starting to feel a little antsy, cooped up in her apartment all day in the past week while she was waiting for school to start.

She took up Zack's advice and vowed to try again soon.

* * *

The rest of the week went by fairly quickly, and Norma mostly forgot about the English department. She still saw them a lot; she _was_ a part of them after all, even if they weren't close. Sitting in their cluster of cubicles, it was hard not to feel a little envious of their friendships as they whispered gossip to each other and knew exactly what the next person wanted for lunch, or how many sugars they liked in their coffees.

But Norma wasn't completely alone either, and she rediscovered how lovely it was to have a schedule to stick to.

She hated not having anything to do and not knowing what day of the week it was. Going to work gave her a sense of purpose; she felt like she was changing the world for the better one day at a time, like she was slowly but steadily getting further away from her past. Soon, she thought, she wouldn't be able to remember any of it. She looked forward to that day.

Norma saw Zack around a lot, too, and he always seemed to be glad to help her out. On Tuesday, he brought her to the supplies shelf to show her where to get staples for her stapler if she should run out. On Wednesday, Alex had stuck his head around the corner of her desk and asked if she had wanted to get some lunch with him. She told him she was going with Zack but he could come along, and Alex declined, leaving the two of them alone again. Zack taught her that she could spare a couple of cents by ordering an Americano in the cafeteria and adding sugar and coffee creamer by herself, which was free of charge in the corner of the staff lounge. Thursday was especially lovely - it had just begun to rain right after the last bell rang. Unlike Norma, Zack had not brought an umbrella with him, and she got to repay his kindness by walking him to his car.

She was a little nervous about it. She had always been somewhat neurotic in her work life, and she was no different in her personal life. She didn't want anybody seeing them walking towards the same car and getting the wrong impression. That was the way things were churned out in the rumour mill. Thankfully, no one did.

Norma thought Zack was always in a cheerful mood, which she liked. He just had a positive energy about him. He talked to everybody in the office, including Alex, who always tried to bat him away whenever he opened his mouth to speak. This made Norma laugh, but then she would feel bad for laughing even though Alex didn't mind.

* * *

On Friday, Norma went down to Level 4 after school to collect her permanent parking permit from one of the administrative staff. She had been issued a temporary sheet in the mail last week before school had started, but it was flimsy and beginning to fall apart. And she realised she might have to pick up the laminated card after all.

She rang the bell at reception and waited for someone to come, but nobody did. She didn't know what to do. She was certain the staff was still there; Zack had told her they usually left about an hour after the last bell rang.

She thought about sitting down on the tiny sofa and waiting. She wasn't in a rush to go anywhere, and she figured whoever was in charge of the administrative work had to come back soon. She could hear the sound of teenagers chatting just down the corridor, along with locker doors being slammed shut every ten seconds or so. She thought the kids must be dying to get home after an eventful first week.

Norma had barely sat down when she saw an attractive young woman stroll into the office. She was tall and slender, and had on a modest black dress with a lace trimming at the shoulders. With high heels on, she looked to be about at least 5"10'. Her red lipstick complimented her red hair which was slightly dishevelled, and when she looked over at Norma, Norma instantly thought she looked like a drab housewife.

The young woman was combing through her hair with her fingers but stopped short when she saw Norma, and cocked her head sideways. "Hi, can I help you?" she asked. She didn't smile, but Norma could tell she was not threatening.

"Oh, yes." Norma got up and straightened her dress quickly, patting it down. "I'm here to collect my parking permit."

"Oh, right. Why don't you follow me?"

Norma nodded and obliged. They walked past a few cubicles before arriving at what she thought was the woman's desk. Norma didn't say anything, just watched as she sifted through a couple of binders.

"Sorry for the wait. Friday afternoons are usually pretty empty, so I just stepped out for a while."

"That's fine."

Norma watched patiently as she removed a rubber band that had been holding together a bunch of white envelopes. She could see labels on each of them, and she thought her parking permit must be in there somewhere.

"Your name?" the woman asked without looking up.

"Bates. Norma Bates."

The redhead paused and looked up curiously. She smiled, and there was a spark in her eyes that had not been there just now.

" _The_ Norma Bates?"

"Uh, I'm not sure-" Norma began.

"I'm Rebecca," she said.

"Rebecca…?"

"Hamilton. But that's…" she waved a free hand in the air. "That's not important. You shouldn't know who I am anyway. I just do the admin work around here."

"No, I'm sure that's a very important job," said Norma. She wasn't sure which direction this conversation was taking off in, and she didn't know if she should ask. She was just here to pick up her parking permit, and then she was going to go home and run herself a nice bath to wash the week off her skin.

"It's whatever," she said. "I'm glad I'm finally meeting you."

"What?"

"Yes, I am, really."

Norma eyed the bunch of envelopes she was holding in one hand. Now she was really hoping Rebecca would hurry along. She didn't like not knowing what was going on.

"You're _the_ Norma Bates Zack has been telling me about," said Rebecca finally.

"You know him?" As soon as the question had left her mouth, Norma realised how stupid she must have sounded. Of course people knew Zack. She was the only new teacher here. She was the only person who didn't know anyone.

"Yeah, sure. When he came last year I was the one showing him the ropes."

"Oh." Norma frowned, trying to piece it together. "So you've been here…"

"Two years."

"Oh, okay. I'm… sorry, I'm just a bit lost here." Norma laughed nervously. "What does that have to do with me, specifically?"

Rebecca blinked, and Norma wondered if she had been a bit too blunt. Maybe she should have put it in a politer manner. She was about to apologise when Rebecca let out a laugh.

"Zack can't stop talking about you to me!" said Rebecca. "So I was curious to take a look for myself." She turned to Norma and glanced up and down. "I can see why he's into you. You're very pretty." Rebecca stepped closer to peer at Norma's face, and Norma shifted uncomfortably. "I love your eyes - they're a very bright blue."

Was Rebecca mad at her? Norma couldn't tell. Normally, she would be more confrontational. She knew she would have been, if she was still at her old job. But it was best to stay out of trouble, Norma thought. She had been here for a week. She didn't know anything about the politics of the school. She didn't want to spend the rest of her year with a chip on her shoulder over some misunderstood grievance.

"I'm really sorry," said Norma, shifting tactics. She backed off slightly. "If you and Zack are… _involved_ in any way, I didn't know. I mean, you two are very attractive people, and I thought he was-"

"Oh no." Rebecca's eyes widened. "Zack and I are involved, but not romantically. We're just very good friends." She laughed. "I meant to tell you that he likes _you_ , Norma. He does. A _lot_ , if you catch my drift."

"Oh. That's… that's great." Norma didn't know how to respond.

"It is," said Rebecca, without missing a beat. She looked as though she just remembered something, and her eyes lit up again. "Actually, there's going to be a party tonight at my place. You're new in town, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I just moved here from Jamestown."

"So I heard," she said.

From Zack, no doubt, thought Norma. She wondered just how close they were, but then realised she didn't care that much. She wasn't sure how she felt about Zack. She thought he was just being nice to her, and knowing there was more to it made her feel funny.

"Well, you should come! Meet some new people. It'll be rewarding."

"I'd love to, but the thing is, I'm not sure I'd be very good at parties," said Norma. "I've been trying to go out more, but I'm always a little..." she wanted to say _wary._ She couldn't quite shake off how terrible her biological family had been, and how that had tainted her impression of humanity for the most part. But she stopped herself. She wasn't about to tell this lady her life story. "...shy," she said. "I'm always just a bit shy."

"It's not really a party," said Rebecca quickly, tapping her hand lightly against Norma's forearm. "Sorry, I need to stop using that word. It's a get-together, that's what I meant. All we do is chat and drink wine. So it's a grown-up thing, not what any of those kids out there are doing."

Norma looked unconvinced, and Rebecca lowered her voice.

"Zack is going, and he would love it if you could."

The mention of Zack garnered a reaction. She hadn't thought much about it at first, but the more Rebecca mentioned it, the more it made Norma want to hide in a hole. She didn't want to come across as desperate, and she really wasn't interested in Zack romantically.

"I really don't think I should go," Norma said. "I have to get up early tomorrow to sort out some things at the bank."

"The bank doesn't open until 11 on Saturdays," said Rebecca swiftly. "You'll be fine! You can leave early if you want. You can leave at any time. There's no pressure."

Norma didn't respond, just nodded.

Rebecca seemed to realise she was supposed to look for the parking permit, and she looked through the pile of envelopes until she found Norma's. She fished it out of the bunch and put the rest away.

"Well, if you do feel like coming later," said Rebecca. She had managed to find a pen somewhere, and she was leaning over her desk now, scribbling furiously on the back of the envelope. She looked up, clicked the pen once, and handed it over to Norma who accepted it. "Here's my address. It starts at seven-thirty in the evening, so pop in any time before the morning, won't you?"

Norma was only semi-confused on her drive home. Did Rebecca just invite her to an all-night party? She didn't know the staff did that. Growing up, she had a very obscure sense of what teachers did. She mostly kept to herself, because she didn't want anybody asking questions about her situation at home. But the way Rebecca looked, the confidence she projected… Norma couldn't help but feel as though she had just been invited to a party at the popular girl's house.

Better yet, Rebecca hadn't been pretentious at all. She seemed sweet, which was a far cry from what Norma had encountered during her own high school years. Maybe Rebecca _was_ just trying to help her out. Norma had to remind herself that genuinely kind people existed in this world. She just hadn't met a lot of them.

So she might pop in, actually. If it sucked, she thought, she would just slip out and go home. She had nothing to lose.


	3. Rebecca's

**AN: (Michael Scott's voice) Sometimes I'll start a story, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.**

* * *

Rebecca's apartment was nothing short of modern and glamourous. Norma had expected this much; Rebecca was seemingly single, and she was indeed an attractive young woman. When Norma commented on the built in speakers, Rebecca laughed an airy laugh, and said she had it specially made a month after she had paid the down payment.

Norma thought it made sense that Rebecca would want to style her house the exact way she wanted. Somehow, it seemed to Norma, that Rebecca was the kind of person to get what she wants. Norma did not resent her for it. She admired Rebecca's gumption; she thought the world could do with more women like Rebecca in it.

Norma stood leaning against an empty wall. After saying hi, Rebecca had walked off to talk to someone else, leaving Norma with a glass of white wine in her hand for company.

Soft jazz was playing in the background. It was Billie Holiday singing slowly, demurely. Norma could recognise the song - _Blue Moon_.

Norma thought she looked decent. She was wearing a conservative navy blue dress with a V-neck with three-quarter length sleeves, and nude pointed heels. And underneath all of that, she had put on some black lingerie that had been tucked in the back of her drawers for the longest time. She wasn't thinking that anything could happen; she simply dressed well because it made her feel good.

She had thought about dressing up, but she didn't want to overdo it, to look like she was trying too hard. And she was glad she hadn't.

Looking around, people seemed to have gone with smart casual rather than overtly fancy. There were a couple of teachers she had seen around before, and some of the administrative staff that she assumed Rebecca worked with. The lights had been dimmed, and there was a soft blue light radiating from one of the overhead lamps.

Norma noticed a rather gloomy-looking Alex standing by the fridge in the open kitchen, and she had to do a double take. She saw why he looked that way - Zack was standing next to him, chatting him up, and Alex was, as usual, not having it.

Norma knew Zack was going to be around; he was too sociable and well-liked to not be. But Alex – that was different. She had not expected him to show up at all. Yet somehow, here he was. It was a pleasant surprise.

Alex glanced sideways, and Norma felt a strange jolt of electricity running through her when their eyes met. She looked away quickly, somewhat desperate to scramble for shelter. She was slightly embarrassed about standing around on her own. It must have looked quite awkward. She tried to duck behind a group of people, but before she could disappear, Zack was looking her way too, and he looked very pleased to see her.

"Norma!" Zack called out, waving a little, and she had no choice but to go over and say hello.

When she walked over, Zack enveloped her in an embrace, which she accepted. She turned towards Alex and he gave her a wave of a hand and a nod of acknowledgement. She returned the nod with a tight-lipped smile. They looked at each other for a moment, and she was about to speak to him when she was interrupted by him making an excuse to head off. He gave her an unexpected pat on the shoulder before walking away, leaving her alone with Zack.

Norma watched as Alex scooted over to talk to Rebecca, before returning her focus on Zack. She shifted on the spot while he told her how glad he was she could make it. He didn't think she would! Really, he didn't think so.

Norma didn't want to hear any more of it. It wasn't his fault. She was just no good at gatherings. She had spent the whole day being charming, and she felt tired at the thought of having to do it all over again. Zack felt a lull between them and he paused.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

Norma looked at him and let out a small exhale. "What? Oh, yes. Why?"

"You look distracted."

"Am not." She smiled vaguely. The smile spurred him, and he raised his enthusiasm by a notch.

"Are too," said Zack, amused.

"Am not," she insisted, monotone.

Zack was still talking when he noticed Norma's empty glass. She had downed her drink ten minutes ago. He asked if she wanted a refill.

"Yes, just a sip, though," she added, pointing towards the bottle of Prosecco. "I'm driving, so really, I shouldn't be having anything at all."

He gave a hearty laugh. "Well, there aren't any cops here," he said. "Plus I could see you've already had a glass."

"Half a glass," she corrected him. "Not enough for me to feel anything at all."

She watched as he filled her glass and she wondered if she should have been blunter when she had said she had only wanted a sip. She had never intended to be even tipsy, because she was not about take the risk of driving while drunk.

"You talked to anyone?"

The sound of his voice cut through her thoughts and she looked up at him. She really needed to stop zoning out. She shook her head and thanked him for refilling her glass. "Didn't really get a chance to."

"I figured."

"You figured?"

"You're just... you know. You seem tense, that's all."

"I didn't think there would be this many people," she confessed, swirling the glass of wine in her hand. She took a small sip and felt it bubble down her throat. "I thought it was a small get-together."

"Rebecca told you that, didn't she? She should have been clearer. Well, this is small for her."

Norma realised she was now cornered in the kitchen, with Zack holding an arm out to lean against the fridge while he faced her. She wasn't used to this level of intimacy. She thought about her conversation with Rebecca, and it made her uncomfortable knowing how he felt about her. But Norma thought that if she was feeling uncomfortable, she wasn't letting it show. She had been trained all her life to keep her emotions inward, and by now, she had gotten very good at it. Sometimes she fooled herself too. But that was only sometimes.

Norma stood there with a dreamy smile plastered on her face the whole time while he talked. He wasn't drunk, not even a little bit, but she could smell the alcohol in his breath and it reminded her of her father. The more Zack leaned in, the more Norma wanted to slink away, but she was trapped between his body and the stove, and she didn't want to cause a scene. So she had no choice but to stay firmly put.

Norma was glad he was not making a move on her.

And he wasn't.

Zack liked Norma a lot. He knew when something was brewing, and he thought this was it. But he was not going to attempt to hit her up at some boozy teacher's party five days after meeting her. He liked getting to know her; he liked the chase. Like most things, this too was a game to him. This was a game he relished in enough for him to want it to last longer. She was reacting so positively to him; he was sure he was not getting the wrong cues from her.

As for Norma, she was bored out of her mind. She liked spending time with him, she really did. But some people were only welcoming in small doses, and Zack was one of them. She was happy to spend time with him during the day, but any more than that, it was enough for her to drive herself off a cliff.

She tried to be optimistic. It wasn't so bad that Zack liked talking about himself this much; at least that was something to keep him occupied while her brain went on sleep mode.

Norma looked over Zack's shoulder again and wondered if she could spot Alex. Her eyes roamed over the clusters of people that filled up the dimly lit space. Some of them were shifting slightly from foot to foot, a little sore after standing around for an hour or two, and each of them was holding a half-empty glass of wine in one hand. Everyone seemed to be having a good time in general.

The glass doors that led to the balcony were open, and she saw Alex talking to someone she didn't know. He was taller than Alex, but that didn't block her view of him. Alex twitched as though he sensed something, and he suddenly looked over the man's shoulder at Norma, who had been watching him.

She could only look away again, embarrassed at being caught. She was just incredibly bored. She didn't want him to think she was being weird. Her gaze darted to the same lamp hanging from the ceiling, and stayed there while she waited for the coast to clear. On closer inspection, she noticed there were little golden flecks on the lampshade. She thought it was neat.

When Norma looked at the same spot minutes later, Alex had gone, and this disappointed her for a reason she couldn't quite explain.

She had seen him twitch as though he had just been bitten by a mosquito. She thought there was something very peculiar about him, the way he acted. Maybe he had slipped out after all when he realised he didn't have a reason to be here in the first place. If he had, she thought she would have liked him to say goodbye first, even though she didn't know why. She was not anybody to him; he wasn't obligated to let her know he was taking off.

Besides, she thought she might have been too creepy with her glances. That might just have chased him away.

Norma laughed a little at the thought, and Zack laughed, too, thinking she was reacting to the joke he had just told.

"Right?" he said.

"Right," she agreed.

She had no idea what he was talking about.

* * *

Norma was glad to leave the gathering at long last. In the end, she told Zack she wasn't feeling too well. He offered to drive her home, which she turned down.

"You shouldn't be driving," he said. "It's not safe."

"Well, you've had quite a lot to drink," she pointed out. "Much more than I did. You shouldn't be driving either." She tried to play her words off as caring so she wouldn't hurt his feelings. She wasn't trying to be smart. She just really wanted to get home.

He frowned a little, trying to come up with an excuse to send her home, but she just patted him on the shoulder and told him she was going to be okay.

"Besides," she said, as she noticed Rebecca walking towards them. "I think someone wants to talk to you."

Zack turned and saw Rebecca, who grinned at him.

"I was just heading out," said Norma, when Rebecca was near. "I don't feel too well."

"Alright," said Rebecca without hesitation, though she looked pained.

Norma knew she would say that. Rebecca was the kind of woman who didn't push, who didn't make you do anything you didn't want to do. She was all business and no hard feelings. She wouldn't be offended you had to leave a party early. She would just let you go.

"I hope you had a good time."

"I did," said Norma. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Nonsense. Thanks for being here. Feel better, won't you?"

"I'll try. Thank you."

"Drive safe," said Zack. "I'll see you on Monday."

He was sorry to see Norma go, but he knew this was not his house; he couldn't ask her to stay. Besides, he _was_ feeling a little tipsy now that the drinks had started to kick in, so she had been right to keep him away from her car keys. Zack watched as Norma slipped on her coat and out the door, and he suddenly felt very, very tired. He realised he wanted to go home now that she had.

* * *

Norma heard the sound of her own heels clicking against the ground as she headed to her car. It wasn't that late. It was just quarter past eleven, and she figured she could still make it to bed by midnight. She had just fished out her keys and she was about to unlock her car when she became aware of the sound of a loud exhale a few feet away. She tucked her keys between her knuckles and walked towards the sound.

Maybe she shouldn't, she thought. That was how women got killed. But, hell. She was curious.

She walked a little closer and peered into the night. She could just make out a silhouette at first, and then the image became clearer. It was Alex. He was sitting on the hood of a car, having a quiet smoke by himself.

The second time tonight, Alex surprised her. Evidently, the night was full of surprises. She didn't mind.

He noticed her looking at him, but he didn't shy away.

"Hi, Norma," said Alex. His voice was a little raspy from the smoke.

She cleared her throat. "Hi. What are you doing out here?"

"Having a smoke."

"I can see that."

"You asked," he said. It was dark, but with the help of a dim street lamp about two metres away, she could just about make out the upturned curve of his amused smile.

Norma rolled her eyes.

"I was trying to make conversation."

There was a pause, before he jumped off the hood of the car in one swift, quiet motion. She stepped back slightly, clutching to her keys. Then she dumped them into her bag. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her. She was just alarmed. She watched as he threw his cigarette on the ground and put it out by grinding it under his shoe.

"Didn't try to make conversation with Zack in there though, did you?" he asked. Norma was about to talk back when he shook his head. "Me neither." She realised then that he considered them to be on the same team. Yet she still feel obligated to defend Zack.

"I like listening to him," she lied through her teeth. He knew she was lying, and she knew that he knew. But she said it anyway.

"I really don't," he said, shrugging. "Anyway, what are you doing out here? You should be inside."

"I got out. Told them I wasn't feeling very well, and they let me go."

"Feigning sickness, I see." He smiled.

"You're making it sound worse than it is."

"So I take it you had a good time?" he asked.

"Best party ever."

He laughed, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Wow," she breathed. "I didn't know you were capable of expressing positive emotion. Or feeling it in the first place."

"Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Thank God."

"You're thanking God? When you're missing out?" he said. She smiled.

She liked this repartee they were having. It was hard to find. People were either too polite or too rude. They were too nice or too mean. He was just fine, and she had missed this challenging dynamic. Talking to Alex like this, she could see them being good friends. They were like two people made of the same fabric.

There was a silence, and she could hear the sound of leaves rustling in the light breeze.

"Well-" they suddenly blurted out at the same time, and he let her speak.

"I'd better go," she said quickly, fidgeting with her handbag. She was digging for her keys again. She heard a metallic rattle and she took them out.

"Oh. Why?"

"It's nearly midnight."

He didn't miss a beat. "Hey, I won't laugh when your car turns into a pumpkin."

She laughed. "Thanks. That's comforting," she said. "I just... it's late. I have to get up early tomorrow, so."

"Okay," he said. "I'll walk you to your car."

She jutted her chin at her car. "It's right here."

"It's two feet away. This is a rough neighbourhood," he said.

"Right," she responded. They walked over and she unlocked her car with a beep. He opened the door for her and she got in before she closed it by herself. She rolled down her window and stuck her head out to look at him. "Thanks for making me feel safe."

"Anytime."

Norma started up her engine and said goodbye to Alex. It was getting later and later, but she had never been more sober and alert. It was as though she had woken up. She spent her drive home and the rest of night with a smile on her face.


	4. Inklings

**AN: Thank you for your kind reviews! I'm really sorry about the delay. I've been travelling around without my laptop, and very often times without any WiFi as well, so I couldn't do anything but scribble on scrap paper on trains.**

 **Here's Chapter 4, extra long because I am terribly sorry!**

* * *

White Pine Bay High was well into its first semester, and everything was finally falling into place. Norma didn't like to let anyone know, but she struggled slightly in the beginning when she was still trying to remember everybody's names. She was still figuring out if she was a good enough teacher then. Now she felt at ease, and time passed quickly like fine sand filtering through the gaps of fingers.

She never did manage to join the English department in their literary endeavours. She was counting down the weeks she would be able to, until she realised one day, as she was talking to Rebecca, that maybe there was no need to squeeze into a group that was not readily accepting of her. Maybe, she thought, she was better off the way she was.

And she wasn't wrong.

She had Zack and Rebecca to talk to, and they were all growing close. She gave in in the end, and gave them her phone number. Sometimes they text, and sometimes Zack gave her a call to ask her how she was doing. It interrupted her quiet nights at home, but she knew he was just trying to be nice, and she didn't have anything against people being nice.

He still hadn't made a move on her.

It wasn't like Norma wanted him to, but she was starting to wonder what was taking him so long. She knew he was still interested in her, and only becoming more and more so. He was having lunch with her and walking her to her car every other day. Sometimes when she was having a rough or busy morning, he would stick a post-it note on her desk with a cheesy quote written on it.

Norma had tried to brush this all off as things friends would do for each other, but it was getting pretty damn hard. She had just wanted Zack to bring this out in the open so she could turn him down officially, removing that lingering possibility in the air. Maybe that meant he would stop being so nice to her, but it was better than feeling like a freeloader every time he offered to pay for her coffee.

Then there was Alex, with whom she enjoyed talking. He seemed to be lightening up these days, but there were still moments when he looked worried and in doubt, for reasons he never explained. She never asked; he was such a private person, she knew he wasn't going to tell her anyway.

The days went by.

Norma didn't want to, but she had favourite students. It was hard not to pick favourites out of the sea of different personalities. She particularly liked those who were laid-back and funny, those who took their work but not themselves seriously.

Maybe it was because they were the opposite of who she was. She was uptight and slightly overbearing. She was an anxious perfectionist. She could hardly understand herself, which was why she tended to favour those who didn't resemble her - she had an easier time figuring them out.

But in the end, the kids all grew on Norma, and she grew on them. They looked forward to English lessons, and even those who were rowdy in their other classes played nice in hers out of respect. They became interested in writing and literature. Girls went to the staff room after class to ask her questions about homework and extra credit. Boys offered to help her carry the piles of books she had to bring back to her desk to mark. There were talks of creating a book club with her.

All the while, Alex was watching, and he couldn't help but be impressed. Norma's relationship with her students was like a well-oiled machine, and she had only been here for a couple of months.

He had a sharp eye for observing people, and in all honesty, he knew there were some lost causes in the school. They were the kids who played hooky most days. On the days they didn't, they would show up late with a soda in their hand and amble in like they owned the place. Alex was fed up with the lot of them, but he couldn't lose his temper because it would risk losing his job, and the latter was entirely out of question. He knew he had to look past his own emotions, to remind himself that he was at White Pine Bay High for something greater than himself, but it was difficult.

He didn't know what Norma was doing to make them to do their homework and not fail each and every test. He thought she had a penchant for teaching, and when he suggested that to her one afternoon, she just shrugged.

"Maybe," she said, not denying it. "But I think you just need to let them know you care."

"I care."

"Then show it. Pay attention. Kids like it when you remember things about them that they told you."

"They don't tell me anything," said Alex bluntly.

He hoped he didn't sound rude, but that was the truth. When was the last time a student ever approached him to talk about their personal life? He didn't remember. Or maybe because it had never happened before, and there was nothing for him to remember.

"Well," was what Norma said, and she let out a quiet exhale. "There you have it."

Alex only nodded before he went back to his desk quietly. But if he was troubled and her insensitive, she hardly noticed anything; she was in too good a mood to.

Then Zack came over to ask her to lunch, and she got her wallet and left with him.

* * *

So the class book club was happening. Norma thought she was destined to be in one after all. She was going through the list of names, suggestions several of the kids had written when she saw Alex walk into the staff room.

"Hey," she called out to him, and he turned around.

When Alex saw Norma sitting at her desk, the sleeves of her pale blue cardigan wrapped around her shoulders, he smiled reflexively. She didn't tease him for smiling; she was somewhat used to it. Someday, she was going to tell him all about how she thought he was so intimidating at first. But for now, she wanted his help.

"Hey," he said. He noticed the troubled look on her face. "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. What do you think we should call the book club?" she asked. He knew what she was talking about. She had brought it up with him last week, and he had told her he was glad for her that things were going so smoothly. "I have a list of suggestions the kids made."

Alex squinted, trying to make out the words from afar. When he couldn't, he gave in and walked over. "I wouldn't call that a list," he said, eyeing the scrawls and scribbles.

"Alex."

"Let's see what they've got."

She held it up and read aloud each one with a sense of pride.

"Girls Gone Wilde," she said, pointing to a scribble in the middle of the page. "Like Oscar Wilde." She looked up at him to see what he thought. He had scrunched his nose slightly, in a mild disapproving manner.

"A bit crass," he said. "And what about the boys in the club?"

Norma crossed that out.

"We've Got A Need, A Need to Read," she said. She pulled a face. "Too long?"

"Too long."

"Grape Expectations."

Alex looked puzzled. "You aren't going to drink wine with the kids, are you?"

"Oh, God, no." So that was out, too. "Here, take a peek." She passed the sheet to Alex, and he scanned it. "Anything good?"

There was a pause, and he looked up. "I like Readers of the Lost Ark."

Norma groaned. "Too long."

They pondered over the names for a couple of minutes, before Norma took the sheet from his hands and put it in a folder. "Maybe I'll just have a think over it tonight."

"Sorry I couldn't help," said Alex apologetically.

"You at least eliminated some names," she said hopefully.

He hovered around her desk for a while, discussing mundane things with her like their schedules for the week. When he was leaving, she stood up to rearrange the pile of exercise books in the corner of her desk, but felt she was only doing it as an excuse to watch him as he returned to his seat. Half-focusing on Alex, Norma reshuffled the books mindlessly and waited until Alex's head disappeared from the waterline of the bunch of cubicles that lined the staffroom.

Then she sat down.

It was easy talking to him now, thought Norma. She liked that she didn't have to pretend to be anyone else when she was with him. With Zack, she thought she had to be more charming than she really was. With Rebecca, she was always trying to be the good time girl. But with Alex's lack of judgement, there was freedom to be herself without feeling a looming sense of shame that she was _too_ something - too hard, too soft, too nice, too rude.

Norma liked that they operated on a 'no-tell' policy every time they had a chat. She didn't know if Alex realised it, but they had never discussed the past with each other. He never asked about hers, and she never asked about his. Somehow, when they were together, they were just two people kicking it in the moment, fighting to live another day. And somehow, it was always good enough.

* * *

The next day, Norma told Alex she had a name.

 _Inklings._

"Doesn't that sound just right?" she beamed.

Alex said he liked it.

"So _Inklings_ it is. By the way," she said. "You're always welcome to join."

"I don't think so," he said, shaking his head. "The kids like you, not me. They want to spend time with you."

"Well, I want to spend time with _you_ ," she said aloud before she had a chance to stop herself.

As soon as the words had left her mouth, Norma felt a hot flash of embarrassment. She hoped Alex didn't think she was being weird again. She didn't know how he did it, the way he tended to make her say the wrong things, or the way his presence always compelled her to say the right things out loud, things she was supposed to keep to herself.

She hoped Alex was going to let it go, and he did. Sort of. Instead of saying anything, he just smiled at her knowingly before he sauntered back to his desk.

* * *

It didn't take long for Norma to experience disappointment in this new place. She wasn't even actively searching for it this time, like she had all those other times. It just showed up out of the blue. It was like opening a door to a long-lost relative. She was caught by surprise for a moment, but then she felt a surge of familiarity wash over her. When she did, she opened the door a little wider, and told her visitor to remember to dry his feet on the doormat, before he stepped inside and trampled all over the place.

In a way, Norma knew it would happen. When things went too well, she tend to hold her breath while she waited for the other shoe to drop. And she never had to wait too long.

She realised Alex had been right about one thing so far – the school _did_ have a drug problem. Or rather, she thought, the students did.

She couldn't quite believe her eyes, how brazen the teenagers were, the way they slipped tiny bags into each other's backpacks and lockers. She thought it was unusual that they would be doing this in broad daylight. She knew she used to have classmates who traded and did drugs. They were discrete. They were taking a risk bringing it to school.

Granted, it was years ago. But there was no way times could have changed _that_ quickly. Here, the students swapped drugs like they were swapping notes. It was as though they hardly cared about getting caught.

Norma thought it might be because they were so used to not getting caught, that they knew by now they would never. It made sense. It was because Alex was always indulging in them, wasn't it? That was the root of the problem. She knew why he did that, from their first conversation that now seemed like it had taken place forever ago, when he had talked about protecting them.

Alex had told her to forget about it, but she couldn't quite shake it off. She knew they were friends, but she still vehemently disagreed with his course of action.

 _What was he protecting_ , she wondered, _allowing the kids to do stuff like this?_ Certainly not their minds. Did he have any idea how detrimental drugs were to the human body, let alone one of a developing teenager?

His nonchalant attitude did not sit right with Norma. If she had no option but to participate in all of this by nature of teaching at White Pine Bay High, it wasn't likely that she was going to be a mere spectator.

* * *

On the Friday afternoon just after the final bell had rung, Norma thought she couldn't stand idly by any longer. On her way back from her last class, she had witnessed a bunch of kids smoking down by the football pitch. She didn't know what they were smoking, but it couldn't have been anything good.

When they saw her - and she know they had, because they had made eye contact - one of them took a long drag and exhaled slowly, all the while holding his gaze towards her. She didn't know who he was. She was going to storm over to tell him to put it out, but she was wearing heels that would get stuck in the muddy field, so she just headed back to the staff room. She felt an acute sense of irritation bubble up inside her.

She dropped her things off at her desk and stuck her head around Alex's cubicle. She saw he had his head down, and he was writing frantically. She wasn't sure what he was doing, but she cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Alex, I need to talk to you."

He looked up so quickly she thought he might get whiplash. She looked down at his desk and saw that he was writing a letter, or something of the sort. Whatever it was, he was reluctant to have it out in the open, because he turned it over in one swift motion and covered it with a folder he pulled out.

"Hello to you too."

He had a bit of a smirk on his face, and she couldn't tell if he was being serious. Well, _she_ was.

"The kids have a drug problem," she blurted out honestly. She didn't beat around the bush and waste either of their time.

Alex's face shifted, and he was no longer smirking.

"Norma, I told you not to worry about that," he said quickly, and he looked slightly offended.

"I know you did. But I can't let them do this," she said. She leaned in. "Do their parents even know?"

"It's complicated."

"It isn't."

He lowered his voice, but the urgency in his tone remained. "It's under control."

"Is it? I just saw some kids down at the field, smoking," said Norma.

"Could just have been cigarettes."

Her eyes grew wide. "How does that make it any better?" she asked. "And, no, they weren't. I knew they weren't, because they had that smug, _smug_ look on their faces that you can't derive from cigarettes."

Alex didn't question her trail of thought, just said, "it _is_ under control." She looked dubious, and he carried on. "There's just... you know. _Factors_." He sighed. He took a different direction. "I hate to say this, especially to you, but you're a teacher, not a guidance counsellor or a cop. So take it easy, right?"

Norma didn't like this side of Alex. He sounded patronising, like he didn't believe in her frustration, like she was making a big deal out of nothing. She knew she wasn't.

"You're not going to talk to me like that," she demanded.

"Like what?" Alex asked, though he knew what she meant. His voice softened. "I'm sorry," he said suddenly, as if he remembered something, and then he looked tired. "I'm not trying to pick a fight."

He couldn't stand to raise his voice at her. He wasn't angry at her for wanting to help. He knew the kind of person she was - hotheaded, unpredictable, and fuelled with a need to pursue justice. But sometimes, he thought, there were bad things in this world you couldn't stop or prevent, that you just had to let happen. And this was one of them. At least for now, he hoped she would drop it.

But she wouldn't.

"This has nothing to do with a fight. What _factors_ were you talking about?" she asked. She needed to know. Her voice was manic, and she was having trouble keeping her volume down.

Norma was about to keep going when Alex stood up unexpectedly, which prompted her to lapse into a pause. Before she could ponder what he was doing, he reached out to take hold of her arm. He wanted to pull her closer so they could talk in private. He knew the teachers who sat around him had gone home for the weekend, but the way things were going, the whole office was going to overhear them. It was what he didn't want.

Alex took hold of her arm briefly, and that was when he saw it - the way she flinched at his touch, the look of fear in her eyes. She jerked her arm away from him reflexively, and in doing so, forcefully knocked her elbow into the edge of the partition between his desk and someone else's. She cried out in pain at the sudden impact, which sounded more like a yelp from a wounded puppy who had just had its tail accidentally stepped on.

He pulled back at her sudden movement too, shocked from what had just happened. He had good reflexes, but they weren't good enough to have stopped this from happening. When she looked at him again, she could feel her cheeks grow hot. He noticed, and he looked embarrassed, sheepish.

He apologised. "I was trying to get you to move in a little," he explained. "I promise I wasn't trying to-"

Norma shook her head, cradling her arm.

"I think..." she said, still recovering from what had just happened, momentarily at a loss for words. She felt embarrassed too, not for him, but at her own overreaction. She didn't think she would still have such a strong reaction to unexpected touch. She thought she had gotten over it, because she had gotten so much better through the years. So she was wrong, and she was sorry she had to find out like this. "I think," she repeated, making sense of her own feelings, "that I'd better go."

She gave him a quick look before her eyes darted away to focus on the carpeted floor. He noticed her bright blue eyes were glazed over, and it tugged at his heart.

Alex didn't know what to do. He hoped she wouldn't walk away. He wanted to apologise again, to make amends. She looked hurt, and she looked as though a switch inside her had been unplugged. She looked up at him again and he could see that the fire inside her eyes that had been burning just a few seconds ago had now been put out.

He extended his arm again, this time gently. He was hoping she would stay, and he was trying to get her to stay, but she pulled back once more just before his fingers could brush against her forearm.

"Norma," he said. He was beginning to become very aware of the space between them. She wasn't listening.

She saw that he looked torn, but she knew she had to leave. "Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm just gonna-" she trailed off and pointed her thumb towards the other end of the staff room, where her desk was.

"Norma," he repeated, and this time it sounded almost like a plea.

"I'm gonna go."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... to injure you."

"You didn't."

"I think I did." He leaned over to open the drawer under his desk and retrieved a handkerchief. "I'm really sorry. Let's go get an ice pack from the freezer, and let me have a look at that, okay?"

Norma shook her head. She was finding it hard to breathe now. "It's fine. You didn't hurt me." She was still cradling her arm, and when she noticed him looking at her bruised elbow, she dropped both arms to her sides and acted like nothing was wrong.

"Come on," he said. "I saw what happened."

"Nothing happened, okay? Forget about it," she snapped brightly, patting her dress down and giving him a weak smile. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

He didn't know why she was acting like that. She wasn't so shy about presenting a problem to him just moments ago, and now she was smiling at him like he had just told her she looked pretty. He had a feeling that was how she had always acted, and her politeness made him feel uneasy.

"Hey, have a good weekend," she said before turning on her heel, not giving him a chance to respond.

Alex watched as she scurried off like a mouse, and he let out a loud exhale. He was just starting to be good friends with Norma, and he wondered why he always seemed to make things worse off than they were with people he liked. He didn't have an answer to that.

He sat down and threw the handkerchief into his drawer before nudging it shut with his leg. He would make it up to her; he knew he had to. Sometime. But for now... he turned over the piece of paper on his desk and carried on with the report he had been working on.

* * *

In the end, Norma talked to Zack about it. She had no one else to speak to. She was going to bring it up in conversation with Rebecca, but Rebecca didn't know the students well enough so that was off the table.

Norma had done it over the phone while she sat at the kitchen table.

Zack called her on Sunday evening to ask her how her lesson plan was getting on, and what she wanted for lunch tomorrow. She said it was going well, and that they were going to have the same old, weren't they? Whatever they served in the cafeteria. She knew he had only called because he had wanted to hear her voice again; she wasn't daft.

Before their conversation ended, Norma asked him about the drug problem. She was tentative at first, but she knew Zack wasn't Alex. Zack was going to be more level-headed about this, and he wasn't go to be emotional and secretive. She phrased it delicately, bringing it up as though it were a casual topic, but when Zack heard of it, he had the same hostile reaction as Alex and told her to drop it.

He told her that it was okay. That it was being taken care of. She said she didn't understand, and he told her it was all under control the same way Alex had.

Tired of being kept in the dark, and knowing she was on her own now that nobody agreed with her in putting an end to the teenagers' rampant drug use, she hung up because she didn't want to discuss it any further. It didn't take much for her to realise there was something going on, and she felt annoyed that people seemed to patronise her to get her to stop talking.

She knew she was going to tackle the issue head-on anyway. Maybe not with the help of Alex, or even Zack's, but she didn't mind. After all, this was not the first time she had to deal with things alone.

* * *

On Monday morning, Norma went to work a little more tired than usual.

She had been up all night, scouring the Internet for a solution or two. She had resolved nothing in the end, and she was beginning to feel the impossibility of the task, but she didn't let it daunt her. She felt, for the first time in a long time, like she finally had something going on in her life. And it was something that didn't involve herself but rather someone else, which felt especially great in knowing.

Norma was still a little uneasy after her first class, like she hadn't tuned into her mind just yet, but she thought it was refreshing. It was nice like this, before she woke up and realised who she was, and how her life had been up to this point. It felt better when she wasn't fully alert.

She got to her desk and sat down, and a bright pink note stuck in the centre of it caught her attention. She looked around, barely taking her cardigan off. Everyone else looked a little tired, too, like they couldn't wait for the next weekend to come around. She read the note.

 _Won't you stay out of this?_ it read in neat handwriting. She picked it up to inspect it and turned it over, but there was no signature, no other clue that might give away the identity of the person who had written it.

Whoever wrote it, Norma didn't like their attitude. She crumpled the note up, feeling the hard, prickly edges of the paper dig into her palm. She was about to toss it into the bin when she changed her mind.

She opened it again, smoothening the creases as best as she could, and she picked up a red marker that had been standing in the pen holder in the corner of her desk.

On the note, she wrote, _NO_ in big and firm letters. Then she plucked a spare pin off the little bulletin board that hung on the divider between her desk and the rest of the English department, and she drove the little piece of metal through the note and into the cork.

Norma was leaving it hanging where it could be seen.

 _If that was what Alex wanted,_ she thought, _two could play at this game._


	5. Roger Campbell and The Patch

**AN: Term has just begun this week and things are already piling up, but I'll be diligent and disciplined. I promise! (She says, when she hasn't written a single word beyond this chapter.)**

* * *

It was a foggy Tuesday evening and Alex was sitting at a table across Roger Campbell, a council member of White Pine Bay. He was a prominent figure in town, and he was a tall, serious man who didn't warm up to anybody around him. There were four people he trusted in his life - his wife Diana, his son Tom, his secretary Edith, and his son's history teacher - Alex Romero.

For some reason, ever since Roger had sat down to talk to Alex during a parent-teacher conference in the first semester last year, they had gotten along very well. In fact, they got along so well that they had set up a tradition of going out for a drink several times a month at the bar down the road where Alex lived, if not to discuss how Tom was doing at school, or to talk about anything Alex had on his mind.

They always ordered a large side of fries; it was not quite dinner time and Roger didn't like to drink on an empty stomach, and Alex was usually feeling peckish after a long day at school.

Alex liked Roger, though he was cautious to keep some distance from him. There were always hushed talks of Roger being a corrupt councillor, and rumours of money-laundering within the council. Alex didn't want to get too close to anything like that. He knew he was much better off being squeaky clean, even if it meant being teased about it from time to time. There were just some risks you didn't take.

Alex admitted that he didn't have many friends, and he treasured his bond with Roger. He liked their dynamic - the two of them were quite similar, from the way they were stern and rigid in appearance to their shared interest in a glass of fine liquor. And this was all it took for them to click.

Alex knew that it was messier beneath the surface, but for the most part turned a blind eye to it. He didn't need to know too much about what Roger was doing on the side; he just needed someone resembling a friend to drink with. And so far, it was working out just fine.

"You know, Tom isn't a bad kid. You know that, right?" said Roger for the tenth time, his face flushed from the two drinks he just had. He wasn't drunk, but he was close to it, and Alex could feel it. He signalled the bartender for another round despite Alex's gentle protest about it being a school night, and then raised his glass to knock against his in a courteous manner.

"I do know that," said Alex, downing his whiskey without much thought. He would usually savour it, but he wasn't quite in the mood, though he still made a point to keep Roger happy by drinking. "He's not a bad kid," he added, and he was being honest.

Tom was a freckle-faced brunette in Alex's history class. The kid had a knack for the subject, but wasn't interested in the general idea of going to school. It was just _boring_ , Tom had said to one of the girls in the class, a short snippet of a conversation Alex had overheard. All these routines and schedules he had to stick to, _or else._ They didn't mean anything to him, and he didn't want anything to do with them. It all just felt a bit empty, didn't it?

"He's just... _directionless_ , that's all," said Roger. He looked slightly frantic and a little disturbed, as though he could not find the right words and had settled for _directionless_. Maybe he had meant antsy. That description was a better one for Tom, the way the kid was just itching to graduate high school.

"He's 17, it's normal," said Alex. "You really don't need to worry about him as much as you do."

"I know, I know." Roger swirled the liquor in his glass and watched as the ice melted slowly. "But it's hard when you have that one kid and he's always up to no good."

"Is this what you wanted to talk to me about? His behaviour at school?" asked Alex, frowning a little.

Roger put his drink down and looked up to meet Alex's eye.

"That's exactly it," he said. "I've always said you're a man after my own heart, and I don't say that to a lot of people. In fact, I don't say it to anyone at all."

"I'm honoured," said Alex sincerely, "but at the end of the day, I'm just a history teacher at a high school in the middle of nowhere."

Roger shook his head and finished his drink.

"And you could say I'm just a councillor in a small town that isn't significant in any way," he said, feeling the alcohol kick in. "It would be correct, but that isn't the point. The point is that you're not just any history teacher. You're _Tom's_ history teacher. You'll keep an eye on him, won't you?"

Alex nodded.

"I don't mean to be paranoid," Roger continued. "But Diana and I- we're always working, you know? I hate to admit it, but I feel like I can talk to you about stuff like this. The truth is, we do not set aside as much time for Tom as we should. Look at him now. He's wreaking havoc all over the place. It's embarrassing."

"You work to provide for him," said Alex, looking down at his empty glass. "To send him to school. To get him his books. The clothes on his back. The kid's got a good head on his shoulders. He's going to be alright."

Roger nodded. "But I just can't help but feel that we let it happen. Four calls from the principal in five weeks." He rubbed his temple. "You're right, he's going to be alright eventually, but right now he's a real pain in the ass."

"At least he actually goes to detention," said Alex. "I see him there when it's my turn to supervise."

He paused, realising his words didn't sound the least bit comforting. When he looked at Roger, he found that the man had suddenly stopped looking so confident after all. All the gusto that Roger had in him seemed to have escaped in the past half hour, leaving a hollow shell of a man, and the simple appearance of a working father who was concerned about the wellbeing of his only son.

"I'll make sure to keep him in line," said Alex reassuringly.

Roger sat up a little straighter then, and gave Alex a look that indicated he was thankful.

They spent a few minutes sitting in silence in the dim light, which was always Alex's favourite part. He liked their conversation, but he liked their silence too. It never felt forced or awkward. It came naturally, even when he was fully sober, which he always was; he had a really high alcohol tolerance and he used it to his advantage.

And, Alex thought, it helped that Roger was always a little drunk. From his temperament stemmed a mellow atmosphere they could both bask in while they listened to the sound of the busy chatter by the bar.

Out of the corner of his eye, Alex noticed Rebecca slipping into the crowded bar.

 _Was it time already?_

She spotted him immediately. She knew where Alex liked to sit when he drank with Roger - at the very back, where it was quieter, where people didn't disturb their conversation.

Rebecca held her hand up to signal her arrival and Alex nodded in response.

"Alright, I think my ride is here," said Alex conclusively, reaching over to grab his coat.

"Romero, you live down the road," replied Roger, but he knew what Alex had meant. He turned around and gave Rebecca a small wave, and she smiled the same old smile she was used to giving him.

Alex got up and put on his coat. He reached for the bill, but Roger grabbed it before he could.

"I got this one," said Roger.

Alex gave him a nod. "Next one's on me." He patted Roger on the back on his way out.

Alex joined Rebecca and they felt a chill creep up to them as they stepped outside. She wrapped her coat tighter around her waist as they walked to her car, and when they were there, she pulled him towards her and kissed him quickly - just a peck on the lips. There would be more to come.

Then they got in, not bothering to take their coats off. It was a short drive to her house; they both knew that. She started the car and looked into her rearview mirror to back the car out of the parking space.

"So how have you been?" asked Alex, keeping an eye out for incoming traffic. There was none. It was a small town, and there were hardly any cars on the road at this awkward hour in the evening, but he felt obligated to look anyway.

"Cut the crap, Alex," said Rebecca, but she was not annoyed. She switched gears and put her foot on acceleration. "I'm just glad we don't have to do it in that stuffy supplies closet."

* * *

"Hey. Coffee?" Alex asked, holding out an empty mug in Norma's direction.

"I'm okay, thanks."

Norma shifted the planner on her lap. It was Friday afternoon, and she was ready for the weekend. But she couldn't go yet, not without settling on a lesson plan. She had just gotten a moment away from Zack and she had been trying to figure out what to do with her class next week. Unfortunately, she hadn't managed to get very far because Alex had walked into the staff lounge moments after her, and she had failed to keep her eyes off him since then.

Somehow, throughout the course of the week, her trust in him had dwindled. Maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her, but she thought he behaved suspiciously, the way he seemed to act like everything was fine between the two of them.

But if Alex was keeping up his part of the act, so was she.

"I've never seen anyone drink coffee at this hour," Norma said casually, watching him while he put on the kettle. The water came to a boil quickly, and he poured it inside the mug after adding a tablespoon of instant coffee.

"I don't really feel it," he admitted. "It kind of goes right through me."

"So why drink it?"

She saw him add a teaspoon of sugar. No milk.

"I'm just thirsty."

"Have you heard of water?"

"Not familiar with it," he said, walking over to sit next to her while he stirred his coffee. "Is your arm okay?" He chucked the plastic stirrer into the bin next to the sofa and took a sip.

"Oh. It was nothing," she started to say, but he looked over to her and she stopped talking. _Why was she acting like this, clamming up again? He had just wanted to know how her arm was._ She loosened a little. "I mean, it was shitty of you to reach out like that."

He smiled.

"It was," he admitted, and then he was serious again. "You know, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know you didn't," she said, nodding. She didn't know what to say except to keep the atmosphere light. "But I'll be putting those hefty medical bills on your card, right?"

"Go ahead. I had an extra seventy thousand dollars to spare anyway."

"I thought so," she said, cracking a small smile.

There was an amiable silence between them, and she was about to carry on working on her lesson plan when he suddenly spoke up.

"Listen," he said solemnly. He took a big gulp of his coffee and paused. She knew what was coming. He was going to talk to her about the school's drug problem, and he was going to tell her to stay out of it.

She braced herself for the conversation they were going to have.

"Listening," she said, not looking at him. Her hand lingered on the side of the page and she focused on her ballpoint pen that rested in the middle, pretending to be thinking about what she was going to write down.

"About that... that _drug_ thing," he said, lowering his voice and leaning in. He was so close now, she could feel his breath on her neck. She could smell it, too. It smelled good, of strong coffee. "I know what you're doing. And you don't need to be a part of it, okay?"

Norma felt her jaw tighten.

 _So much for a light atmosphere,_ she thought.

"But I am," she said suddenly. She hadn't bothered to keep her voice down because they were the only two people in the room, and he pulled back almost instinctively. It was only then that she managed to lift her head up to look him in the eye. He looked as though he didn't understand, so she elaborated. "I am a part of it, Alex. I teach here. I _live_ here. I know these kids. How am I supposed to just sit back and watch them do this to themselves?"

He sighed. "I know you want to intervene, and I'm not saying it's wrong of you to help, but you don't know how this town works."

"You keep saying that. You're right I don't, but _you_ do."

"I can't snoop around for you," he said bluntly, and she looked disappointed and irritated. "It's not that simple," he said.

"It's only as complicated as you want it to be," said Norma firmly.

Ignoring what she was saying, Alex stood up and finished his coffee. He walked over to the sink and rinsed out his mug before he put it in the dishwasher, and then he headed for the door.

"I don't want you to get into trouble."

Norma didn't understand what he meant by that. But at least he was talking now, wasn't he? Even if it was just a bit, he was talking.

"You're not getting me into anything. I'm doing this willingly."

"It's dangerous business."

"I'll be careful."

"But it's not up to you on that front. There are people out there who won't want you in this. And I hate to admit it, but I know some of them, and-"

"You _know_ them? Alex, why didn't you-" she paused. "You could've told me-"

"I'm not risking it."

Norma looked perplexed.

"Look," she said. "I'm not saying we team up and solve crimes during school hours, then drink wine and tell each other our deepest secrets afterwards."

"Good, because we're not doing any of that."

"All I'm saying is that maybe you can give me a hand."

She could see his chest stiffen and his shoulders tense. She didn't know what he was going to say. She didn't even know if he was even going to answer her, or if he was just going to leave the room without further discussion because she could see that he had already had a hand on the door knob. He shook his head.

"I'm afraid I can't," said Alex. "And I'm really going to need you to stay out of it."

Norma clicked her tongue.

"Or what?"

He shrugged. "Or I'll make you," he said simply. He hoped he didn't sound threatening. He didn't want to. But even if he had, it didn't daunt her.

"I look forward to that," she snapped, clicking her planner shut. She wasn't in the mindset for lesson planning anymore. Her pen rolled off the side of the couch and fell onto the carpet with a light thud, which she ignored. She watched as he left the room, and then, when she heard his footsteps echo down the hall and she was sure he would not return, slouched into the plush sofa with a huff.

 _Damn him,_ she thought. _Damn him to hell with his arrogance._

The more he wanted her out of it, the less she wanted to be out of it.

* * *

The student book club was going well, and Norma took that as an opportunity to get to know her students better. Though the response had been overwhelmingly positive, attendance decreased as time went on. She didn't blame them; she knew most people would have more going on in their lives than a book club.

But the remaining six had been so dedicated; they had been devouring books readily and hungrily. They were reading so quickly that there were times when Norma thought she could barely keep up. She used to dedicate a large portion of her Friday evenings to curling up on the couch with a good book. These days, her social calendar filled up in the company of Zack and Rebecca.

They were warm and enthusiastic people, the both of them, and they liked having Norma around when they tried new things. So far, Norma had tried archery, air-pistol shooting, and bowling. They had even attempted ballroom dancing, and she was pleasantly surprised to discover it was one thing she was not entirely rubbish at.

They had even tried painting, and that sealed the deal for Norma. She had always thought she knew Zack and Rebecca fairly well, and now it turned out that she didn't know them at all.

She never thought Rebecca was the kind of girl with the patience for anything who wasn't hard and fast, but she was wrong about that. At the same time, she never thought Zack was the kind of man who was bad at... bowling.

It seemed weirdly specific, but it wasn't like that. She just thought there was damn near nothing he couldn't do, because he seemed to good at everything. But with their scores of 119 (Rebecca's score, of course), 102 (Norma's), and a rough 76 (needless to say whose that was), Norma realised she might have idealised him in her head after all.

And what a relief that was. She hadn't even realised how perfect she had made him up to be, from all the confidence he outwardly projected in his day-to-day life.

Then there was the last thing, the final thing that sounded absolutely odd to say out loud so she shouldn't, Norma thought, was that the three of them had actually grown so close that they shared a patch of vegetation in the farm an hour away from White Pine Bay.

Norma had never, for as long as she had lived, thought she would get her hands dirty like this. But it was something in Rebecca's voice that made her want to do it, that made Norma want to please her. There was always something compelling in Rebecca's voice that led her to having her way with people. In a sense, Rebecca was much better than Norma at being charming.

"It would be so much fun!" Rebecca had said to Norma, her red lips puckering up into a pout. Zack was next to her, nodding enthusiastically. They were standing next to Rebecca's car on the side of the lot across the school.

Norma was hesitant, and they saw that in her eyes.

"Come on, you've never farmed, have you?" Zack egged her on, flashing a grin.

"Well, not really," admitted Norma.

"Do it!" he said. "You'll have such a good time."

"Say yes," chimed in Rebecca.

They were a glossy, shiny, perfect, irresistible duo.

Norma, fallen to their charms, said yes. _Yes, yes, yes._ _I'll do it._

The Patch was what they called it, and it was part of some kind of project that was going on in the next town. They had chipped in and rented a patch of land, and every other Sunday, they would drive in and tend to it. Water it, pull out weeds, that kind of thing. The rest of the time, there was someone else around to do the work for them.

Norma wasn't an expert, so she mostly just put on her wide-brimmed hat and a pair of gloves and learned. She hadn't a clue what they were doing, but Zack and Rebecca were quick and efficient. She watched them dart around the little patch that was no wider than King sized bed, Zack in a polo shirt and corduroy shorts, Rebecca in a striped shirt and khaki overalls. They looked good even when they were not supposed to, and that impressed Norma.

By their next visit, they could see little shoots growing out of the damp soil.

Norma was excited about this. She had searched up recipes online afterwards. Tomatoes this, tomatoes that. The things she could do with them! She had always enjoyed cooking, but she didn't know much about growing anything of her own. She thought it was a bit premature for her to print the recipes out - there was still a long way to go - and she had to stop herself from doing so. But she was excited, and there was no denying that.

Norma was glad she did it. She was learning so much with Zack and Rebecca, and she was growing. That was how normal people felt, right? Happy, fulfilled, and then curious again, ready for more, ready for the next thing. Wasn't life sweet?

* * *

 **AN: I know people don't really use kettles in America, but I would rather stab my eyes out than describe Alex Romero heating up water in a microwave. (Sorry, sorry, sorry.)**


	6. 3 to 1

**AN: New chapter! New chapter! Read all about it!**

* * *

Norma had done a great deal of research in her free time, about the school and about White Pine Bay. There were many things she had discovered from clicking on news articles from years ago.

She learnt of a drug ring that had been taken down in the spring of 2013. Two men had been growing marijuana in their backyard that spanned two acres, and they had been selling it to young adults in batches. She learnt of a man who had been found dead in October in 2014, with five gunshot wounds to his chest and one through his head. A woman died mysteriously two weeks after that, and her death was never explained, just briefly reported.

This idyllic seaside town did have a lot of secrets, didn't it? She would never have known, if she hadn't bothered to dig them up. She wondered what else lurked beneath the surface, but there were no entries available from 2016 onwards. She had tried to get around it, and she did stumbled across a database of White Pine Bay. But that needed an access code she didn't have, and it stopped her in her tracks for the time being.

There was a period of quietness, and then the notes flooded in. They were always in the same neat handwriting, on a yellow post-it note, stuck on the centre of her desk.

 _STOP IT_ , one read, and another told her they were going to 'get her' if she kept going, whatever _that_ meant.

Norma scoffed at all of them. If anyone wanted to get her off their backs, they were going to have to try a lot harder than a couple of notes.

* * *

Norma was struggling to carry the twenty-two binders in her arms to her desk. It wasn't that they were so heavy; they were just enormously bulky, and they threatened to spill out of her grip every time she took a step. She wished she had told her students to use folders instead. It was a miracle she had even managed to get through the door, but two teachers were just having a chat outside the staff room and one of them had swiped her in while the other held the door.

"Here, let me give you a hand," said a voice beside her.

She craned her neck and saw that it was Alex. He must have just returned from a departmental meeting, held in the little conference room next to the entrance. She had always loved that room. In place of where there should be walls, there were ceiling to floor glass panels. Even the door was a glass one. It was completely see-through, and light streamed in from all four sides on sunny days.

"I'm fine, thanks," she said automatically. She didn't like to bother anyone.

She inched towards her desk. A stream of teachers who were going to lunch piled in front of her. One by one they slipped beside her to get to the door. She had not seen it coming because of the binders in her arms, and when she had, it was too late. She swerved sideways so as not to get hit, and in doing so, tripped over her own feet.

She would have fallen if not for Alex, who had still been trailing next to her hesitantly. She reached out for something to hold onto but there was none, and she fell into his arms in one swift motion. It had all happened so quickly, she didn't even have time to let out a yelp.

"I got you!" he said.

It was a full embrace. They had never touched before this moment, and this was a peculiar sensation for the both of them.

Norma thought it was a different feeling than the one she had when Zack hugged her. Now she knew this was not exactly a _hug_ , but she didn't feel the need to flinch, nor did she want to tear away from him immediately.

It was in that instant that Alex felt something for Norma that he had never felt before, something profound that seemed to come from within a deep place inside him. That strange feeling offset the small twang in his heart, one he had for years now. It was as though someone had been clicking and clicking on that little button on a lighter, trying to ignite a spark. And with her touch, a small flame had suddenly arrived. It was only a little flicker, but it was so surely there that he could never miss it.

He could smell the sweet scent of her perfume, and he felt, in a good way, heady at the abundance of lavender and vanilla that shrouded his senses. He felt her soft cheek press against his and all he knew was that he wanted her to stay that way for a long time to come.

Still in Alex's arms, Norma watched as the door of the staff room bang shut. The same group of teachers had been so careless they had not noticed her at all, nor had they heard the loud crash of the binders as they fell onto the thinly carpeted floor.

It took her a moment to gather herself but now that the room was quiet with just the two of them, she did.

Without a word, she scrambled out of his arms somewhat clumsily, readjusting her feet in her wedges as best as she could. A lock of her hair had gotten caught in one of the buttons by his collar, and she nearly snagged it when she was untangling it. Then she bent down to gather the binders.

"Maybe a little help _would_ be nice," she said without a hint of contempt. She was flustered from what had just happened. She didn't dare look up. She didn't know if he had just been affected as she was, and she wouldn't bet her money on anything.

Alex snapped out of his trance and nodded dumbly before bending down to help her. The two of them crouched on the carpet and stacked the binders into a neat pile. He saw she was about to get up, and grabbed the pile before she could. It was heavier than he had expected, but it wasn't anything on him. He walked her back to her desk then, with her guiding him as if he didn't already know where she sat.

When he set the binders onto her table, she noticed he caught a glimpse of the post-it notes that she had pinned to her bulletin board. She waited for him to say something, but he said nothing. She would bring it up, but given what had just happened, she realised the situation was already sufficiently awkward and there was no point. She really didn't need to add to the level of uneasiness right now, so she decided to give it a rest.

"Thanks," she said as professionally as she could, and he couldn't tell if she was just trying to dial the embarrassment back or if she was channeling her polite persona again. He hoped it was the former. He hated the idea that she thought the latter was how she had to act towards him whenever anything slightly unusual happened.

"No worries," he responded. He cleared his throat. He was reminded of the sensation that he had felt just now, and he suddenly wanted to tell her he might join her book club after all. She looked at him expectantly, but his brain was coming up empty, and he struggled to get his words out. "I was just thinking that I could, you know, j-"

"Norma!"

A familiar voice cut through the air and interrupted him.

It was Zack, and he was walking towards Norma with a sense of urgency and determination that Alex had never seen before.

"Hey," Zack nodded at Alex when he was close. Then he turned to her again. "Can I speak to you for a minute?"

She blinked. "Alex was just in the middle of telling me something."

"It'll just be a minute," he reassured her.

She looked doubtful, but then she relaxed. "Alright."

Zack gave Alex a look, and he took it as his cue to walk away and leave the two of them alone. He was reluctant, and he looked at Norma, hoping she might say something to get him to stay but she didn't, so he backed off. He turned around and occupied himself with something on a nearby desk that was still within earshot, but ducked his head down so it wouldn't be so obvious that he intended to eavesdrop.

"I've been thinking about this for some time now," said Zack.

Alex could hear the excitement in Zack's voice, and he clenched his jaw.

"About what?"

That was Norma, and she had said exactly what Alex was thinking. Her voice was a little shaky and uncertain, as though she was trying to steady herself in front of Zack. Alex had never heard that before.

"Well..." Zack lowered his voice but Alex could still hear what he was saying. Clearly, Zack was not the kind of person to be discreet. "You're a wonderful woman, Norma. _You are,_ " he added quickly when she tried to speak. "I hope I don't sound too forward, but maybe we can go get a drink sometime this week."

"What?"

Norma sounded confused, and Alex was sure she was faking it. The Norma he knew would never be so oblivious. She was a good actress, and Alex had to stop himself from smirking out loud.

"You know," Zack tried to explain. "Get to properly know each other-"

" _Oh_. That."

"Yeah."

Zack stood there, now a bit more self-aware. He had strode in with confidence, thinking Norma would say yes right away, but that confidence was beginning to waver. He knew what the problem was. They just hadn't been spending as much time together lately. She always seemed to be talking to Alex these days, and it wasn't just plain chatting. They always ducked their heads low and murmured to each other as though they were whispering secrets, and then sometimes, the two of them would pull back and burst out laughing.

Zack hated it. He hated that someone else was there to make her laugh, and he didn't know what intentions Alex had with her. Whatever they were, they couldn't be good. He knew the kind of person Alex was. He walked around looking all morally correct, but wasn't he just a womaniser after all? Who was that young woman before Rebecca, who had just left a year ago? Didn't he sleep with her too, before she left the school and vanished?

It was that that had spurred Zack to ask Norma out. He wasn't doing a very good job of it, but he was doing _something_. He had hoped to get to her before Alex could, because he knew Alex would, inevitably. He always did.

"I'm not in a good place this week," said Norma conclusively. She didn't try to bat him away, didn't come up with some lame excuse about how she had to work or how she needed to check her schedule before she could get back to him. "Maybe some other time."

Zack's face dropped. He was not used to rejection, but what could he say, really? He couldn't throw a tantrum in the middle of the staff room. Maybe she was just playing hard to get, he thought. Women did that, didn't they?

Alex kept his head down. He could feel a grin spreading from his lips to the rest of his face.

"Next week?" asked Zack, not giving up.

Norma paused, caught between a rock and a hard place. She let out a small exhale, knowing there was no way she could get out of it. She would have to deal with it _eventually._ "Yeah, that's fine."

"Alright," he said, satisfied. "I'll text you."

When Zack had left, Alex returned to her side.

"You're not going to turn him down, are you?" Alex asked. He was hoping to come off as casual, like he was making fun of Zack as he did normally. He expected Norma to laugh, but she grew silent. She looked pensive.

"Were you just _eavesdropping_?" she asked, her bright eyes narrowing. She didn't look pleased, and Alex suddenly wished he hadn't said anything. "Alex, this isn't really the time and place..." she started to say, and then she looked at him. "No, no. Wait." She backtracked. "You think this is a _joke_ , don't you?"

"What?"

Norma huffed. "You think everything Zack does is a joke, and you were going to have a laugh about it with me."

"I wasn't."

"But you were," she said, eyeing him stiffly. "I saw the way you came over with that smirk on your face, and I just knew what you were going to say."

"Fine," Alex confessed. "I was. I was going to laugh at him for asking you out. What's wrong with that?" He didn't know where her hostility was coming from. Hadn't they laughed about Zack in the past? Didn't they always? He wanted to ask her that, but he couldn't tell where their conversation was going anymore. He probably shouldn't.

"You know, you can be such a shitty person sometimes," she said hotly, her voice full of reproach.

"I don't think _you're_ a joke," he explained, resting his arm on the partition in front of her desk. "You're the furthest thing from a joke to me."

"I know that." The bluntness in her response surprised him. "But it's your schtick, isn't it? Making fun of anyone who isn't emotionally constipated like you are all the time. Punishing people for having emotions. God forbid anyone have genuine feelings around you; they'll never hear the end of it."

Tired of being pulled apart, Alex became defensive. "Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Norma," he said slowly. "This is ridiculous. You're pinning it on me, like you weren't happily laughing along the whole time? Since when did _you_ care about going out with him at all?"

"Since about two minutes ago when you started being a dick."

"Alright," he said. "Whatever. Have fun on your date, I guess. Go full out Florence Nightingale on his ass then, since you're obviously the most compassionate person on this planet."

"You know what? I will do just that," she snapped.

Alex didn't say anything, just walked away, feeling jealous and annoyed and dissatisfied. He was irked that Norma cared about Zack that much. Maybe he had gone too far, eavesdropping and wanting to make a joke of it. But the truth was, he didn't think so, and he didn't think she would feel so strongly about it.

Alex had always had a soft spot for Norma, for reasons he couldn't explain. When he saw her that first time in the staff room, he had felt something, and he won't deny it. But sometimes it took a lot for him not to hate her guts. She was remarkable and unpredictable like the weather, hot one minute and cold the next, and he had to admit that she threw him off completely. He had no idea she would even make him feel this much, and he was slightly afraid of her impact on him.

Norma watched him go, and then she sat down at her desk. She was staring at the binders but wasn't quite focusing. It was lunchtime but she didn't feel hungry anymore, just conflicted and angry at herself.

* * *

Rebecca rolled over to the side of the bed and arched her back like a cat stretching out. Alex didn't bother to look. She had always done that afterwards, after they had both fallen asleep and woken up again.

It was early evening on a Friday; and an idle weekend stretched ahead.

Rebecca had been coming over a lot more often lately, but Alex wasn't mad about it. He had been feeling a little tense from all that had been happening, and he supposed he needed some form of release. He was still thinking about Norma, the way she had fallen into his arms like that, and then he thought about Zack asking her out. And then the part he didn't want to remember, but did anyway - their mini fallout. She wasn't _really_ going to end up with him, was she? He didn't know, and he couldn't stop thinking about it.

The warm glow from the remaining stretch of sunlight pooled into the room through the half opened blinds. He had forgotten to close them again, and he got up to fix that.

"Where are you going?" murmured Rebecca. She wasn't really paying attention. She buried her head into the pillow and let out a soft purr. She was pleased to be lying there, just like that. She felt a shadow fall onto her when the blinds dropped with a loud clatter and she pulled the duvet up to her chin. She was too exhausted to think about anything right now.

Alex looked at her lying there while he stood there in his boxers and he suddenly felt sheepish, like he had done something wrong and had been caught red-handed. There weren't any rules to this arrangement, but here he was, thinking about Norma while he slept with Rebecca. It didn't take a moralist to figure out there was something inherently bad about that.

"We shouldn't do this anymore," said Alex, his voice a little hoarse from having just woken up.

"Sure," Rebecca responded as matter of factly. She didn't open her eyes, just smirked slightly. It stayed on the edge of her lips for a moment before they dropped again.

"I'm serious."

"You say that every time, and then we're in bed again."

She was not taking him seriously. She didn't have any reason to, really. Every time he told her they had to put an end to what they were doing, they inevitably ended up together again. They both knew why; they had no one else but each other, so that was the tie that had inextricably bound them together for a year now, whether they liked it or not. And most of the time, they did.

"But this time," he said, and he felt ridiculous saying it, "is the last."

"Alright," she mused. "If you insist."

He didn't respond, and his silence prompted her to open one eye to see if he was still there. She peered at him. He was getting dressed now. He put on his trousers and reached for his belt. She opened her other eye, too, and watched as he fastened it.

"What's going on with you?" she asked. She was amused and curious.

"Nothing." He put on his shirt and looked into the mirror while he did his buttons.

" _Alex,"_ Rebecca said, in a tone that she used only on him. It seemed to suggest that he could tell her anything - absolutely anything - and she wouldn't be fazed. After all, hadn't they just spent the past year fooling around together? It was about as intimate as it got, she thought. She didn't have to tell him that she knew there was something on his mind; it was implied and understood. "There's somebody, isn't there?" she asked anyway.

"Maybe there is, maybe there isn't."

He realised he should've put on his shirt first; that was how he had always done it. Now he had to find some other way to tuck his shirt in without creasing it, but there was none. He would have to do it again. He sighed, unfastening his belt. "We just need to stop doing this, okay?"

"Okay," she said. "Geez."

When he was all done, he sprayed a dash of cologne onto his collar quite delicately.

Rebecca studied him, and then she laughed. "Since when did you care about- _oh_. Oh, Alex! You'd better tell me all about her."

* * *

Alex walked in and closed the door. The room was dim, and there was a woman standing in the corner with her back turned against him. She was wearing a dark grey suit, and along with her dark skin, she had almost blended in into the surroundings. She was in the middle of smoking a cigar. She took a sharp inhale, lowered it, and breathed it all out slowly. She tapped it lightly, and he could see little flecks of ashes float to the floor.

"Jane."

The woman turned around, her sleek brown hair bobbing about her shoulders. There was a glint in her green eyes.

"Alex."

"What do you need me for?" he asked. He was impatient but respectful.

"Are you going to stop sleeping with Rebecca?" Her voice was deep and husky, and full of authority.

"What?" Alex was shocked and offended at the violation of his privacy. "Who told you that? And how about saying hello like a normal person?"

"You know I'm not a normal person, and neither are you," she said, and didn't answer his question. She took another long drag and blew the smoke out. "You're going to cut things off with Rebecca, and you _cannot_ do that."

"That's my personal life. It has nothing to do with you, or _this_." Alex gestured at the vague space between them.

"You need as many feelers out there as you can get, okay? You're not friends with anyone in the school, and that's not good. You need to surround yourself with people, is what I'm saying."

"I hate people."

The woman sighed. She nodded sympathetically, and cleared her throat. The smoke had gotten to her. "You signed up for this; you don't have a choice."

Alex rubbed his temple. "No."

"Have you told her?"

"Kind of. But it isn't... it isn't official. I shouldn't have done that. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, be smart," the woman said. She gave a dismissive wave of a hand, and Alex headed for the door. He had his hand on the doorknob when she called out firmly. "And, Romero?"

Alex turned around. "Yeah?"

"You're so tense all the time, Lord knows you could really use some quality sex."

"Now you're just being rude," said Alex, exasperated.

"It's called banter. It's very popular in England."

Alex clicked his tongue. "Well, would that be all?"

"Nearly," said the woman. "One more thing... get that Bates woman out of this, won't you?"

Alex knew what she was talking about. Norma hadn't been shy about her research.

"She's not going to cause any trouble," said Alex quickly. He hoped he sounded reassuring. He didn't want Norma to be on anyone's radar.

"She won't now, but if she keeps going-"

"I'll talk to her."

The woman nodded. "And don't even _think_ about getting involved with her," she said.

Alex felt hot at the mention of that. "You're telling me an awful lot for 'one more thing'."

"I'm looking out for you," she said without missing a beat. "You have to remember who you are. You can't do complicated, not any more than you are now."

"I-" Alex started, but stopped when he caught a glimpse of the watch that hung on one of the walls. "Shit. Can we talk about this later? I'm going to be late for sixth period."

"No, we're done now," she said.

She watched as he nodded and slipped out of the room. When she was absolutely alone, she turned on the light and sighed. She had always been confident in Alex, purely because he never seemed to harbour strong feelings for anyone he worked with. But something was off with him now, and she couldn't afford any mistakes on his part. Things had been going exceptionally well, and great strides had been made. It was obvious from the start that there would be no going back. She just _really_ needed him to be on his A game now.

* * *

 **AN: Drama! Suspense!** **Thank you for reading. Reviews are very much welcomed and appreciated!**


	7. A Turn of Events

**AN: Picking up the pace! Kind of.**

* * *

There was a creak on the phone line, and Alex instinctively felt that something was wrong before he even heard a voice.

It was three in the morning, and he had just been rudely interrupted by the sound of his mobile phone ringing. He wasn't asleep then because he had been up writing, and almost jumped when the phone on the table started buzzing, skittering along the wooden surface as it threatened to slide itself off the edge.

As absorbed as he was in his work, Alex knew that phones didn't ring at three in the morning. They just didn't, unless something was amiss.

He picked up somewhat begrudgingly, bracing himself.

"Hello?" he mumbled.

"Alex-" a voice said jaggedly.

He recognised at once that it belonged to Norma. She was speaking softly, weakly, as if she was cooing into the receiver, and he heard the convulsive catching of her breath. She sounded as though she was scared stiff, and he could tell she had been crying. He felt his chest constrict, and he forgot all about the fight they had just a few days ago.

"Norma? What's wrong?" he spoke quickly, dropping his pen. He got up from his desk and paced the room anxiously.

"I'm... _someone_ -" she began to explain, but changed her mind. "Will you just come over?"

Alex looked at the little analogue clock on his desk and frowned. "Right now?"

"Right now," she said, her voice strained and weary. "Please?"

It didn't take any more convincing for him to agree to it. She recited her address and he promptly got changed and shuffled into his coat. Before he left, he made sure he had put away whatever he was writing into the first drawer in his desk. He slammed it shut, locked it and took the key with him before he headed out.

* * *

"I didn't know who to call," Norma confessed the moment she let Alex into her apartment. She sounded as though she was ashamed. She was afraid he would start making remarks about how she could've called Zack, but he didn't. The cold air outside had sobered him all up, and he had had the drive over to think about what he was going to say to her. He just nodded understandingly, and she was grateful.

In the soft light, he could see her eyes were puffy, and her hair was dishevelled from the panic.

He scanned the living room and saw that it was a mess. Two of her lamps had been smashed onto the ground, there was a large hole in her window, and her coffee table had been upturned. There were claw marks all over her couch, made by knives, he presumed, and the cotton stuffing had been torn out and strewn around the place.

There were a couple of books that were swept from the shelf, but most of them were spared. Picture frames that hung on the wall and adorned cabinet tops were cruelly smashed, and as Alex made his way into the room, he was careful not to step on the broken glass, even with his shoes on.

"How did this-" he began, and she interrupted him.

"I had been asleep," she explained, pulling at her blue robe and wrapping it around her body. "And I heard a loud crash, which woke me up. When I heard it, I just... I just _froze_. You know, this is a small place, and I heard noises, like there were two people climbing in through the window. _Which_ ," she said, pausing for breath. She gave a small hiccup. "Which I suppose isn't that hard to do."

Alex knew what she meant. She lived on the third floor of a four story building, but it was hardly any distance from the ground. If people had really wanted to break in, all they had to do was scale up the short building and climb in through the large windows that was on one side of the living room.

"I couldn't hear what they were saying. It was all mumbling, and I was so scared," she said. "I just locked myself in the bathroom - the one in my room. And the whole time they tore the place apart I was praying they wouldn't come and get me," she settled on the couch that had been ripped to shreds. "It's so _stupid_ , I know, and you must think I'm such a stupid woman for hiding-"

"What? No! No, Norma..." Alex sat down next to her. "You're not stupid. You were smart to hide."

"After for what seemed like _eons_ ," she continued, "everything was still again. And I didn't dare move, until I knew with absolute certainty that they were gone. Then I got out, saw this whole mess... I was shaking from it - I still am - and I picked up my phone, and for some reason, I- I just called you."

Her voice faded out. They sat in silence, mulling over her words.

"I'm not usually like this," said Norma suddenly, as if she had remembered where she was. There was a sense of dignity in her cracked voice, and she leaned away from him. He had had his arm hovering around her the whole time, and he retracted it. He didn't want her to feel claustrophobic. "You have to know that I'm not usually like this at all," she reinforced.

"I know." Alex's voice was gentle and not at all patronising.

"No, Alex. I really- I've been through a lot, and... I've seen some _shit_. I have." She now moved away from him entirely to the opposite end of the couch and he wished she hadn't.

"You don't have to explain." There was a sincerity in his voice that let her know he believed her.

She mumbled something inaudible, which prompted him to lean in all over again.

"What's that?"

"I said I'm sorry I said those things," she said. "I... I got so mad at you out of the blue, but it wasn't really a random thing. It wasn't like I just had a mood swing."

Norma looked as though she was tired of talking about it already, and he understood.

"Hey, listen. You don't have to explain a thing."

She nodded. He was right. After all, her apartment had just been broken into. Surely talking could wait.

Alex got up from the torn-up couch and he was about to head towards the door when she reached out to hold him by the sleeve. This surprised him. He turned around.

"Please don't go," she said quietly. When he didn't say anything, she loosened her grip. Still, she lingered on, not quite letting go. "I'd really hate to spend the rest of the night here by myself."

Alex's face softened, and he knew he had to stay.

* * *

Norma fell asleep on her own bed while Alex slept on the couch. He didn't want to impose, so he hadn't even bothered asking for a blanket. When she came out of her room the next morning with puffy eyes that hurt from the crying last night, she saw him curled up without even a sheet and she felt terrible for not being a better host. The sight of him along with the mess of her living room reaffirmed that last night had really happened.

The only upside, thought Norma as she walked into the kitchen, was that whoever had broken into her apartment had not tampered with anything beyond the living room. She was at least grateful for that.

Norma turned up the heat on the stove and took what she needed out of the fridge. Then, as quietly as she could, hoping not to wake him, she laid the table and made the two of them a full breakfast each. When it was almost ready, she nudged him on the shoulder gently and he shot up, alert and hazy at the same time.

"The bathroom's just right there," she said, pointing to the small lavatory down the corridor. He got up, washed his face and rinsed his mouth with some mouthwash he had found by the sink. He didn't manage to catch many hours of sleep, but he felt better as the strong scent of peppermint filled his breath.

They had breakfast and she made him a cup of coffee just the way he liked it - a splash of milk, no sugar - to wash it all down. It was almost intoxicating, seeing Norma in her little pale green apron for that split second, but he kept the thought to himself.

"After what had happened last night..." he started before they were about to leave to head to school. "For the last time, I'm telling you - stop looking into it."

Norma rolled her eyes and put on her high heels. "You're beginning to sound like a broken record." She picked up her one-strap tote and swung it over her shoulder.

"I'll stop repeating myself when you start listening to what I say."

"Fine."

He didn't believe her in the slightest.

"I promise I won't," said Norma. "I won't dig anymore, okay? Are you happy?" She rushed him out of the door. "Let's go; we're going to be late for school."

Alex walked out into the quiet hallway and watched as she locked the door. She was light and fluttery today, and in a surprisingly good mood. He wondered how she managed to recover this quickly. She seemed to have just brushed it off and bounced back overnight, like this was the kind of thing she experienced on a weekly basis.

Even with her reassurance, something just seemed a bit off. He didn't think she was going to drop it like she had promised. It was almost too easy, the way she had gone down without a fight. He had every reason to be suspicious.

"I'm being serious," he said solemnly when they were walking downstairs. "You're really damn lucky they didn't lay a finger on you." She didn't respond.

When they reached the landing, Alex stopped Norma when she was about to open the door to the passenger side of her car. He told her it was best that they drove into school separately. He didn't want rumours to start churning, especially with her situation with Zack being so up in the air. She scoffed at him like he had just said something really childish, but he insisted, and she could only watch as he turned his car around and drove out of the complex.

* * *

When the last bell of the day rang, Norma got up and lingered by Alex's table. She stood from a fair distance and pretended to busy herself with the photocopier. She was waiting for him to return from his class.

When he did, she caught a whiff of winter that rested on his shoulders. The smell of pine from the trees that surrounded the schoolyard seemed to have caught onto his clothes and stayed with him. He was in deep thought and hadn't noticed Norma, just breezed past her.

"Hey," said Norma, moving in a little closer. "The problem is," she said, and lowered her voice. "I'm not sure if they're going to come back tonight, and-"

Alex looked up. "I'll be there."

"Okay. Thanks." He nodded and she gave him a tight-lipped smile before she walked off.

It had only been a simple exchange, but the thought of Alex going over again was thrilling. She wasn't sure she was that scared, really, because she didn't think the burglars would do it again. Two times seemed a bit redundant, didn't it? Who had the energy for a double burglary? But it worked, and she hated calling it an excuse because it made her feel needy. She much preferred to call it a reason.

* * *

Norma greeted Alex warmly when he entered and took his coat from him. She hung it up on the little coat rack by the door. He could smell something cooking from the kitchen, and he saw that she had really put in an effort to tidy up the place after the incident last night. She told him she liked cleaning because it gave her something to do and took her mind off things.

"What things?" he asked innocuously, looking out of the window. The early evening had just set in, and there was a cool air that drifted in from her broken window. She hadn't managed to patch it up just yet, but the glass shards had been thoroughly swept away. Suddenly, he felt bad for not having been there when she had fixed everything.

" _Things_ ," she said simply, offering no further explanation. "Have you eaten?"

Alex said he hadn't.

"Good," she said before walking into the kitchen. "Make yourself at home," she called out, and it sounded almost like a command. "I'll be out in a minute."

They had a quiet dinner. He complimented her on her pot roast, and she looked pleased.

"Really, you think so?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "Where'd you get the recipe?"

She hesitated. "It's a family recipe."

"Really," he said, raising an eyebrow. Not in disbelief, just happy to learn about it. "That's nice."

She nodded.

He suddenly asked her to tell him about her childhood.

"Where would I start?" she asked. She was buying time; she hadn't decided what she wanted to tell him just yet.

"With your parents, I guess."

"Well..." she would be careful in choosing her words. "My mother's a wonderful person. She always cooked."

Norma looked into the distance. Alex saw a wistfulness bestow her.

"She baked, too. I still remember the smell of cookies fresh from the oven when I came home from school. My father... he's musical. Sunday mornings were filled with the sounds of him on the piano, and he used to hum all these old songs while he got ready for work in the morning."

Alex smiled contently. "They sound like good people."

"They are. Guess I lucked out." She took a big sip of wine.

"Any siblings?" he asked.

"Nope."

Norma thought she was at the height of her inventory prowess when they were clearing their plates. They brought them into the kitchen and left them in the sink.

She rambled on about her rosy life for a while, and wondered what else she could invent. Maybe a pet, maybe a best friend, maybe even a boyfriend. But she decided against all of it in the end. She didn't want to overdo it. Best to leave it simple, she thought, or she would get too caught up in her own lies and trip up.

They found themselves sitting on her couch afterwards. Her legs were tucked beneath her, and he leaned against the armrest on the other end. They had moved onto another topic now and she was glad for it. Any more of her fake childhood, and he would start picking up on inconsistencies. She inched herself closer to him, and she was sure he could sense it. He didn't look at her, just stared straight ahead at a fixed spot on the wall like he was trying to avoid something.

"I guess I'm just a conscientious person," said Alex. He didn't know why they were having this discussion about what kind of people they were. He didn't enjoy talking about himself and much preferred listening to other people.

"Well, it's not a bad thing," she replied.

Norma leaned in closer still. She could feel a metallic tingle run through her body, and Alex felt the same. He looked over and met her eye, and then his gaze drifted downwards to her lips. They were soft and inviting, and warm, too, he imagined. He wanted to kiss them, and the rest of her face, and her body...

"It's just like having morals," she continued, and she was whispering now because they were so close. He felt her breath on his ear. It tickled lightly. "You say it like it's such a bad thing," she said.

"It does get in the way sometimes," he confessed. He felt like he was floating, and it was such a unique sensation for the sober him. She had had a glass of red wine, but he hadn't had anything to drink at all.

"Like when?"

She was done testing the waters. Now she was just provoking him, teasing him because she knew he wanted it too, as much as she did.

It was the perfect atmosphere with the lights turned down low. Alex was about to reach over to cup her cheek and kiss her, but stopped himself when he remembered the conversation he had with Jane. No, he definitely couldn't kiss Norma. That would be crossing the line. Nothing would come of it but immense pleasure and big trouble. Didn't he just say he was conscientious? He sure did.

But before he could move away, she kissed him.

It was a long and hard kiss. He could tell she had been wanting to do this for a while. So did he, and he kissed her back. Tentatively at first, and then she pulled him towards her and all he could do was try to stop himself from taking his shirt off and her dress too. He ran his fingers through her hair and then cradled her head gently with one hand.

Alex heard the voice of reason again and again in his head, and he felt a panic rise up in his chest. There were flashing lights in his mind telling him he shouldn't be doing this. The words were banged and drilled into his brain and he couldn't block them out no matter how hard he tried.

Suddenly and reluctantly, he pulled away. It surprised her, and she looked at him with searching eyes, demanding an explanation.

"I can't," was all Alex said.

"Can't what? Here, let me help you..." she murmured while she unbuttoned his collar. He had to nudge her away gently.

"Stop, stop, stop," he said. "Wait, Norma. Hold on. Stop."

She did, and sat upright.

"I can't do this," Alex repeated, putting his hands by his sides. He had to clear his head.

"My lipstick's..." she started, pointing to his face. She trailed off and took a deep breath. She felt hot and bothered, and worst of all, now sleazy too, for coming onto him like that, only to have been rejected with such abruptness. Or maybe the sleaziness came with the rejection, she didn't know.

He wiped her lipstick off his lip with the back of his hand and studied it briefly. The shades of fuchsia stained his skin, and when he met her eye again, he had to try his best not to go back towards her for more, though she had already inched away from him quite dramatically.

"What's wrong?" was all she could ask. She fumbled with her dress. "I thought we were..."

"We were. But..."

He didn't know what to say. He was going to have to make up something, a lie that would stop her from doing it again.

"But I'm seeing Rebecca," he blurted, much to his own surprise. She felt her breath catch, and she sealed her lips.

It didn't take Norma much time to put two and two together - all the times she had seen Rebecca with dishevelled hair, all those times Rebecca had told her what she had done, it was all with Alex. Norma suddenly felt stupid for not realising it sooner, for not seeing it at all. How could she have not? It should have been obvious from the beginning. Rebecca had always talked to Alex as though they shared a secret, and Norma should have known better.

"Oh." She paused. "Romantically?" She didn't want to say _sexually_.

"Yeah."

There was silence, and he swore he had no idea what she was thinking.

"Norma-"

"No, no. It's... _wow_. I should've guessed," she said. She gave a hollow laugh, just out of the ridiculous of it all. She felt the heat rise to her cheeks and, coupled with the little bit of wine she just had, was sure she looked very pink. She had managed to embarrass herself in front of him again, this time on such a macro level that she didn't know if she could ever recover from it.

"No, I should've told you," he said solemnly, fidgeting with his fingers.

"Then why did you say yes? To coming over?" she pressed on. She wanted him to be uncomfortable too, just to take the pressure off of herself, and it was working. He got up and appeared flustered, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"I don't know."

She nodded. "Well, I guess you'd better go," she whispered. She just wanted him out of her apartment.

"I guess I'd better," he echoed quietly. He didn't want to leave her, not like this. Why did he have to lie and make up that whole thing about seeing Rebecca? _Romantically?_ But was it even a lie if he did sleep with her, and regularly too? Probably not.

So maybe he had told the truth after all, even though that was not how he would have liked for it to come out.

"I'll get your coat," she said firmly, getting up to the door. He followed. She handed him his coat and watched as he put it on. The silence between them was deafening.

"Look, I didn't say yes to coming over because I thought I would get something from you," he said honestly. She didn't answer, just crossed her arms in front of her and looked at him like she was gazing at some distant object, and he knew she wanted him to go. "I'm sorry. Good night, Norma."

"Good night," she mumbled, and he walked out, leaving her standing on the cold hardwood panels in the middle of her living room. In the moment, she felt terribly, terribly lonely.

* * *

Jane and Alex met up by the harbour. This time, they were standing five feet apart, and she had come in a bucket hat and a basket of worms as bait. She was standing behind the rails with her fishing rod, which she dipped into the water that was smashing against the pier with ferocious intensity. He didn't question her.

"Rebecca is the person we want," she said without looking at him.

"Got it." He was in his jogging gear with one earphone in, and he looked straight ahead. He wasn't playing any music, though.

"And I shouldn't have to keep reminding you," she said, "but you need to sort your shit out with Norma Bates."

"I did," grunted Alex. "There's nothing between us now."

He had said this regretfully. Jane had either been oblivious to that, or she had picked up on his tone and just didn't bother to comment.

She felt the line wobble slightly and she wondered if she had caught a fish. She reeled her line back in but there was nothing, and the worm had been eaten.

"How about Zack Shelby?" she asked, examining the empty hook. She picked out a new worm and pierced the sharp metal through its little quivering body, and then she tossed the line back into the water.

"What about him?"

"He's close with Rebecca, and that interests me. Get a line on him."

"That's where I draw the line," said Alex. "I want nothing to do with Shelby."

Jane chuckled darkly. "You seemed to have forgotten that you work for me."

"I haven't. I just don't care for him, that's all."

Alex peered over at her and saw the end of the rod shaking uncontrollably. He watched as she expertly reeled the line in again. This time, as she lifted it out of the water, he witnessed she had caught a fish. It flip-flopped in the air, directionless and in a panic, and Jane had to be careful not to lose her grip on the fishing rod.

"Nice catch," he said.

She removed the fish from the hook carefully and tossed it into a plastic bucket that had been resting by her feet.

"Thanks. And I want to be able to say the same to you," she said. There's a pause, and then she added, "so get to it, okay? We've not got a lot of time on our hands, Alex. We need Zack."

* * *

Alex didn't dare to approach Norma after the incident at her apartment. He had been worried about her reaction and about having to deal with the aftermath. Besides, he had a lot on his plate already. He had to grade student quizzes sometime in the week and supervise an after-school detention slot. He was not mentally prepared for their conversation.

So it came as both a relief and a regret for Alex to learn that Norma hadn't been a rush to talk to him either. To make things worse, now that he had made so abundantly clear the idea that he was not interested in her, she seemed to have taken the hint right away and moved on.

It didn't take more than a few days before Alex heard from a group of students in the hallway discuss Norma dating Zack.

"They're definitely together," one of them had said with an air of confidence. "I've seen them."

"They _have_ to be," another said. "They complement each other so well."

"I think she's better off alone," a third voice chimed in.

"No!" exclaimed the first two in unison.

Alex knew they were buzzing with excitement because Zack and Norma were both well-liked teachers in the school, and the fact that they were both young and attractive gave the news a huge bump-up.

So she had finally taken him up on his offer, thought Alex. It made sense. Alex hated to admit it, but he thought Zack had some pretty decent qualities about himself. At least he was able to make her happy, which was always the most important thing, wasn't it? Appearances aside, if somebody couldn't make you so deliriously happy to the point of radiance, then what was the point?

Alex knew he didn't have the right to be angry at Norma. If anything, she should be the one angry at him for leading her on and turning her down like that. But he still felt cheated somehow, knowing he had fabricated whatever was between himself and Rebecca. Speaking of which, thought Alex, he'd better inform Rebecca of his own new relationship with her soon, before Norma had the chance to talk to Rebecca about it. Now _that_ would be an unpleasant conversation.

As for Norma and what she thought about dating Zack, the straightforward answer was that she did not. Sure he made her feel good about herself. He had everything that was wonderful - his adoration and presence. Yet most of the time, he didn't evoke in her anything more than a bland smile, one that always made its way onto her face only to get him to stop talking.

Maybe it was not the _best_ relationship, and maybe it was even a bit of a terrible idea. Norma realised those two things. But she did have to move on from Alex somehow, didn't she? And what better way to do that than to date someone else, so she could invest all her energy into this new thing and forget about the old?

* * *

 **AN: Norma Bates: reigning queen of very, very bad, terrible, awful, absolutely no-good, recipe-for-disaster ideas. But it gives her character, right?**


	8. Something To Write About

**AN: Thank you so much for all your reviews! They're so kind and make me smile so much, just like in a really warm way haha. I do realise how ponderous I'm being and I vow to crack on... despite what this chapter's word count may suggest. Again.**

* * *

Alex thought it would be easy seeing Norma and Zack together, but he was terribly mistaken.

On Monday morning, he saw Norma walking towards the hall for morning assembly and felt obligated to say hi somehow. They were not as awkward now, and he had her to thank for it. After she started dating Zack, she had snapped back to her old self. Maybe it was easier for her, he thought, knowing there was nothing going on between the two of them, and that nothing would happen either. Their tension dissipated naturally, and even though Alex hated it when it was there, he thought he missed it now.

People always wanted what they couldn't have, didn't they? Maybe so.

He was going to walk over to ask her how her weekend had been; he knew she had gone up to The Patch with Zack yesterday because Zack had told Rebecca about it, and Rebecca had told him over dinner. News _did_ travel fast.

Alex was interrupted when he saw Zack appear out of nowhere, catching up to Norma. Her face lit up when she saw him, and he offered to carry her books, but she politely declined. Alex was walking a couple of feet behind them, and she had not noticed him at all because she was too preoccupied with talking to Zack. The corridor was not as busy as it usually was, and Alex managed to hear snippets of their conversation - the book she had been reading, the night he had. He heard Zack call her adorable, which made him feel nauseous.

Alex had the sudden urge to tell Zack that he had kissed Norma. Or rather, she had kissed him first, and then he had kissed her back. He wondered how that would make Zack feel, and for a split second, he almost didn't care. It couldn't be half of the pain he felt now, and he felt better knowing he had the power to break them up. He thought about this, and decided to wait for the urge to pass instead of acting on it.

It was because of how it would make _her_ feel.

They were happy enough now, weren't they, Zack and Norma? Alex didn't think they were a match made in heaven by any stretch, but they were happy as they were, so why was he even thinking about going over and ruining everything? She would hate him.

It wasn't fair, thought Alex. A relationship wasn't about _having_ someone physically, and he'd never think of it that way. He just thought that if he could have done it, he would have had her heart. It would have been him striding next to her right now, and it would have been him calling her adorable. And she would look at _him_ and crinkle her nose at the compliment, which she had just done with Zack.

On a logical level, Alex thought he had understood it. He thought he had prepared himself for whatever was going to come his way by working under Jane. But now that it was really happening, he wasn't sure he was up to the task.

Seeing Norma with Zack, seeing her smile at him like that, there was nothing Alex to do but avert his eyes and ride it out.

* * *

Rebecca saw Norma walking back from class at the end of the day and waved. Norma waved back, and Rebecca hurried to her, her black stiletto heels tapping against the uneven concrete.

"Norma!" she called out with a big smile on her face. Rebecca was happy to see her, and Norma thought that was nice. When Rebecca drew near, she felt a pinching feeling in her throat. Rebecca's rosy complexion made her radiant, and Norma could tell she was a happy woman with Alex, which had accounted for her nervousness. She didn't know if Alex had told her about what had happened.

"Hey," said Norma, maintaining a pleasant smile. She had wanted to hate Rebecca because she was jealous, but it was difficult. They _were_ friends after all. And seeing her like that, in person, Norma realised she had no room in her heart for it. Besides, it wasn't like it was Rebecca's fault that Alex had chosen her. Maybe Norma didn't understand it, but it wasn't her relationship; she didn't have to.

"Where are you going?" Rebecca asked, holding Norma by the forearm lightly to steady herself, and then letting go. She ran her fingers through her hair once, combing it through it casually.

"The staffroom," replied Norma, cradling her books in her hand.

"Oh, good. We're heading the same way," said Rebecca. And then there was a knowing look on her face. "I heard you're dating Zack."

Norma nodded. She suddenly felt shy.

"That's really great. I have to say, I'm a little offended I had to hear it from _him_. We're girlfriends!" she said, cracking a grin. She was in a good mood, and there was an easygoing tone about her voice.

"I'm sorry," said Norma, smiling too, this time naturally. "Yeah, I guess it's true. We're... _dating_ , you can say."

The word made her feel lopsided, almost like it wasn't real.

Norma didn't know how to tell Rebecca this, but Zack was one of the few people she had _dated_ in her life, in the noblest and most honest sense of the word. It was true that she was no stranger to men. She had been with a couple in the past, and in addition to her mess of a childhood, she had always known about the violent tendencies they exhibited towards her, whether those men came in the form of abusive family, lovers who couldn't take 'no' for an answer, or complete strangers who felt the need to wolf whistle at her on the street.

Men seemed to love Norma for her femininity, and this realisation never stopped hitting her at odd times. It was degrading when they regarded her as a pretty face and nothing more than that, but it made her feel better knowing she could get things out of it. She learnt that she could use her feminine wiles to her advantage, and her whole world had changed. She knew it wasn't a healthy coping mechanism, but it had stopped making her feel powerless, so she kept going.

It was a bit like she was seeking revenge on these men, or men in general. She felt like the victim and the villain at the same time, and it was a weird, intoxicating feeling. So maybe she _did_ have self-destructive tendencies and urgent issues that needed resolving, as much as she wished to admit that she did not.

She was a little disappointed it hadn't worked with Alex, but it had worked with Zack. And Zack was respectful, kind, funny... and there was nothing wrong with him at all, which only made her feel uneasy. She wasn't used to men like him. She didn't think they existed in the first place. She didn't feel vindictive towards him, and she almost didn't want to ever.

"I'm really happy for you," said Rebecca warmly, jolting Norma back to the present.

"Thanks," responded Norma. "And I heard you're seeing Alex." Saying his name made her wince, but Rebecca didn't see it. "So that's... that's really nice, too." Norma didn't know what else she could add to it.

They walked down the hallway, past a group of bustling teenagers.

"Yeah," said Rebecca, nodding. "I was actually just going to get him," she said. "We're seeing a movie tonight."

"He's such a workaholic," commented Norma automatically. "I'm both glad and surprised you were able to get him to leave his desk."

Rebecca laughed and swiped her card across the scanner. She held the door open for Norma and Norma thanked her.

"Me too. I'll see you later," said Rebecca.

"Have fun!" Norma called out a little too forcefully. Rebecca smiled, taking no notice, and they parted ways.

Taking off her scarf, Norma stood in front of her desk and watched from the corner of her eye as Rebecca made her way towards Alex's cubicle. Norma presumed Alex was sitting down working, and she saw Rebecca lean her head down to talk to him. A moment later, she heard the faint sound of Alex's laughter, a reaction to something Rebecca had said.

Norma hung her scarf on the back of her chair and sighed. She knew they weren't doing this on purpose, but did they _have_ to rub it in her face like that?

* * *

Norma was on detention duty again. She didn't know why she had such frequent shifts; maybe some teacher had put her name in there a couple more times just to get out of doing it themselves. She didn't know, but she did think that if she had had her way with the schedule, she would probably have done the same.

Tom Campbell was the first to arrive, minutes after the last bell rang. He strolled in with a glum look on his face, uninspired from another day of gruelling, brainless work. He was in detention again because he had skipped most of his lessons last week.

The door banged shut, and Norma looked up at him from the teacher's desk at the front of the room and smiled. She recognised him almost immediately, as the student in one of her classes and the kid Alex had always described as 'a work in progress'. Tom had a rebellious streak, but he really had a good heart.

She thought he would take a seat at the very back, but he surprised her by sitting in the front row, just a few feet from her. He slammed his backpack against the desk and slumped into the chair. He put his hands in his jacket pockets, and he looked at Norma while she busied herself with grading essays.

"Ms. Bates."

Norma looked up. "Yes?" Her pen hovered over the piece of paper.

"Why do I always end up here?"

She paused. "Well... you did something wrong," she explained slowly. She felt stupid saying it, but her mind was tired from the day.

"I know. But it's kind of silly, isn't it?"

"What is?" she asked. "This?"

Tom nodded. "All because I skipped a couple of classes. Yet... you know, my friends are off to smoke pot, and they're not in any trouble whatsoever."

She put the cap onto her pen and dropped it. Now she was paying attention. "You know about this?"

He shifted uncomfortably now that he had gotten her undivided attention. "Well, yeah."

Norma tightened her lips. She didn't know how she should approach this.

"What do you know about it?" she asked cautiously.

She leaned forward, and Tom looked into her bright blue eyes. _They really were piercing_ , he thought. All this time, he had had a crush on her. It wasn't anything serious, and he certainly was not going to act on it. He had heard that she was dating Zack Shelby, the Physics teacher. And even though he wasn't in any of Shelby's classes, Tom knew he was a charismatic guy; a lot of girls in his class had taken a fancy to him in the most juvenile way, and they giggled like the schoolgirls that they were whenever he walked by.

"I'm not sure I can tell you that much. You'd just think I'm a bad kid."

"You know I don't think that."

"Maybe _you_ don't," he corrected himself. "But the rest of them sure as hell do."

"The rest of them?"

"The other teachers. My parents. _Adults_." The boy shuddered at the word. "You're probably the only person over twenty-five I can stand," he confessed.

Norma weighed her options then. Was she going to prod into this? She knew teenagers were particularly volatile, and she didn't want to exploit his trust in her. Yet, she was curious.

In the meantime, Tom took her silence as understanding.

"It's not a secret that there's been something going on," he said nonchalantly. "My friends are all getting high on weekends, and it's bad. I know I shouldn't be saying this, considering my dad's involvement in this town and all, but-" he paused suddenly. He wondered if he had said too much.

Tom looked at her concerned face and felt insane for wanting to kiss her. That was so clearly wrong, he couldn't possibly do it. He shouldn't even be thinking about it. _But she couldn't be over thirty_ , _could she?_ And he was nearly eighteen, he thought. It wasn't _that_ big of a gap between the two of them. He could be more mature than he really was. He was so infatuated with her that he could be anything she wanted him to be...

"But?"

Her voice interrupted his daydream.

"But..." he started, trying to figure out where he had trailed off. He remembered. "He's really kind of responsible for it, my dad. However indirectly. He just works so much, and everyone knows you don't have _that_ much work in such a small town. There are like, what, ten thousand people here? Less than that, probably. He's just cooped up in his office all day talking to these people I've never met before, and then he tells me never to get involved in drugs because they'll destroy my brain, but he's fine with letting all my friends have a go."

Norma didn't know what to say, but he wasn't done speaking. "I know he loves me and cares for me and all that sentimental crap, but it feels... wrong, you know?" He shrugged. "But I guess it's not all bad. He thinks I don't know anything, but I know there's money coming in," he said. He gestured at his brand new basketball shoes. "He got me these last month."

Norma peered at them. She couldn't _possibly_ milk the situation.

"I'm not sure I should be hearing this," she said finally, and Tom looked discouraged.

"No. You're right," he said. "I'm... I kind of thought you always said we could tell you anything."

"Well, that's true, but you see..." she said. Now she had to select her words very carefully. "I meant..." _I meant small things,_ she thought, _like what you did over the weekend, or your favourite TV show. N_ _ot about your father dealing drugs._ She didn't say it aloud.

"Listen, it doesn't matter," said Tom, somewhat embarrassed. "Don't tell anyone about it, please? I just needed to let it out because... I guess I was just pissed off my dad spends so much time at work. He was supposed to come to this dinner with my mum and I last night, and he just... he didn't show. And that really upset her."

Norma let out an exhale. "I'm sorry about that," she said.

"It's not your fault. Besides..."

Tom leaned in as though he was about to tell her more, but then the door swung open and a couple more students piled in. He pulled back immediately as though he had been caught red-handed. He shot her a quick, nervous smile, and she knew the discussion was over.

* * *

"Hey," said Alex. He had bumped into Norma in the parking lot. She was just about to unlock her car, and although he had been dying to speak to her all day, it was a little different when he finally saw her. He suddenly felt as though he had forgotten everything in his mind.

"Oh, hi," said Norma. She was tired but happy, and that made him feel a bit better.

"How was your day?" he asked, walking a little closer to her. Nothing was going to happen between them. Nothing _could_ happen; they were in an open space right in front of the school.

"Good," she said, smiling at him while she fidgeted with her car keys. "You?"

"Good, good," he said slowly.

"Right," she said. "I was just going home. It's nice that you're doing well," she said. She was about to walk away but she stopped in her tracks. "I guess... we haven't seen each other much lately, have we?" She was tapping her heel against the ground slowly; she couldn't stand still.

"No, we haven't." He wanted to tell her he missed her, but it would just complicate things.

She checked her watch with a flick of her wrist and he watched as the keys in her hand jostled against each other. "I don't mean to be rude, but it's nearly five. I have to get home and take a shower because I have plans tonight."

"With Zack?" asked Alex reflexively. He paused. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pry, I just-"

"-yeah, that's okay-"

"-because Rebecca told me-"

"-I see-"

"-and I've just discovered you've been seeing him-"

"-yes, and you've been seeing Rebecca-"

"-that's right-"

"-but _yes_ , I'm going out with Zack tonight-"

"-oh, that's good, good for you."

Their words came out in a slippery jumble and came crashing like a waterfall until the two of them suddenly stopped and stood in silence.

"I'm happy for you, Alex," said Norma finally. She pulled herself together and gave him a smile. "I am, and for Rebecca too. All things considered."

"Thanks. That means a lot," he lied.

She saw he looked worried, and she reached out to put her hand on the side of his head. She placed her thumb onto his forehead, just above his eyebrow, in a gentle attempt to smoothen out his frown. That startled him a little, and she laughed. "Lighten up. You're going to drive her away with that sour face of yours... and you've only just begun," she added quietly.

It was a tender moment, and then she realised what she was doing and she dropped her hand immediately. She felt like she was betraying Rebecca's friendship, and she had to remind herself to not do it again in the future. Just to keep her hands off of him entirely, she thought.

"Alright," said Norma, clearing her throat. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," he said, watching her intently as she walked away.

"I meant Monday!" she called out when she was about ten feet from him.

"No, yeah. Monday," he said quietly to himself, because she had already gotten inside her car. "See you on Monday," he muttered as he turned around to get into his.

* * *

The doorbell rang and Alex got up to answer it. When he pulled open the giant wooden door, he saw that it was Jane.

"Hi, Alex."

He let her in without a word, and double-locked the door.

"Aren't you going to offer me a glass of water?" she asked. She walked around his living room, inspecting his furniture. He felt exposed when she did it; he knew she would be making a mental note of everything.

"Well," said Alex. He put his hands on his hips. "Would you like a glass of water?"

"No thank you, I'm not thirsty."

"You're a character," he told her, and she agreed.

She settled onto one of the chairs that had been tucked into his dining table. She shifted a little, trying to find a comfortable spot, before giving up and fishing out everything she had been keeping in her coat pocket. She placed them onto the table.

"You bring that thing around with you all the time?" he asked.

She held up the badge. "It's my identification as Captain at the Portland Police Bureau. I think I have to."

He rolled his eyes. "I meant the gun."

"Only sometimes," she said, eyeing it casually, "when I go into strange men's homes."

"Listen, I don't mean to be forward, but what are you doing here?" he asked. "It's got to be a two-hour drive for you."

Something in her countenance shifted, and she sat up a little straighter. She suddenly looked more solemn, and he knew they were past small talk.

"I'm here about the drug case, Romero. New developments. There's something going on with Rebecca, and it appears to be something important. There are a couple more people involved. Here..." she took out a little sheet with a spider diagram on it; it featured some faces that Alex was familiar with, which surprised and angered him.

Jane shot him a knowing look. "No, I didn't they would be on it either."

"It's outrageous," he said. She folded the sheet up and put it in her back pocket. "Surely you can't get all of them. That's... that's not good."

"I'm not," she said. "But I'm going to get these main ones. The distributors, the dealers... you know the lot."

Alex nodded, perplexed.

"Your reports are detailed," said Jane, moving on. "I just need to know more about what you're doing with Rebecca."

"We're dating - I'm playing it like you asked me to."

She looked at him. "I didn't ask you to do that."

"Come on," said Alex indignantly. "Rebecca's an insanely private person..."

"Then I suppose you've done the right thing," replied Jane coolly.

It bothered him when she said that. The 'right' thing? What was the right thing to do in a situation like this? He supposed it would be to never start anything with her at all, so he wouldn't have to break her heart in the end. _That_ was the right thing. The way Jane had said it made him feel cheap, like the human heart was expendable.

"Maybe," he said dumbly. "There was only one way for me to really get to know her," he added, and that was a statement he needed to say out loud for himself to hear, if only to justify his actions.

But Jane shook her head.

"Romero, my understanding had been that dating was _one_ way. Out of many. I just thought you had chosen that route because you thought-"

Alex's stomach dropped. "What?"

"You could've been good friends," reminded Jane. She clicked her tongue in disdain. "What _is_ with you men? Do friendships with women just not exist in your worlds?"

She carried on speaking but he couldn't hear a word. He had just gone on out on a limb and thought he had made things easier by doing so, but had he really?

"Anyway... if you're going to be dating her, make it real."

Alex looked at her blankly. "I am."

"Are you? I'm not part of this relationship and I can feel something awry."

He furrowed his brows. "What do you want me to do?"

She shrugged. "Figure it out."

There was silence, and Alex felt his head buzzing from frustration. _Figure this out?_ What the hell kind of advice was that, coupled with all the vague ones he had been receiving for months? Those indistinct scraps of advice had gotten him into this mess, and they were not going to get him out. _Now_ he was annoyed.

"If you were truly in love with someone," Jane was saying now, "like you're pretending to be with Rebecca, you would be smitten. Your actions would reflect it. And... they _do_. Just on the wrong person."

Alex looked at her in disbelief as she got up and swiped all her belongings into her coat pocket.

"Please," she said. "It's beyond obvious at this point, the way your entire face changes at the thought of Norma Bates. You should be ashamed of your transparency." She meant to reprimand him, but her features softened. She had always looked out for him, even if she didn't care to show her concern.

"Look," she continued. "It's you and me in this investigation. So I'm going to let you do whatever you want, as long as it's within the bounds and gets the job done at the end of the day."

"I'm not going to be a two-timer," said Alex immediately. His throat was dry, and he had only managed to croak the words out. He didn't mention the part about Norma dating Zack; he didn't need to. He had a feeling Jane already knew that. She seemed to have eyes and ears on all corners of White Pine Bay, which meant there was no point in lying about anything.

"What? I'm not suggesting you do that," said Jane. She eyed him peculiarly and let out a huff. "Ugh. _Men,_ am I right?"

Alex couldn't help but smile at her reaction.

"You don't have to be so repulsed all the time," he said. "Aside from copious fatal flaws, we're pretty great."

She let out a short, crisp laugh. When she spoke next, her voice didn't waver.

"I'm a lesbian, Romero."

Alex shrugged. "Okay, fair enough. Sorry."

"Seriously," she said, tucking his chair back in. She was about to get going. "If it helps, write about your feelings for her too. That's what I had wanted to say: you can write whatever you want to in your reports. I'm the only person reading it for now. It'd be helpful to know how you're getting along with everyone."

Alex nodded, and they came to an agreement. He walked her out to the door and told her to drive safe.

When he was alone again, he sat down at his desk, unlocked the first drawer of his desk, and took out his notepad. Jane's idea would serve him well. He did need an outlet from time to time, if just to blow off some steam. If he kept it all pent up, he would implode, and then explode, and he didn't want that.

He picked up a pen and began to write. He had a lot on his mind tonight, and words poured out of him like liquid gold.


	9. Snoopers

**AN: Happy Friday!**

* * *

Alex found it thoroughly therapeutic, writing his feelings down in his reports as Jane had suggested.

The two of them, Alex and Jane, met up occasionally, and each time was more pleasant than the last. They had leads. They had names. Progress was rapid, and Alex became more and more aware of the underbelly of White Pine Bay. With newfound clarity, he had also become more determined.

"You can tell Norma how you feel when this whole thing is over," Jane said sympathetically one afternoon.

She had just informed Alex that at the rate they were going, they would be able to arrest people by New Years. That was in a few weeks' time. _Wasn't that great?_ she had added in an attempt to cheer him up. She couldn't help it, even if it wasn't the most professional thing to say. He had been so down in the dumps and hadn't even bothered to hide it, and that was how Jane knew he was serious about Norma.

"I don't think I can wait this long," Alex admitted. "You read what I wrote. I don't want to be soppy. It's not a good look on me, but..." _But sometimes you just had to be mawkish, if only for a few select moments in your life_ , he thought, but didn't say.

"It's not soppy if it's how you feel," she reassured him. "In the meantime, friendship isn't the worst option in the world."

He could only nod and agree. It was better than nothing.

* * *

Alex had been spending a lot of time at Rebecca's. And he was on better terms with Zack too, which was easy once he started putting in effort. Alex still hated the fact that Zack was dating Norma, because there was something charged about Zack that Alex could never figure out.

Alex didn't think anybody could be in such good a mood all the time. He knew he was cynical, but he always felt that there was always an arrière-pensée in Zack - an _ulterior motive_ , so to speak - that was tucked safely away, but that threatened to come out when provoked.

Rebecca was never suspicious when Alex stayed over. He used to do it often enough when they were just hooking up for fun, and she had expected him to come over even more now that they were a thing. Sometimes he stayed overnight, though their mornings were always a little uncomfortable; she always seemed surprised to see that he was still there next to her, as though she had forgotten about him after a night's sleep.

Alex was careful not to get caught when he snuck around her place when the lights were off. He knew Rebecca was a light sleeper, and he didn't want to cause a ruckus. He was almost caught one time, when she had gotten up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and found the other side of the bed empty. She had seen the dent on the mattress, and the duvet had been flipped out sideways.

She found him in the living room then, reading a book in the dim light of a lamp he had switched on. He had his feet up on the sofa and seemed engrossed.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked him as she leaned against the doorframe. Her lean physique casted a shadow behind her, and he thought she looked a little intimidating, even though she was really just tired and hadn't bothered to take the extra few steps to sit down next to him.

"No."

He looked up with a reassuring smile, and held up his battered copy of "The Romanovs". It made her smile. She knew that book; she had seen him read it so many times. It seemed to be his most valued possession, and the cover was limp and threatened to fall apart at any moment. A couple of days down the line, she would pick out a plastic book jacket for him so he could reread it at ease. But for now, the half light shrouded her into lethargy.

"Alright, I'm going to head back to bed," she said, stretching a little.

"Okay," he nodded. "Good night."

"Night," she said, and before she had walked back to the hallway, she looked at him. "Don't stay up too late."

Then she disappeared from the doorway and he could only let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't been reading it; he had just found it on the coffee table and picked it up when he heard the shuffle of her footsteps coming towards him. That was close.

The other nights Alex spent creeping around were much easier. Rebecca seemed to have gotten used to his absence when she sometimes jolted awake in the middle of the night; she just attributed it to him reading on the sofa, and she would fall asleep again without a second thought.

It didn't take more than ten days for Alex to creep into Rebecca's study. He had scanned each and every other room, even the irrelevant ones like the kitchen and the little store room at the end of the corridor. He hadn't expected to find anything in those places, and he didn't. But her study - now that could be very helpful.

He felt terrible knowing Rebecca cared for him, and worse that he had to keep lying to keep up his act.

Alex tugged at the set of drawers on a cupboard by the bookshelves, but found that it was locked. He let out an internal groan. He should've known that would've been the case. Nobody was stupid enough to leave important documents lying around, especially not Rebecca. She was one of the most meticulous people he had ever met, and he had known a scrupulous bunch of colleagues from his time at his old precinct, way before he had agreed to all of this madness.

So he had not managed to get to Rebecca's physical documents. But there was still her laptop, wasn't there?

Jane had given him a USB, one he was holding now, that allowed him to overwrite or copy Rebecca's files. He turned it on hastily and panicked slightly when the little machine roared to life. He hoped it wouldn't wake her up. There was a login screen, and a password he didn't know of, but he figured it out easily when the security questions popped up. Rebecca grew up in Garden Grove, California. Father a real estate agent, mother a homemaker. Easy, easy, easy.

Within fifteen minutes, Alex had gotten the files he needed and he was sound asleep in bed next to Rebecca again, while the USB rested securely inside the front pocket of his coat that hung on a coat rack three doors down.

* * *

"Is this seat free?"

Alex was sitting in a bustling café in the middle of the town. He looked up and saw that it was Jane with a sandwich she was nearly done with. He nodded and removed his jacket from the chair opposite him.

"Nice day out," she said when she had settled down. She lowered her head and her voice. "You have a napkin?" She ate the last bite of the bread.

"Sure."

Alex slipped her the USB enclosed in a napkin. She took it and wiped her mouth with it, and slid it inside her coat.

"I'm only telling you this because you asked," she said quietly. She really didn't need to, the café was busy enough. Nobody was paying any attention to the two of them; they could hardly focus on their own conversations with the noise level so high. "I found the people who broke into Norma's apartment."

"What?"

Alex couldn't hide his disbelief. He frowned, and Jane looked out of the window next to their table. She squinted slightly at the direct sunlight.

"Fingerprints. They're just petty criminals."

"How did you-"

"I have my ways."

Alex didn't question that.

"They work for Roger Campbell," continued Jane. "He must've figured out she was up to something."

"Maybe, but he couldn't have done this. I know that guy. He wouldn't hurt a cat, for God's sake."

"A cat's not trying to send him to jail."

"He just wouldn't," said Alex, shaking his head.

"Well, he didn't really hurt her," she said, and made a moue. She had expected Alex to be more restrained.

"But he will."

"So you'd better keep an eye on the both of them."

Jane gathered her things and walked off without a word. Alex wanted to say something, but then realised strangers in cafés didn't say goodbye to each other.

* * *

"Hey, I have something to tell you."

Alex's heart must have skipped a beat when Norma said that. He pulled out an unlit cigarette and patted his coat pockets, searching for a lighter.

"Oh yeah?" he asked, his mouth slightly lopsided from holding the cigarette.

"Yes," she said, shooting him a funny smile at his alertness. She didn't know what he was thinking, but she would like to. "I think you should quit smoking," she said suddenly.

Alex raised an eyebrow. It was not what he had been expecting at all. To be frank, he didn't know _what_ he was expecting. For her to confess her undying love for him and then pledge her honour forever? He didn't think so, and nearly scoffed at the idea in his head. Norma saw the change in his countenance and pulled a face.

"What's so funny about that?" she asked. "Or weird. Or... whatever it is you're thinking."

"Nothing-" he started, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth. He glanced at it, and then back at her. "It's just... never mind." He pulled himself together and declared, "it's difficult, that's all."

"But you _really_ shouldn't be smoking," she said, and now she was eyeing the cigarette too. She sat down next to him on a bench by the football field, and crossed one of her legs over the other, adjusting her purple swing dress a little. "It's just... I hope you don't mind me saying this, being blunt like this, but it's going to kill you."

"That's a nice thing to say."

She pointed at his pack of cigarettes. "These little sticks are murderers."

"Not necessarily. My grandfather smoked two cigarettes a day and he lived to... well, fifty-five, which isn't very impressive, really, but I suppose that's as decent as any age to croak-"

She slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Alex!"

He looked at her and smiled playfully. She was so caught up in her concern that she hadn't noticed how close they were sitting. It felt nice that she cared for him like that, and he was relishing in this special moment even though it might not mean much to her at all.

"Don't look at me like that," she snapped, but she wasn't angry. "I'm dead serious," she said despite her amused demeanour.

"I know you are."

"So won't you do that?" she asked. "Mind you, you're not doing this for me. You're doing this for yourself."

"And suddenly I'm a whole lot less motivated," he teased. He wondered if he had gone a little too far. He couldn't be here flirting with her, not when he was still technically dating Rebecca and trying extra hard to make it feel real.

Norma either failed to catch onto his advances, or ignored it completely. He let out a sigh of relief internally.

"You can't die at fifty-five! That's tomorrow," she said. He looked at her as though he was slightly offended, and she laughed at his reaction.

"Okay, okay," he said conclusively. "I'm not dying anytime soon. Don't you worry a thing about my mortality."

That settled it. He would try, he told her, but he had to give her a forewarning: old habits die hard. She said she understood. It was just better to try and fail than to never do it at all.

"And while you're here," said Alex. "I'd like to join your book club." This would make it easier to keep tabs on her, to make sure something like that break-in didn't happen again. He didn't care what Roger did in his spare time, he just needed to know what _she_ did. Mostly to make sure she was safe, and that she wasn't up to no good. _Then_ he could rest easy.

His request took her by surprise. She let out a pleasant, delighted _eek_. "Of course! I'm glad you've finally come around to it. I thought you might never ask."

"Well," he shrugged. "I thought you might never say yes."

"Don't be silly," she said. "We've just finished "This Side Of Paradise" and we're taking a break. But for the new semester, we'll be reading... _oh_ , what's that called again?" She had the book title on the tip of her tongue. "Hold on, I know it, I _do_ know it... it would be so terrible of me to forget..."

He smiled, watching her try to recall the title of the book. Her eyes floated heavenwards, and she had put her mouth to the side, almost like a little pout, but not quite. Sometimes, on good days, he observed, she was larger than life. She was so physical, and her magnetism seemed to liven everything up. Images were sharper, and colours around him seemed more intense.

"Nabokov's "Laughter in the Dark". _That's_ it," she declared, pleased with herself.

"Bit dark," he commented.

"Could've been "Lolita"."

"Fair enough. I'll go grab a copy from the library," said Alex. He cracked an easygoing smile.

"Don't bother," she said. "There are only two. I have one of them and Hannah Morgan has the other one." He looked confused, and she explained, "she's a girl in my class."

"Right. I'll get it from the bookshop then."

"Sold out," she said without missing a beat, and he wondered how she knew this stuff. All of it. But then again, how big was White Pine Books anyway? Five by five shelves, that was how big it was. "I'll tell you what," she proposed, "You can have mine. I'll finish it and drop by yours. How does the weekend sound?"

"You don't need to do that."

"I'm twenty pages to the end."

There was no way to say no, so he just nodded. "Okay. Thanks."

"Give me your address," she said. "And stop smoking; I mean it."

* * *

"You've been spending a lot of time with Alex lately," said Zack. It was said like a simple observation.

Norma kept quiet, and her fingers lingered on the edge of the magazine she was flipping through. She was reading on his sofa while he rearranged picture frames on his cupboard. That was the kind of man Zack was, thought Norma: neat. He was prim and proper, and it was such a nice touch that he always offered to do - and did - the dishes when they stayed in for dinner.

He had his back to her and she couldn't see what his face looked like.

"Yeah," she said. She was about to go on the defence, but that would just make it seem weird. Zack wasn't accusing her of anything. She carried on reading some piece on Winter fashion. Pea coats were back in style, apparently. She didn't think they would be. Oh, and dotted tights, too. And something else; she wasn't focusing now and her eyes were just glossing over the words.

Zack turned around and looked at her adoringly. She reread the last paragraph with concentration.

"Come on, I didn't mean it in that way," he said when he saw her frown a little.

"In what way?" She shifted a little to make room for him when he joined her on the sofa. He put an arm around her.

" _You know_ ," he said. "I wasn't suggesting anything."

"I know you weren't," she said. She closed the magazine and reached over to put it on the side table. Then she turned to him and smiled.

"Good," he said, giving her shoulder a little squeeze. He paused, and she took that as a moment to tease him.

"Why, are you jealous?"

"Well- _yes_ ," said Zack, and he sounded so earnest she felt bad. She thought they were doing a playful exchange where they would quip back and forth for a minute and be done with it, abandon ship to talk about something else. But his sincerity led the conversation elsewhere.

"Of course I'm jealous," he carried on. "Sometimes of Alex, because you're so close. I know he's dating Rebecca, and he's always had a soft spot for her," he rambled on. "Just... with _us_ ," he said, "I didn't expect it'd happen."

Norma almost laughed aloud. She thought about how Zack had been onto her since the first day, and found it amusing that he couldn't see that _he_ had surely planned it all along.

"But it's nice like this now," she said, and he had a sunnier disposition.

 _Instant mood enhancer,_ she thought. _A cup of flattery, just add water!_

"Yes, it's nice like this now," he repeated. "I'm just a bit in awe all the time, baby, of you. It feels like you could disappear."

"Zack," said Norma. "I'm not going to _disappear_."

"Okay."

He was satisfied and moved in closer. He was rubbing the tip of his nose against hers. She was tired and not in the mood, but would rather their conversation just ended, even if it was by the way of them taking their clothes off.

"But I still want to know," he said, drawing back slightly, whispering to her. "On that first day, when Alex walked in... did you ever think... maybe it could've been him? I saw the way you looked at him, and then the way he's been looking at you..."

She looked exasperated. "Maybe," she said. "But I guess I didn't," she added quickly, ignoring the last part of what he said.

"So if it had been me or him, you would choose me, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, I would choose you," she said, and gave him a warm smile. She had come to discover Zack was two years younger than she was, and even though it wasn't a big difference, their minds sometimes functioned on very different planes. He was a little needier than she would have expected or liked, but she thought there were probably things about her that annoyed him too, and if _he_ wasn't bringing it up, then she couldn't possibly.

"Oh, baby. You always make me feel so good," he said. "I think we should have some fun..."

She didn't say anything. She didn't have to.

She felt a rush of blood to the head when she leaned sideways and backwards into the couch while he climbed on top of her. He buried his face into her neck and unbuttoned his trousers slowly. She could feel him pressed against her and he hitched her dress up while he planted hot kisses into her collarbone.

"I'm so glad we're doing this," he murmured sloppily.

"Mhm..."

She was really just looking at the ceiling now, uninspired and unimpressed, while she made little demure purrs at intervals to show that she was engaged to keep him happy. There she was. Committing. She was a perfectionist; if she was going to put on a show, she was going to put on a damn good one at that, even if she was still thinking about the magazine article she had just read. What were those things again? A pea coat, dotted tights, and... and...

Zack nudged her limp arms; he wanted her to put them around him. She did, and then she closed her eyes.

For a second, Norma thought she smelled Alex's cologne, the one she had caught a whiff of that day she tripped and fell into his arms in the staff room. She opened one eye and saw the tuft of shiny blonde hair, attached to the head that was travelling down her chest. It was still Zack, as it had always been, and she closed her eye so she didn't have to be reminded of him for the next half hour.

The scent of Alex's cologne lingered, and she wondered if she was hallucinating it. It didn't matter; she was going along with it. It wasn't cheating if it was just in her head.

* * *

The doorbell rang once. Alex wondered if it was Norma dropping her book off as she had promised, and he suddenly felt a bit lighter. He had been alone all evening because Rebecca had gone away for the weekend. It was a girls trip, she had told him, with some of her best friends from college. He didn't know any of them, but he had seen her so painstakingly organising it to make sure it fit everybody's schedules in the days leading up to it.

Alex put on a jumper and shuffled down the hallway to answer the door.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey. Guess I found your house." It _was_ Norma, and his heart leapt a little. She peered at him, who seemed as though he was in a daze. "Sorry if you were in the middle of something - you look like you were."

"I wasn't," he lied. He had just been in his bedroom writing another report for Jane, but everything was secondary when it came to her, didn't she know that?

"It's just... here's the book," she said, fishing it out from her bag. She handed it over to him. She stood there awkwardly, and he suddenly realised she must be cold.

"Thanks. Would you like to come in?" he asked.

"I don't think so. I was just going."

"You've got plans?"

"No, but-"

"Rebecca isn't here," said Alex. He didn't know why he said that, but now he felt self-conscious.

"It's not that," said Norma quickly, embarrassed. Did he say that to let her know he was up for anything? Or did he just think she was not going to go into his house because of Rebecca? Either was absurd. She hoped he didn't think she was still holding out for him. "But I'm surprised."

"Don't be. We're not attached to the hip," he said. "Where's Zack?"

"Oh, he's in Jamestown for a while. Visiting his dad."

Alex nodded, and Norma suppressed a sneeze. She was shivering a little, and he almost had to beg her to come inside. She did eventually, and the flush of warm air made her feel very comfortable. She looked around, just peering from one corner of the living room.

"Go on, have a tour of the house if you like," he said, smiling. "I'm just going to clean up some dishes I've left in the sink. But you have a walk around."

Norma took him up on his offer. Her bag slung over her shoulder, she drifted from room to room, turning on the light momentarily just for a peek, and then off again when she was done. It was a simple place, nothing fancy about it. Maybe that was why he spent so much time at Rebecca's, she thought. It wasn't like he was leeching off her. But Rebecca's place really was something else. _She_ would be sleeping there too, if she could.

Norma reached his bedroom, where the light was on. She walked inside cautiously, almost as if not to disturb the peace. She bent down a little to look at the photos lined on the wall, and she smiled. She didn't think he was a sentimental person. They were photos from his childhood, with his parents, and there was one with a grandparent. They all looked very majestic, and seeing Alex as a child made her feel quite warm.

His desk was a far cry from Zack's, she thought when she approached it. It was much messier, with pieces of paper strewn all over. Pens threatened to roll off the surface, and she put them back into the pen holder for him. She reshuffled some sheets into a neat pile, but one did not fit the rest, and fell out of her grasp. It floated onto his carpet, and she walked over to retrieve it.

Norma turned it around and glanced at it briefly, wondering what kind of essays he had been assigning his students. But it wasn't an essay at all. In fact... she scanned the sheet quickly and saw her own name over and over.

 _What fresh hell was that?_

And then she read it. She read the whole report Alex had been writing for Jane. By the time she was done, her hands were shaking.

"Norma, I just realised there's something you might like to see."

She heard Alex's voice drift down the hallway, and she knew he was approaching. She wanted to put the report back onto his desk and pretend nothing had happened, but she was not sure she could. For starters, her legs wouldn't budge. And then her heart was racing so quickly she thought it might burst out of her chest. She felt as though she was momentarily paralysed.

Alex walked into the room with a smile on his face, which faded when he saw what she was holding in her hand. He knew she had read it. The book he was holding fell onto the carpet with a loud thud, and in his brain he reprimanded himself for being so careless. For a moment, all they could do was look at each other from opposite corners with bated breath.

Norma spoke first.

"Alex... what is this?" she asked nervously, her voice trembling.

He didn't know how to respond.

* * *

 **AN: I am so tired! I must stop writing in the dead of night. Thank you so much for reading, for taking your time out to review too! Stay safe, good night.**


	10. Down the Rabbit Hole

**AN: I'm baaack. Sorry for not uploading sooner! I was caught between classes and all the reading I had (and still have) to do, so I hadn't much time to sit myself down and write. Hope you like this chapter!**

* * *

Norma felt as though her whole world had been turned upside down.

"I can explain—" Alex began. He didn't care to pick up the book he had dropped, just stepped over it as he entered the room. "Just let me..." he edged towards her, and she backed off. He looked at the sheet in her hand and reconsidered his strategy. "Will you put that down first?"

Norma looked at it and put it behind her back. "No."

"Norma, I'm serious—"

"So am I," she mustered, her voice still shaky. "And you'd better start, because you have a _lot_ of explaining to do."

He knew she had meant it, and he stopped trying to negotiate. He now stood four feet from her and wanted nothing more than to run over and hold her, but he knew she would just push him away. She didn't want him any closer to her than where he was now; she was a little more afraid of him than she had ever been.

 _The thing with people,_ thought Norma, _was that you never really truly knew them_. She thought about her awakening with Zack and Rebecca - he had seemed so perfect, and she so wildly unattached - but then, as it turned out, he was not faultless after all, and she could be emotional too. If she had learned her lesson then, she wouldn't have to deal with this now.

This bothered Norma because it wasn't just some personality quirk in Alex that she had overlooked, but an entire segment of his life. It was ridiculous how well he had hidden it, and she felt stupid for having believed him at all. Once people started lying, they tended to lie about everything else, too. They had to, to cover up their previous lies. It was an addiction she knew all about, because she did it all the time. She just didn't think he would be too, even if she knew she was a hypocrite to be disappointed in him.

"You know what's going on," said Alex tentatively. He could still hardly believe this, and a part of him was holding on to the faint hope that it was all just a terrible misunderstanding. "But it's not like that. I'm still... _me_."

"Are you?" she asked doubtfully. She peered at him. She wanted to bring up what he had written about her and ask him if it was true, but his words sounded too ridiculous to be read aloud. All the flowery language, like he was Keats on narcotics. While his rejection had made her feel terrible, knowing the truth behind it had somehow managed to make her feel worse.

"Yes—"

"Is Alex even your real name?" she interrupted him. "Or have you constructed a whole fake persona, where you're— you're this Romanov-reading, tea-drinking, book-club-joining _loser_? And you're nothing like this in reality, not even close?"

Norma could feel herself losing it now, but it couldn't be helped. Somebody else try being in her shoes and see how _they'd_ take it.

"I am who I am! And Alex _is_ my real name," he stammered, deflated.

"Nice one," she said sarcastically, "whoever you really are." She shook her head and left the sheet on the foot of his bed. She didn't want to touch anything that was related to him. "I'm sorry I ever knew you."

"What? Norma, don't say that." He sounded hurt, but she chose not to hear it.

"Well, I just did."

"All I ever wanted to do was to protect you!" declared Alex suddenly, which caused Norma to retract a little. She was just beginning to feel bold, but that feeling was short-lived.

"Protect me from _what_?"

"Everything that's been going on!" he said, and it shocked her how he hadn't bothered to contain his voice. "This town's hideously corrupt. I don't want you snooping because I don't want you to get hurt. And I _have_ seen people get hurt! I'd rather it not be you."

She rolled her eyes in defiance. She closed the distance between them, and for a moment Alex wondered if she was going to kiss him again, but then he noticed the ferocity in her eyes and thought _perhaps not._

" _You_ —" she said through gritted teeth, jabbing a finger into his face. It caused him to stumble back in reflex, and she cornered him against the door frame. She looked as though she was about to go off on a rant, but something in her wavered and she suddenly felt very tired. She stared at him in contempt, before mumbling, "you exhaust me, do you know that?"

"I'm sorry," he mumbled. He remembered Jane, and he couldn't even think about how she would react. Best just to keep Norma quiet first. "Look, the most important thing is that you don't tell anyone about this. We're close now. We have names, we have leads. So if you'd just carry on like nothing's happened—"

" _Alex_ _._ " she said. She wished she could hit pause on the ever-revolving wheel of crazies life had decided to throw at her. "Don't even suggest that. I can't just go on with my life and act like everything's coming up _roses_ _—_ "

"I'm not saying—"

"Excuse me, I'm not finished," she snapped. Her heartbreak had suddenly turned into anger, and she was furious. "I can't go on pretending everything's fine, okay? Not with all of _that_ going on!" She gestured at the report vaguely.

"You're going to have to try."

"But what if I don't feel like it? What if all I really want to do right now," she said, "is scream so loud the whole town hears me—"

"—but you're not going to do that—"

"—oh, but what if I am?" she said maliciously, raising her voice. "In fact, I'm going to do it right now—" she said, and she let out one shrill and piercing scream. He rushed over to cover her mouth and she ducked away. He didn't get her, but she stopped screaming anyhow. She only did it to see if she could, and she could, so she shut up.

"What the hell was that?" he asked frantically. He sighed, rubbing his forehead. He couldn't believe _this_ was the woman he had fallen for, and that despite what they were arguing about right now, his feelings for her hadn't budged an inch. "You're a pretty fucking impossible person to deal with," he remarked.

"You're not so goddam tolerable yourself," she fired back, letting out a scoff.

There was a moment of silence, and then Norma lowered her head because the corner of her eyes had begun to well up, and she couldn't bear the shame of him witnessing her crying. She didn't want him to think her anger had subsided or that she was going to capitulate to him, because she was planning on neither.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and sniffled a little, and then she looked up at him again.

"I didn't mean to do that," she said.

"Do what?"

"Cry. Like some weak-willed woman."

"I don't think you are. I think... oh, just come here, won't you?" he said, extending his arms out a little. "We'll figure this out." He walked towards her, but she shied away from him.

She let out a small hiccup. "No, don't touch me."

"Norma—"

"I said don't you touch me."

He obeyed, but there was a hint of resentment in his voice when he next spoke. "You know, if you find me so repulsive, why did you even call me that night?"

Norma shrugged in a blasé manner. "You were the first person who came to my head."

"Why?"

Alex didn't relent. He knew it was unfair of him to make her admit right now that she _did_ like him. But he knew she had it in her, and if it meant taking an awful amount of digging and scratching and searching to get to that, then so be it.

She knew what he was doing. And he was, although a whole lot guilty, also a little pleased with himself.

"Fine. You were the one person I trusted," said Norma. "I'm..." she began, and she could feel herself tearing up again. She bit her lip. "I told you. You make me feel safe, that's all. And I don't really feel that with most people." She looked at him and his stomach dropped.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "I'm sorry. Why do we always end up like this?"

His words were said in earnest.

Alex had observed how dysfunctional they were when they were alone together, as if they could never quite settle on one mood for one time. They always fluctuated with uncertainty, and their emotions came in undulated waves nobody could predict. Every interaction between them was met with bated breath, and it was surely exhausting to keep living like that, but neither would admit defeat either. He wondered if she felt all of that as well.

"I don't know," she said softly. She could sense the atmosphere changing, and it made her afraid. She knew that if they kept going, all of that cloying mush of emotions would spill out, and she was afraid to have that. She had to leave before it happened.

She picked up her scarf and wrapped it around her neck. "I guess I'm just tired. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Just— just forget it. I know I am, so don't you worry. I'm going to forget it, and I'm going to leave now," she said, adjusting the strap of her tote bag before laying it on her shoulder again.

"Where are you going?" Alex asked frantically. They hadn't really settled on any concrete conclusion, and he was scared of letting her go out with all of that information in her head.

"Home," she said, and shot him a glance. "Please don't follow me."

Alex didn't. He watched her slip out of the room wordlessly. There was a slam of the front door, and he knew she was gone.

* * *

It took less than two hours for Alex to meet Jane at a petrol station along the highway. It was the halfway point for the two of them, and a place so relatively unknown that they wouldn't run the risk of being spotted. The sun had begun to set earlier due to the change of seasons, and on the drive here, Alex was reminded once again of his hatred of overly bright headlights.

"She did _what_?" Jane had exclaimed the moment he had told her what had happened. "I'm sorry—" she interjected. "You're telling me she read the entire report because you had just left it on your desk?"

"Not _exactly_ ," Alex explained. "I didn't know she was going to show up at my house. I mean, I knew she had to give me that book. I knew that part. What I didn't know was that it was going to be that moment. It's bad timing."

"And careless behaviour," she added, and he nodded. He wasn't going to shrink away from this blunder. He had messed up, and she had the right to criticise him. She let out a loud exhale. "Romero, what the hell are you doing messing around with Norma? I told you you can start pursuing her when you're done with this, just not now. You have to realise what's at stake."

"I do."

"Is she going to keep quiet about this?"

"I think so. I drove here right away. And Zack's out of town," said Alex. "So she wouldn't have had the chance to speak to him yet. In fact," he added, "I don't think she would about this."

"But as his girlfriend, don't you think she has some degree of loyalty to him?"

Alex parsed her words and realised she had a point. She always had a point that he always missed. It was easy for her to sort it out from far away, he thought, where she could see the whole picture. But once you were entangled in it, things grew complicated.

"I'm disappointed in you, I really am," said Jane. "I know what you're going through, but as your superior officer, I can't let your feelings get in the way."

"I understand."

"So put them aside and we'll figure out how to go from here."

* * *

"Have you told anyone?" Alex asked when she went by his house again the next day like he had asked her to. He was beaten down from his lack of sleep from the night before, but he knew he couldn't leave things unresolved.

"No," she said. She sounded a lot calmer today, thought Alex, which was always a good thing. They would have a level-headed conversation without either of them dissolving into fits of frustration. "And I won't," she added.

"Good," he said.

"Zack's coming home tonight," she said suddenly, and the sound of his name made Alex tense up. "I'm not sure what I should do. How I should act. I know I made it sound like I was cool with it, but—" _But how could you be cool with a thing like that?_ she thought.

"Just do what you always do," he said. "Tell him you watched a western last night, and it jittered your nerves a little bit, which is why you're jumpy. If you're jumpy, I mean," he added.

The response he had given her was not top-notch, but it would have to do.

Norma was glad she had read the report. Suddenly, her feelings for Alex didn't seem as intense as before. Maybe the thrill of wanting him had gone away with the knowledge that she _could_ have him. And was it always going to be this way? Was she always going to be chasing after love, and then hiding as soon as it showed signs of wanting to be caught?

Maybe, she thought. Because to have someone as your whole world— that was a dangerous thing.

She couldn't put all of her eggs in one basket. She couldn't risk believing in someone else entirely. What if that person vanished? What would happen then? It would be too devastating for her to handle. It crushed her now, to even think about it, and she never wanted to be powerless. She simply would not have it, and she preferred to leave her heart under the rug where she had swept it years ago.

Norma smiled at Alex warmly, and even though that was just her game face, even though she hadn't really meant it, it had made his heart tremble.

"Alright," she said.

"And stay away from him, won't you?" he asked. He couldn't work up the nerve to say Zack's name. "I know it sounds stupid, but he's not exactly the kind of person you think he is."

"And neither were you," she said automatically, and then apologised. She hadn't come over to start a fight again. He didn't take offence.

"Just don't spend that much time with him." He wondered if he had said that for her safety, or just out of his own selfish possessiveness. He couldn't tell.

"You know I have to," she said quietly. "Especially with all this going on."

There was nothing to discuss anymore. Before she left, Norma cast him a wretched look, and it kept him awake the whole night through. It had been two days, and he really needed to sleep. Alex knew that. He just wished he could shake off the discomfort that arose from thinking about her in the arms of someone else.

* * *

Norma didn't think much about the study group gathering at Tom's house. As the SATs loomed ahead, her students had decided to set up some last minute study sessions to get them through the exams. She had told them over and over that they would be alright, but everybody had been too anxious about college applications to listen.

It was only seven of them, including Norma. They had decided to congregate at Tom's because his parents always worked late, which meant they had the whole house to themselves and the peace and quiet that came along with it.

The two hours flew by and when night settled in, the students were too tired to keep their eyes open. One by one, they stood up, stretched out their legs and went home. Norma waited until the last kid had left, and when she was alone with Tom, the house seemed bigger and more daunting than she had noticed before. It was a little magical in its grandeur, and the black and white floor tiles made her feel as though she was in a picture book. And it was the perfect opportunity to get him to talk to her about White Pine Bay High's drug problem, and she couldn't leave without knowing more.

It had been going well. Tom trusted her and enjoyed their conversation, so he didn't hold back. He gave her names. Names of his friends, mostly, and of dealers. Norma listened intently and wondered how any of them had enough money to afford recreational drugs, but he shook his head. _They just did_ , he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Their conversation was cut short by the loud bang of the front door closing, and harsh, leather shoes clicked against the marble floor, walking towards them.

"It must be my dad," said Tom. He got up to peer into the hall, and then he nodded at her. "Yeah, it's him."

Norma, still sitting in her seat, wondered what she should do. It must look awfully suspicious for her to be here with him like that, and she didn't want a misunderstanding. She should go. She started putting her things into her bag, and had just gotten up from her seat when Roger walked into the dining room. She felt embarrassed at once, like she had been caught in the act.

"Hello," said Roger. He was dressed in an expensive suit, and he was clutching a leather briefcase in one hand. He sounded friendly and not at all threatening, but there was something in the way he looked her up and down that made her feel exposed. "You must be Thomas' teacher."

"Yes, Norma Bates," she said, extending a hand out to shake his. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Campbell. I was just leaving—Tom had kindly let us use this place for our study group. There were five other kids, so—" She needed him to know that she hadn't been up to anything perverse.

"No, I understand," he said with surprising warmth, cutting her off. He looked at Tom, who stood by the table. "Thomas, weren't you going to pick up your mother from the airport?" Roger glanced at his watch.

Tom jolted. "I completely forgot. What time is it?"

"'Bout half past ten. You'd better get going."

Tom sucked in his gum and looked at Norma. "Sorry, Ms. Bates. I just—the study session was awesome. Thank you so much, I—"

"You're welcome. Just go," said Norma. She smiled at him and he nodded sheepishly, mumbled a goodbye, and ran off.

When Norma and Roger were alone, she put on her coat. She heard the front door slam, and through the open window, the sound of an engine turning on in the driveway. "I'd better get going too."

"No. Stay, won't you?" said Roger. He registered her surprise and sighed. "I just wanted to talk to you about something in my study. It won't take five minutes, I promise."

She didn't know what to expect, but felt obliged to. She got her bag and followed him up the stairs and into the first room down the hall. He flicked on a light and closed the door. He set his briefcase on the table and took off his suit jacket while she hovered around the doorway.

"Please sit."

She sat down on the loveseat of burgundy leatherette and watched as he made two drinks. He turned around and offered her one of them. "Gin?"

"No, thank you," she said politely, giving him a flat-lipped smile. It was just going to be a quick chat anyway, she thought.

"Oh, do have some. It's good stuff."

Norma took the glass but didn't take a sip. She was sitting stiffly with her legs together and her bag next to her, wedged between the armrest and herself. Roger sat down next to her and sighed. He looked perplexed, and she recognised that look. It was the universal worried parent look, wasn't it?

"Ms. Bates—" he began.

"Please, call me Norma."

"Norma," he tried again tentatively. "The thing is, I've heard a lot about you."

She didn't say anything. What was with this town and everybody having 'heard of' her? It made her sound, she thought, like she was some myth who floated down hallways in her free time, some spirit who always left a trail of perfume behind her wherever she went.

Roger shifted sideways to take a better look at her.

She was a striking young woman, she really was. From her clear blue eyes to her impossibly sunflower blonde hair, she looked almost angelic, like a Pre-Raphaelite lady. He had met a lot of pretty women, but Norma was something else, something he had never seen before. And to think she had been here all along, stuck inside a classroom reciting Chaucer and Byron and Dickinson to a bunch of school kids. What a waste of that face!

But it wasn't this that he was concerned about.

Roger had heard about Norma alright, from Rebecca. He had taken Rebecca under his wing two years ago when he found her smart and fastidious, qualities he admired greatly in an employee. He had treated her with kindness, involving her in his underground affair, and she had an unyielding loyalty towards him. Rebecca had always been a little aloof, which let him know he could trust her with business.

But months ago, Rebecca had come to him about Norma. She had been worried this new English teacher would come between her and Alex, as Alex seemed more and more distant. That was before Rebecca had discovered she would get along with Norma immensely well, and she hadn't kept Roger updated so he didn't know what the situation was now. All he knew was that Norma had come into town and made ripples. Strike One.

Roger also knew Norma had been snooping around. All of that researching she had done, that was Strike Two. And Strike Three was freshly imprinted hours ago, when she had the audacity to come into his house and exploit his son in the guise of a study session. So that was three strikes in his book, and she was out.

"I hope they're good things you've heard," said Norma, giving him a weak smile.

"I'll be honest and say there have been some mixed reviews." His bluntness shocked her. "And I gotta say, I know why you're here."

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," she said. Her voice quivered a little, and she cleared her throat. She had to seem tougher than she really felt.

"But you do. And I'm going to help you with this, so don't play dumb."

Roger downed his drink and put the glass down on the side table, and she took that opportunity to do the same. She left her untouched drink next to his. He looked at it momentarily, and she wondered if he was going to make her have it, but he didn't and she was relieved.

"You're going to help me," she echoed with uncertainty.

"That's right. You just want information, don't you? I've been overseeing this town for years. Drugs, money laundering... I've heard it all. And I have it all," he tapped his index finger against the side of his head, "in here. Now I'm a reasonable businessman, so I'm going to make you a proposal, and you're going to tell me what you think."

"Alright," she said, sitting up straighter.

"Just now, I didn't think you could possibly have anything to offer," he said, "because you're obviously just a high school teacher snooping around." She didn't have time to be offended by his remark. "And I was going to tell you to quit altogether, but I've since decided against it."

"Okay." She had no idea where this was going.

"You know your currency, don't you?"

"I suppose I do," she said vaguely. Her currency? What of it? She didn't know what he was talking about.

"Good. I'm proposing that if you let me do _this_..."

Roger reached out, and his hand brushed up her dress slowly, until he had rested his palm on her bare thigh. His thumb kneaded small circles on her skin, and she pulled away with urgency.

" _What do you think you're doing?_ " she exclaimed.

She had wanted to bat his hand away completely. But here she was, sitting alone with him in his study, and she had to admit that she didn't want to piss him off, especially when he was much stronger than she was.

"Business," said Roger, smiling lightly. He retracted his hand but she could still feel his touch.

She pulled her dress back down to cover her knee and moved away from him as far as the little couch would allow. It was only about two inches, but it made her feel a little better. So that was what he had meant when he said her currency. Apparently, hers was her looks.

"I'm not that kind of woman," she said curtly, lifting her chin a little as if to preserve a shred of dignity.

He let out a snicker. "Alright, we have a noble one here." He paused, and looked at her dead in the eye. "Norma, you're an attractive young woman and you know what you want," he said almost melodically, seemingly turned on by her repulsion, "and I appreciate that! I do. Now that didn't go well, but I'm giving you a second chance."

He moved in closer and faced her. He swung his arm over the back of the loveseat and tugged at her dress again.

"I don't want it," she said, feeling a surge of panic rise up in her chest. She started to gather her things to get up but he put a hand on her knee again. It felt warm against her skin, and there was a sternness in his action that made her sit back down. She looked at the ring on his finger and felt her sense of abhorrence towards him magnify. "And you're married—" she said dumbly, as though she was reminding him like he had forgotten.

"I don't think that matters."

"It does, and I need to go—"

"I don't know why you're in such a rush. If you'd just stop and think for a second!" he said. "You'll make money with me. Lots of it. Much more than your schoolteacher salary. Double. No, _triple_."

"I don't care for the money," she said.

He gave a hearty laugh.

"That's what they all say at first. If you take it," he said, "things can go very smoothly from here." His hand travelled up her leg and rested on her inner thigh. She was trying to ignore it now.

"And suppose I don't?"

He leered at her. "Then it's going to be a bumpy ride."

"I'll take my chances," she concluded, finally gathering the strength to push his hand off of her. She got up and felt a little unsteady in her heels, but she knew she had to leave. She grabbed her bag and swung it over her shoulder.

"If you want to think about it, that's fine too," he said, holding open the door to his study.

"I said I'm not doing it."

"And I said think about it," he said a little more aggressively. And then: "I'll see you out." His tone was light and airy again, and this spontaneous change frightened her.

Norma was creeped out by how grand the house was, and her stomach tightened as she listened to the sound of Roger's footsteps behind her. They got to the door, but before he let her out, he suddenly pushed her into an alcove in the entryway. She let out a squeak.

"What—"

He came onto her by placing a hand on her waist and forcefully planting his lips onto hers. She struggled under his weight but managed to push him away, and she slinked out from the side and unlocking the front door in a manic rush.

She yanked the door open and wiped her mouth against the back of her hand. She was stumbling now, almost tripping over her own feet, but she was not going to stay in the house for a second longer. She could hear Roger speaking to her, in a voice that suggested no shame, much less any remorse at all.

"I do hope this isn't all I'm going to get from you," she heard him call out jovially, and she picked up her pace and ran away from that old house as fast as her legs would carry her.

* * *

The smell of coffee was invigorating, and Norma listened to the sound of coffee machines whirring as she waited for her order to be served. Next to her, Alex was uncomfortable.

"You did _what_?" he repeated for the third time.

"I said I went to his house," replied Norma bluntly. "Are you deaf?"

"No, I heard you-" he said, "it's just—you _really_ shouldn't be poking your head through that door."

"I was just trying to help," she snapped, a little offended.

"Did you?" he asked, and she didn't respond. "He's not a good person."

"You're friends with him."

"I'm not."

"Sure."

She shot him a sardonic smile.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Norma hesitated, and shook her head. "No."

"Good. Just—be careful."

"Mind you, I know that. And I'm always careful."

Alex made a disgruntled sound. This was exactly what he had told her not to do, and here she was, running face-first into danger. This woman was a headcase.

"Two lattes," said the girl behind the counter. They grabbed their cups and thanked her. "You're welcome," she said, and then she went back behind the till to take another order.

"You're not invincible, you know," said Alex. He pushed open the glass door for her and they walked out of the café.

"And neither are you," she said while looking the other way for incoming traffic so she could cross the road.

Across the street, Zack was just coming out of White Pine Books. He saw Norma and had wanted to say hi, but then the car that had stopped in front of the shop drove away and he noticed Alex, too, standing beside her.

Zack felt a knot in his stomach; he didn't want to say hi anymore. He ducked back inside just as Norma looked in his direction, and he stayed there until he was certain she had walked past.

* * *

 **AN: The chapters are getting longer and longer. I APOLOGISE.**


	11. A Romantic Entanglement

**AN: I HOPE YOU DO ENJOY THIS CHAPTER. (Clutches arms) I have goosebumps, feel!**

* * *

It was finally winter break, and with a candy cane for each of her students, Norma watched them run out into the hallway as the last bell of the semester rang. She was worn out from all of the planning, teaching, and grading of essays she had done in the past months, and she was happy to finally put her feet up for three weeks. But she wasn't in the mood to be festive.

 _Which wasn't fair_ , she thought, because she loved Christmastime.

Growing up, it was the one day of the year her father was sober, her mother present, and Caleb with his hands to himself. Though they never had money for presents, they would have a slightly nicer meal than usual, and the children had egg nog. Afterwards, if they could afford it, there was pudding. Everybody was in such a good mood; they promised to behave themselves and kept their promises. It was a shoddy family sitting at a shoddy dining table for one night of the year, but Norma had always cherished it because it was some semblance of a real home.

Tidying up her desk before she took the two weeks off — because teachers were never allowed to have the entirety of the break — she thought about those mottled memories and wondered how her family was doing. She decided she didn't want to know. She could hear the sound of footsteps walking briskly towards her cubicle, and she didn't have to stand up to tell that it was Zack.

His head popped in and she looked up. She realised she must have looked grim, because he didn't speak right away. Instead, he flashed her an uneasy smile, as though he was nervous. She felt obliged to return that smile, and he relaxed.

"Hey. You ready to go?" he asked, eyeing her bag. He had his own messenger bag swung over his shoulder, and _he_ was ready to go.

"Oh, um... not really," she said. She looked around her immaculate desk and tried to think of an excuse. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with him. After everything that had happened in the past week, she wanted nothing more than some form of normality. But Alex mentioned he had wanted to talk to her before she left, which was why she needed to stay. She just didn't feel like telling Zack the truth.

Zack felt deflated, but his grin didn't budge. He had sensed something off about her, and he guessed it had to do with Alex. Yet, for precisely that reason, he felt more and more as though he had to keep her interested so she wouldn't drift away from him. It might be some kind of masochistic, wretched torture Zack was putting himself through, but he liked Norma. He really did. He was just getting to know her, and already, he felt invigorated. He didn't want to let her go.

"Come on, it's _Christmas_ ," he said cheerfully. "Work can wait."

Norma winced at his enthusiasm. "I know. I'm really sorry," she said. "It's... there's this one thing I need to get done. It's just a quick—"

"No, that's okay. You take your time," he said swiftly. "You know, I just realised I had a report to type up, so... I'll try again in twenty minutes?"

She nodded, feeling terrible he had to lie for her sake. She hadn't meant to dampen his spirit like that. She reached out to hold his hand, and it surprised him because she never enjoyed PDA.

"I really am sorry," she said. She rubbed her thumb against the back of his hand. "I don't mean to be a party pooper. I'm going to be very, very quick."

He smiled chivalrously. "Okay. And don't apologise. I wish I was half as conscientious as you are," he said sincerely. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay."

Norma watched as Zack walked away with an easy gait, and then she took her phone out to text Alex. She hadn't really done that before much. She didn't really _text_ , full-stop. She mostly just had her phone in case of emergencies, despite her students' constant pleas for her to join social media. She felt overwhelmed at the mere thought of all of that clogging up her phone.

Her fingers glided across the keyboard.

 _Where are you?_

She hadn't even bothered to say hello; she supposed it was their dynamic.

She put her phone down and drummed her fingers against the surface. A minute later, it buzzed and the screen lit up. He had texted back.

 _Coming. Sorry. Got held up._

She fired back a quick 'okay' and dropped her phone into her bag. She spent the next three minutes craning her neck to stare at the staff room door. When she heard the digital beep of an ID being swiped against the card reader on the outside, she looked away in case it was him.

Norma focused on rearranging the pens in her pen holder instead for that brief moment, and she looked up when she heard someone clearing his throat above her. It was Alex. He _was_ fast.

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" she said nonchalantly. She didn't want to seem too keen, like she had just been sitting here waiting for him.

"Yeah," he said. He exhaled; he was a little out of breath after sprinting up four flights of stairs. She looked at him intently. "I... uh, I was wondering if you could come over tomorrow night."

She shifted in her seat and tried to recollect her schedule. "I can't tomorrow night—" she started. "Zack and I were planning to stay in... he wanted to see this documentary that was coming on at eight," she said apologetically.

"Oh. That's okay," he said, shrugging. He tried not to picture her snuggling up with Zack, whom he still found to be unpleasant. "How 'bout Sunday evening?" He hoped he didn't sound like he was pressurising her.

"I'm not sure. I'd better check." She retrieved her planner and he watched as she flipped through page after page of scribbles, some dog-eared, some of them with markings in bright red ink. "I'm busy all day," she said regrettably.

"That's fine. I'm sorry. I should've asked you earlier."

"No, no," she said. "What did you want me to go over for?" she asked tentatively. _And w_ _ouldn't Rebecca mind?_ she had wanted to ask, but knew she could never. She didn't want to overthink things or have any high hopes, because she would just make a fool of herself.

"I just wanted you to meet Jane," he said dumbly. It _was_ the truth. He didn't need to be embarrassed. "She was the one who wanted to meet you, actually, since you read the, uh..." he nodded solemnly.

"Oh."

"Look, it's okay if you're not free—"

"No, I can rearrange."

"You don't have to do that."

" _Alex_ ," said Norma. "Don't you think we're past petty formalities?"

He shot her a small, hopeful smile. "Yeah, I guess. Okay. Well, it's only a tiny bit urgent. Let's see when you're free next week."

She flipped through her planner. "I'm free... _Monday_ , actually. Zack's going to be out the whole day because he's got this... um... I can't remember— he told me about it..." she shook her head and let out a quiet, nervous laugh. "No, never mind. I won't be able to recall. Let's just meet Monday."

"Okay. Is four a good time?" he asked. "It's just that Jane has to drive in, and—"

"No, no. I understand. Four's perfect."

Alex watched as she made a note on her planner. She shut it with a satisfied air about her, and looked up at him.

"Can't wait," she said, almost sarcastically but not quite.

"She's nice, I promise," said Alex. "Scares me a bit, but... it's all cool."

This time Norma laughed a genuine laugh. "She scares _you_?"

"What's so funny?"

"Well, it's just that you... you're Mr. Tough Guy, that's all. I really need to meet this woman. We're going to be best friends. It's going to be great."

He didn't know what to make of her comment.

"Am I?" he asked almost bashfully, ignoring the rest of what she had just said. All he had latched onto was 'Mr. Tough Guy'.

"Yes," she said playfully. "Very much so." She saw the uncertain look in his eyes. "Hey, don't despair; it's a compliment."

He couldn't help stifling his smile, so he just let it happen. "Alright," he said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," said Norma. She glanced at the clock on the wall, and then back at Alex. He noticed the split second of worry in her countenance.

"You've got somewhere to be?" he asked.

"Not really," she explained. "Zack just said he was going to come round about now."

Alex recoiled at the mention of his name. "Oh. I see. Anyway, I was just about to head off."

"Oh no, don't be put off by—"

"I'm not. I just realised there's something I have to do, so," he said, "I'll see you at four on Monday. Have a good weekend."

Norma was shocked by his abruptness. "Okay. You too," she managed to say, before he gave her a small wave and walked back to his desk.

Minutes later, Zack came back around as he had promised, and the two of them headed out together. He had wanted to put an arm around her, but she shook him off, telling him there might be students around, and she didn't want to seem unprofessional. He nodded, understanding completely, and put his hand back on the strap of his bag. She felt relieved.

* * *

"Hey," said Norma, stepping inside. Monday had rolled around quickly. She removed her coat and scarf and Alex took them. She was wearing a pink frock with a boatneck and a little string ribbon in the centre, and she wanted to remove her heels, but he told her to leave them on.

"You look great, by the way," he said off-handedly, and she blushed.

"Thanks," she said, and paused. She lowered her voice. "Is she—"

"Yeah. Just in the living room."

Norma nodded and walked down the hall. She didn't know what she was expecting, and when she walked into the room, she was greeted by a relatively young woman in a suit. She looked smart and beautiful, and her hair was tied up in a neat ponytail.

Norma was surprised. She knew it was wrong of her to assume anything, but Alex had made Jane sound so intimidating— to the point where this just wasn't how Norma had pictured Jane at all. She didn't know _what_ she was picturing, to be honest, but she suddenly felt a slight flash of envy. She was used to other beautiful women because they were all different from her. She could feel, however, that Jane had a similar aura to her own, and she couldn't help being a little threatened.

"Hello, you must be Norma," said Jane, and she smiled warmly. "I'm Jane."

Norma reprimanded herself and let down her guard. She _was_ being silly. Jane was not here for any other reason than business. Why did she always have to twist every situation regarding Alex into something that it was not?

"Hello," she said. She felt awkward, and she wished Alex was there to bridge that gap between them.

"I wanted to meet you in case you thought that... well, in case you didn't believe Alex," said Jane honestly. "And you know that he's been writing to me about you. So I was a little curious, too, to meet you in person. It _is_ nice to meet you."

Norma nodded nervously. "Likewise."

It took Alex a while, but he showed up eventually, and the three of them talked until sundown. They chatted about pretty much everything, from Alex's job to a little bit more on what they were working on. But it wasn't just about the two of them. Jane asked Norma questions too, about herself, and sounded genuinely interested in knowing more about her. Norma was happy to discover how smoothly the conversation flowed. They _were_ going to get along, after all, even if Jane intended to keep their relationship professional.

"Norma," said Jane suddenly, before she was about to leave. "I hope you aren't too freaked out about this. I just— I'm going to need you to sign this," she said, drawing a folder from her bag.

Norma's gaze followed Jane's hands, and watched as she retrieved two sheets of paper. Jane slid them across the table for her to read, and Norma discovered it was a confidentiality agreement.

"I've already agreed I won't talk about this," said Norma, flipping through them. She caught glimpses of it, and Jane shook her head.

"I know, but I need it on paper," she said. "It's just a formality, and you can read through these sheets if you like."

"Well... alright," said Norma. She skimmed both of them, found that there was nothing particularly weird or outstanding, and turned to Alex. "Do you have a pen?"

Jane fished one out from her bag. "I do; here."

"Thanks," said Norma, and she signed each sheet before returning the pen and the documents.

Jane reshuffled them and slotted them back into the folder, and then into her bag. She stood up and gathered her things. When she did, Alex stood up, too. Norma was a little amused because she had never seen Alex so on his toes and alert, and she teased him about it after Jane had left.

"She's lovely," she added.

"I'm glad that went well," said Alex. They were standing by the doorway, not knowing what to do with themselves. "Won't you stay for dinner?" he asked suddenly, and then seemed to regret his words until she said yes. "You like branzino?" he asked.

"I do."

"Great."

* * *

Dinner was wonderful, and Norma was impressed by Alex's cooking. He really did know his way around the kitchen. And she thought all single men were— _well_ , except he wasn't single, was he? She kept forgetting that. And it wasn't that Rebecca was forgettable; she was anything but.

It was more to do with the way he acted. He always seemed independent and carefree, and he had always gone the extra mile for Norma.

Alex going out of the way to make her feel better was beginning to torture her. She didn't quite understand why he had to do this now, of all times. Cooking her dinner, uncorking a bottle of wine while they sat opposite each other... these were not things she should be doing. She was going against her conscience, but she was enjoying herself so much that she couldn't stop. She was counting on him to be the voice of reason, the moral compass. She knew that they wouldn't really get anywhere when he was so strict with following the rules, and that soothed her.

"Where's Rebecca?" she had finally managed to ask, after her third glass of wine.

They had both had quite a lot to drink, though it was barely ten in the evening. She had been sitting on the edge of his sofa, taking sips of her wine coquettishly. He sat in the armchair to her right, and she leaned towards him with her glass in one hand. They were tipsy, and she liked it that way. With the both of them in such a hazy state, it made her feel as though she could say anything with little to no consequences.

"Gone," said Alex, shrugging. He wondered if it sounded too harsh. He didn't mean to. He liked Rebecca, as a person. "I mean, she's visiting her family. You know, what with it being the holidays and all." He fumbled for a cigarette and took it out, and it was met with a disapproving glance from her end.

"You're _not_ smoking," she said in disbelief. "I thought you've been good!"

"I _have_ ," he said defensively. "It's just... once in a while, you get that itch."

Norma nodded slowly. She took another sip of her wine, and then changed her mind and downed it. Now that was her fourth glass. If she kept going, she was going to get alcohol poisoning, or just black-out. She wouldn't want either of that happening. She put the glass down on the coffee table and told herself she was not going to pick it up again.

"Resist it," she said simply, and he shook his head.

"Easier said than done." He patted his pocket for his lighter but couldn't find it, and remembered he had left it in his room. He got up to fetch it, and she looked at him.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"The..." he started to say, but lost his trail of thought when he looked into her eyes.

Those magnetic eyes seemed to pull him in. Her cheeks were now rosy from the flush of wine, and he noticed the curl of her lips on that pretty mouth that never seemed to run out of words to make him smile. Her whole delightful face! If he could kiss her right now, he would. Yet her own words rang in his head: _r_ _esist it._

"The bedroom," he recalled slowly, as if in a daze. He needed to get himself together. He was about to take a step when he felt the room spin. He had only had half a bottle of wine — or maybe it was a little bit more than that — but it wasn't even any of the strong stuff he was used to. Yet he was really feeling it come in full force, and he had to steady himself on the edge of the cupboard.

"Interesting," she purred. "Mind if I join you?"

"No," he said, smiling. The spinning room came to a halt and he could walk again. He watched as she uncrossed her legs and sprung up. She limped towards him and slinked her arm through his, and she could smell his cologne.

"What's this scent?" she asked, practically burying her face into his neck. "It smells _good_."

"I have no idea," he confessed, laughing. "You like it?"

"I sure do."

"I'm only wearing it to impress you," he confessed in a drunken fuddle. He didn't care that he was now running his mouth. She wouldn't possibly remember any of this in a few hours, would she? He knew _he_ wouldn't, and he prayed the same for her.

"Well, colour me _very_ impressed."

They staggered into his bedroom, holding onto each other for support.

"What a pretty, pretty room..." Norma mused. She paced it dreamily in the dim light from a lamp that stood in the corner of the room. She traced the spine of the books on his shelf before she plopped herself onto his bed. She looked up at the ceiling, and she suddenly felt very warm inside. She noticed Alex going through each item on his desk meticulously as he looked for his lighter. He wasn't paying attention now because he could hardly focus, and his hands must have run over the lighter a dozen times. Still he couldn't seem to find it.

Norma called out to him. "Hey, you. Come over."

Alex turned around with a jolt. He mouthed _'me?'_ and pointed a finger at himself.

She nodded with a goofy grin on her face. "Yes, you."

"Alright."

He smiled and plopped himself down next to her.

"You have a very pretty ceiling," she commented.

"You think so?"

"Mhm," she said, and they were lying side by side now. She sprawled half her body out. "Look at me—I'm a starfish."

He leaned up on one elbow and saw that she had extended an arm and a leg out on the side of the bed. He laughed.

"You're a very pretty starfish," he said.

"Thank you," she said, and paused when she noticed, out of the corner of her eye, a framed photo of Rebecca and Alex on his bedside table. "I have a question for you." There was silence, and she took it as his anticipation. She cleared her throat. "If you like me so much, as you claim to—"

"I do," he said, nodding along.

"Well, if you like _me_ so much," she started again, "then why are you sleeping with _her_?"

Alex didn't know what to say. He wasn't quite aware of what _she_ was trying to say. He didn't feel very much himself, and he couldn't feel anything except for a flushed sense of happiness that had filled him from how well Norma's encounter with Jane had gone. He turned to look at her, and he saw that her face had crumpled up slightly. Was she crying? He couldn't tell.

"I don't know," he said. "I really shouldn't be doing that."

"No, you really shouldn't, because it is horrible. It is a horrible, terrible, no-good thing to do," she said, and her words slurred heavily. "It hurts my feelings."

"I'm sorry," he said, frowning. "I never want to hurt your feelings."

"That's okay," she said quickly, eyes wild with excitement. "I know how you can atone for it... are you listening?" She sat up and turned the photo frame down so that she couldn't see their smiling faces anymore. Then she lay down next to him again.

"Mhm..." he mumbled. He was lost in his own little whirlwinds of thoughts, and he didn't feel her hand slipping up against his.

Their fingers intertwined and locked, and suddenly, they were facing each other. Their lips were a mere inch apart, and even though they knew it was not a good idea, it seemed like the best idea in the world right then.

Alex was tentative at first, but quickly changed his mind when she came onto him. They were delicate kisses in the beginning, almost chaste, and she planted each small peck on his lips before they turned a little sloppier, and the both of them were suddenly galvanised into action.

"How's this for atonement?" she mewled.

"Really, really good," he replied, heady with passion.

They managed to undress in their blind fumble, and seeing her sitting on his bed like that in her black bra and underwear, like she was a saucy little minx and that she _knew_ it — she knew all about it — it excited him. He was almost in disbelief that it was happening.

"Why don't you put your hands on me?" she asked, flashing him a bashful smile.

"I'd love to," he replied, and his words soothed her.

He smiled when she leaned backwards, and he peeled the duvet back so they could both scramble in.

Norma let out a little whimper as Alex left a trail of kisses down her collarbone and to her chest, and he unclipped her bra effortlessly, before she slipped it off and tossed it aside onto the floor.

"You really do know your way around bras," she teased him, and he laughed quietly before he continued kissing her.

Norma was relieved that Alex wasn't trying to pin her arms against her body or above her head like Zack usually did. She never resisted because she knew that was what Zack liked, and she had grown accustomed to making people happy— but it had always given her horrid flashbacks of her childhood that she would never want to relive or even recall.

She liked how gentle Alex was; she would never have expected it from his gruff demeanour.

There was a tiny part of them that knew they might regret this in the morning. But they carried on, despite the fact that neither of them had a clear head. They were having _such_ a good time; they were laughing along as they did this, seized by occasional fits of drunken giggles whenever a spot tickled from the touch of a tongue.

Alex's hands brushed against her thighs before he took her underwear off, and at the touch she let out a moan she couldn't contain. She bit her lip out of habit to keep quiet, and he seemed to sense how she was feeling, because he paused momentarily to study her.

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered, and she believed him and told him to keep going.

She put her hands on his back while his roamed her body, and he let out a small grunt.

 _He was a good lover_ , she thought, _better than most._

She arched her back a little higher so that she was pressing against his chest, and he laughed, teasing her for wanting it.

" _Alex_ —" Norma let out a small gasp when she finally felt him inside her, and she wrapped her legs around him reflexively. She had been afraid of how much she had wanted him, and now that she had him, she was afraid of letting go.

"Wha—is this okay? Am I hurting you?" His voice was low and gravelly, and she shook her head.

"No, no, this is perfect, _oh_ —" she managed to say, and closed her eyes. She could barely utter another word from the immense pleasure he was giving her, but that didn't matter, for all words ceased for the rest of the night.

* * *

 **AN: Yay Normero! I didn't want to make it too graphic, so I kept it like this. I feel like this is okay. After all, they're grown adults, not teenagers in heat. Let me know what you think!**


	12. The Plot Thickens

**AN: Hello, hope everyone's doing OK. Thank you for your reviews! They mean so much to me. To answer WhereAreWeGoing's questions - Norma knows Alex is only dating Rebecca because he 'has to' (so to speak), but doesn't know about Rebecca being shady. Though I reckon it wouldn't be too difficult for her to connect the dots.**

 **I'm sorry about the huge gaps between uploads; my schedule is crazy and terrible. I planned to post this chapter last night but it was like 3AM when I was editing on my bed and I just fell asleep. And then I had been busy the whole day today. At this point, I am almost too ashamed to present myself to the world ever again. Accept my humble apology in the form of this chapter, and I hope everyone has a great weekend!**

* * *

Norma woke up to the sound of rain tapping against the window. It hadn't been very loud, but she had always been a light sleeper. She could hardly open her eyes because her head was banging from the night before, and she was grateful she didn't have to go into school. She rubbed her eyes, forgetting that she hadn't taken off her makeup, and remnants of mascara smeared across her hand.

It didn't matter, she thought, because she had brought her makeup pouch with her. It was something she carried with her on most days, containing just the basics for touch-ups; but it was enough.

Sitting up a little, she tried to look past the sheer curtains, if only to get a clue of what time it was. But the sky was dim because of the foul weather, and she was left in the dark.

Norma replayed last night's events in her head. She couldn't believe it had really happened. She felt terrible, yet not terrible enough. Though she supposed the guilt would creep up to her and kick in later on; it always did.

She dragged the duvet up to her chin when she caught a chill. She looked over to the other side of the bed where he had lay, and she didn't like the idea that Alex had gotten up before her and could have watched her sleep. It made her feel altogether too exposed, which she thought was silly, considering everything they had done last night.

Norma looked around, still bleary-eyed, and saw that he had picked up the clothes she had carelessly strewn around the room. Her dress was hung up neatly on the back of his closet door, and he had left her a clean towel at the foot of his bed in case she wanted to take a shower. She smiled at his thoughtfulness and felt better.

She managed to gather herself, and she was thankful for his ensuite bathroom; she wouldn't have to creep down the corridor in shame. She just needed ten minutes to organise her thoughts. And maybe five before that, when she could just not think about anything but savour the rejuvenating feeling of a hot shower on her skin.

* * *

Norma's hair was a little matted when she came out of the bathroom, and it took some time for her to comb it out. She found a plugged in hairdryer in the corner of Alex's room, which she found unusual, considering his hair looked as though it dried in a minute. She realised it must be Rebecca's, and swiftly felt the first shot of guilt in her heart.

She hadn't even thought about it, and now that she was, she knew it wasn't fair that she was doing this to Rebecca.

Maybe she and Alex had been drunk, but that was a cheap excuse. People got drunk all the time; it didn't mean they had to sleep with each other. Now how was she supposed to face Rebecca, knowing full well she had betrayed their friendship?

Norma turned the hairdryer on and was grateful for how loud it was, because she would rather listen to the empty, meaningless noise than untangle her own thoughts.

* * *

"Norma?" Alex called out ten minutes after he had heard the sound of the hairdryer click shut. He had left it by the table on purpose, where he knew she could find it. It was just a considerate thing to do; he didn't want her to feel lost or uncomfortable.

Norma heard his call but kept quiet. She fixated on her reflection in the bathroom mirror, marvelling at her own skill for a split second before she threw her eyeliner hastily into her makeup bag. She heard a little clang and zipped it up.

Alex was reading the paper when she walked into the living room, and it surprised her. First the radio, and now the paper? She wondered how he could possibly care _this_ much about the world and its state of affairs. She knew she didn't.

"Morning," she mustered, spotting the clock on his wall that read 9:26.

"Morning," he responded naturally. He lowered the paper in his hands so he could see her properly, and she shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. She watched as he folded it in half and tucked it away. "I... uh, I made coffee. Let me get you a mug." He sounded a little too protective, and she winced. He hurried to the kitchen, and she could hear the sound of a cupboard door opening and closing.

 _We didn't need to play house_ , she had wanted to say. They were adults; surely it would have been fine for the both of them to just mind their own business the morning after.

Norma walked towards the windows and peered out. The rain had stopped, and the sun was coming out again. She looked for a rainbow, but there wasn't one.

Alex returned with a steaming cup of coffee as promised, and she accepted it gratefully. She thanked him as the ceramic mug warmed up her fingertips, and then she scanned the room. It looked slightly different in the morning, as though it was somehow more concrete.

"So," said Alex.

He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her standing there barefoot like she was some kind of a miracle. She _did_ just make the rain stop, didn't she? It had to have been her doing; nobody else could possibly have this kind of power.

"So," she responded.

They were going to talk now, and Norma hated this part. The afterward. The waking up. The talking. It was pointless, and just made everybody involved uncomfortable. She liked him, but she should just have slipped out of his house when she had a chance to, because she hated confrontation.

"Last night was..." said Alex. He was simply trying to find the right word, but it was tricky. He didn't want to freak her out, but he didn't want her to think that he didn't enjoy it, because he did very much so. She looked at him warily, hoping he wouldn't call it a mistake.

"It was good," he said lamely, and then scolded himself. He could never seem to be eloquent around her.

She shot him a nervous smile. "It was good for me too." Her words had rolled out slowly, as if she was testing the waters.

Alex felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders. "Oh, good. I just..." He scratched the back of his head absent-mindedly. "I mean—"

"Listen," she interrupted him. "We don't really have to talk about this, do we?"

It sounded like a plea, and when he shook his head, she looked relieved.

"No, I guess not," he said. "Not if you don't want to," he added quickly.

Norma primmed up her mouth, drawing her lips into a tight line, but her eyes were sympathetic. "Let's not," she said.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

* * *

"What about Norma?" asked Alex, sounding a little too jostled at the mention of her name. He couldn't help it.

Next to him, Roger grinned. "She's really something."

Alex watched Roger, out of the corner of his eye.

Just a couple of days ago, Jane had told Alex that Roger was involved in this, too. He wasn't surprised, but it did make him wonder why Norma hadn't said anything about it if she had just been over at his house. Surely Roger must have seen her for the capable woman she was and made a move on her. Offered her a job, or something along those lines. Alex was told that Roger had always been quick to snap people up.

"Mhm," mumbled Alex noncommittally. "I guess she is."

"But what's the deal with her anyway?" Roger mused aloud. "Came over the other day. Seemed a bit prudish."

Alex flinched at the mention of the word 'prudish', and felt his palms clam up. "What?"

"It's nothing," said Roger in a tone that suggested otherwise. "Anyway, it's not like that. I just thought she would be more open."

"To?"

"Sex, of course."

Alex's senses flared up. "Roger—"

"Relax," he said. "I didn't do anything. Couldn't even get my hand that far up her dress," he said. "She just stormed out. Can you imagine?"

Alex felt the steady bubbling of rage amount to a surge, and he wanted to kick Roger off his bar stool. But he reminded himself he had to keep calm; he wasn't going to get a story out of Roger by knocking the wind out of him.

"Well," Alex started, choosing his words carefully. "What exactly did you say to her?"

"I just offered her a job."

"At city council?" asked Alex peculiarly, egging him on.

"What? No. Alex, have I never told you?" Roger shot him a funny look, hesitated a little, wrestling with whether or not he should confide in Alex, but smiled warmly at last.

 _Bingo_ , thought Alex.

"I meant a _job_ ," said Roger. "To work for me, personally. At my... _well_ , you know. The patch."

"The patch?"

"Yeah. You've got to be kidding me! You mean I've known you this whole time..." He cleared his throat. "See, the patch is a base for me to get some extra cash. _Alex_. Seriously? Your girlfriend works for me," he said.

Alex ducked his head.

"I just never thought—"

"It's okay. I wouldn't have been able to tell either," he said. "But you must've guessed something was up. Can't have that house and those cars on a humble salary." Roger wasn't trying to brag, and Alex knew that. He was just trying to put things into perspective.

"Well," he carried on speaking. "The patch is where I get my stuff. And we just distribute it. The kids dig it."

"Not the kids," said Alex, perplexed.

As soon as those words had left his mouth, Alex was reminded of Norma. He was beginning to sound like her.

"Oh, yes. But that's boring," said Roger, shaking his head. "I just can't believe Norma slipped out like that. I would've had her," he pulled a face and let out an exhale. "God, she would've been divine."

Alex stayed mute when he felt Roger's glistening eyes on him.

"I mean, you've seen her," said Roger. "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it."

The way Roger said this almost made Alex laugh. It was pitiful, how riled up he was getting. At the same time, he was getting more and more irritated at how entitled Roger felt to Norma. Alex didn't know what he had to say to get him to stop talking about it. He just knew that he had to say _something_.

"I think you've done enough damage," Alex said.

"Damage?" asked Roger a little too quickly, as if he had been waiting for the right moment to bring it up. "All I did was get a good kiss out of her." He frowned. "But that's nothing."

"You need to keep your hands off her," said Alex with a straight face. He cleared his voice when he felt his throat dry up. "I'm serious."

Alex wasn't in the mood to laugh along, no matter how much he wanted to be in Roger's good books. He was just beginning to learn more about this whole operation, and he would love to butter Roger up, but some things just weren't funny. The thought of Norma having had to go through that made him physically sick, and he couldn't force a fake laugh out of him if he tried his damned hardest.

Roger let the words sink in, and Alex wondered if he had been too blunt. He hoped Roger wouldn't be miffed at his disapproval; he was not.

"As usual, you're the only one who speaks to me like that," he said, chuckling to himself. "I appreciate it. But don't you think you're too straight-laced? When do you ever get to have fun?"

"She's dating Shelby, that's all," said Alex. He was trying to suppress his emotions, and he thought he was doing okay. Roger didn't notice a thing, just gave an understanding nod. When he spoke next, he sounded more solemn.

"She's dating _Zack._ "

Alex nodded. "You know him?"

"Guess I do," said Roger. "Well, she mentioned someone anyway. I just didn't know it was _him_. Aw, _now_ I feel bad."

"You should've felt bad a long time ago," corrected Alex. He knew Roger wouldn't take him seriously, but it still felt good, reprimanding him like that. "Unlike you, she actually has a moral compass. So just leave her alone."

Roger laughed. "Alright, alright. I will. Gee," he said, "no need to get your knickers in a twist."

As Alex watched Roger finish off the last fry in the little wicker basket, he couldn't help but smile at the thought of sending him to jail. He thought he had harboured positive feelings for this man, but every last drop of that fondness had washed off in the past ten minutes.

Alex was annoyed and ashamed that it had taken him this long to discover how vile Roger really was, and he just wanted to sock him in his smug face right there and then. He obviously couldn't. But even if he couldn't, one thought soothed him: the second Roger was behind bars, there would be plenty of other men — dangerous men who had maimed and killed — who would do that beating up for him. So he needn't get his hands dirty now.

* * *

"Norma, you have a delivery," called Zack from down the hall. He had been lounging on her couch, but leapt from it when the doorbell rang. Norma had wanted to get it in case it was Alex, but he told her he had it, and she could only sit back nervously and let him.

"A delivery?" she echoed, confused. Not liking this unexpected thing, she got up from the couch.

"What is it?" she asked and hurried towards him.

When he turned around, he was holding a large bouquet of fresh flowers, and she let out a stunned grin.

"Oh! Are these for _me_? They're beautiful." She didn't think he would surprise her like that. No wonder he had leapt from the couch enthusiastically. "Thank you," she said, her beam not budging an inch.

She searched his eyes for that gleam of contentment from flattery, but he looked puzzled.

"They're not from me," he said awkwardly. He handed her the bouquet clumsily, and she saw a small envelope tucked behind a bunch of pink roses. He didn't seem to have spotted it, and she shielded it from his view by holding the flowers in her arms like she would a baby.

"That's strange," she said. She nudged him along the hallway, and he shuffled in front of her in bewilderment.

"It _is_ strange," he said. "I don't understand—"

"Well, never mind. Maybe I'd just... maybe I'd just forgotten I'd ordered it."

She knew it was a crappy excuse, but she didn't know what to say.

"You couldn't have," he said, but he didn't sound cross. He was just trying to work things out. He peered at the flowers, so intricately packed and wrapped up. "These look like they must've cost a fortune."

"Well, sometimes when I'm tipsy I do weird things."

He looked perplexed, and he must have been frowning, because she reached over to smoothen the marks in the gap between his eyebrows.

"Don't frown, pretty boy," she mumbled, and he smiled a small, unsure smile.

Norma disappeared into the kitchen under the guise of getting a vase, and he didn't follow her. She heard him plop onto the couch and knew he wasn't getting up again. Now that she was alone, she opened the little envelope and saw the pastel purple card that came in it. She opened it, half in anticipation, half in dread.

 _Norma,_ the words read in a cursive print. The florist must have written it. _I am really sorry for what happened the other night. Please accept these flowers with my apology. Yours, Roger._

Norma felt as though her stomach was in knots. Sure, it made her feel a little better that Roger seemed to regret what he had done, but she wasn't ready to forgive him. She didn't trust him. How could anybody be sorry so easily? She wondered what had spurred him to do this, and hoped it wasn't because he had talked to Zack. She didn't want Zack to know about any of this.

She looked around the kitchen in a daze. She _had_ intended to fetch a vase, but after reading the note, the sight of the flowers made her cringe with repulsion. She picked up the bouquet, gave it one glance, and tossed it into the bin.

"Where are the flowers?" Zack asked when she was in the living room again, empty-handed. "I thought you were going to put them out here."

Norma snuggled under the quilt they were sharing and leaned into his shoulder affectionately, which he liked. He put an arm around her to huddle her closer, and gave her an inquisitive and quietly amused look. He always looked at her like that, like she was some small, adorable animal he was protecting.

"I found a bug in the flowers," she said simply.

"You didn't throw the whole thing away though, did you?" he asked in disbelief.

She paused. "There were _several_ bugs, actually. They scared me."

"But I didn't see any just now."

"Well, they were there," she said a little too indignantly.

"Okay, okay," he said, noticing her temper. "I believe you."

She let out a mildly piqued exhale. "Do you?"

"Of course I do," said Zack, even though he didn't.

He was wondering if the flowers could have been from Alex, and he wasn't just being silly. Maybe Alex had expected Norma to be home alone, and it had just so happened that he had been there to receive the flowers and foiled his plan.

It _was_ possible, wasn't it? It would explain why she didn't want to display them, and the way she had laughed nervously.

If she felt anything towards Alex, if she liked him back, then displaying the flowers would have made her feel ashamed. And if she _didn't_ feel anything towards him, suppose he had just taken a random fancy to her, she wouldn't be putting the flowers out either because she would have been creeped out.

Pleased with his logical reasoning, Zack gave Norma a kiss on the head, taking in the heavenly smell of her perfume. She twitched slightly. She was a bit ruffled, still.

"I just meant that it's a shame," he lowered his head to coo into her ear. "I didn't mean to press your buttons."

Norma felt his hot breath in her ear, and she didn't care for it, but the way he was trying so hard to make her happy... she couldn't take her frustrations out on him like that all the time. He was only human. Her expression softened.

"I'm sorry," she admitted. "It's weird, that's all. I really don't remember ordering the flowers, but I guess I had. Maybe I should just stop drinking altogether."

"Now you're being unrealistic. Come here," he said, and he kissed her. She kissed him back because she didn't want him to talk about it anymore, and it didn't take much time before he had taken her clothes off and they were doing it on the couch again.

It was the way most nights ended. Zack didn't mind at all, but she wasn't proud of it. What was a relationship like this good for? What could it amount to, when she was always using sex to thwart conversation because she couldn't even stand to hear him speak?

* * *

"I had a chat with Roger the other night," said Alex. He watched Norma closely while she fiddled about her living room, moving things a quarter of an inch for no reason other than to occupy herself. He was waiting for her to react, but she didn't even raise an eyebrow. _She was good,_ he thought. "Why didn't you tell me he did all of that stuff to you? _God_ , Norma. I'm sorry."

 _So Roger had sent the flowers after a prompt from Alex._ She should have guessed.

"I'm really not that fazed by it," Norma responded.

"It's not about whether or not you were fazed," said Alex with urgent conviction. "It's the fact that he touched you."

"Okay, but I'm fine," she lied. She had on her sing-song tone, and he recognised it as the falsetto she employed whenever she didn't feel like engaging.

"Stop it," he said.

"Stop what?"

"Norma..." he started, frustrated with her little antics. "Don't play games. It's tiring."

"Fine. I'm not sleeping with him!" she said crudely, which shocked him. _But a_ _t least she was reacting_ , he thought.

"What? I never said that you were."

"I know what you're insinuating," she said, "but just because I slept with _you_ one time doesn't mean I'm about to throw myself at every man I come across. I'm not like that."

"I didn't mean..." said Alex, and she glared at him from the other side of the room. "It's just that— _oh_. What the hell. Never mind. I only dropped by to tell you that we had a new lead. I didn't mean to bring Roger up at all, so forget it. I don't think he's going to bother you anymore anyway. The problem is with Zack."

"What about him?" She narrowed her eyes at Alex.

"I know you two are really close," he said, "but he has ties to this after all. And I don't want you to get hurt, so I would suggest you try to..." he sighed. "Detach yourself."

She scoffed. "Now that's a grand idea." She put a hand on her hip. "What's with you today? You're talking all funny... I don't know what you're trying to achieve, but I'm not liking it."

"He could be dangerous." Alex had run out of ideas to beat around the bush.

"Dangerous?" Norma almost laughed. "Anything could be dangerous." She scanned the room. "I could get electrocuted by this _dangerous_ socket, walk outside and get hit by a _dangerous_ car."

He looked exasperated. "Stop it! I mean it," he said. "Why don't you ever take anything seriously?"

"I do. Look, I can help you. You hate Zack so much you're never going to be on good terms with him, so you might as well hand the baton over and let me have a go at playing Nancy Drew."

"First of all, this isn't a game," he said. "And you _are_ helping me by keeping quiet."

Norma clicked her tongue, irritated that he had kept shutting her down.

"You know what this all boils down to?" she asked.

"What?"

"Zack. For whatever reason, you've always had a problem with him."

"Maybe I do. What of it?"

"Now you're pissed that I'm sleeping with him," she stated boldly. She expected him to look away in embarrassment, but his eyes stayed on her. He didn't speak, and she wasn't done yet, so she continued: "Because... between you and me, Alex? Maybe there _is_ something between us. Maybe! And the fact that Zack has me makes you uncomfortable."

She walked towards him, but stopped when she was just three feet away. "But you know what? Not everything's about you and your soppy feelings, so you should get over yourself. If I can watch you cash in on your hall pass with Rebecca and not say a thing, then you can stay out of my business."

Her words rang out in the hollow room, and Alex found his own hypocrisy tripping him up. There _was_ a double standard, no doubt. Still, he shook his head in denial.

"That isn't the point," he said quietly.

"Right. Of course it isn't. I'm projecting once again; a crazy woman screaming at a masterful cop. Look at her _go_!" She huffed loudly, bitterly.

"Norma, I don't want to—"

"You don't want to fight."

"No, I don't. I—"

"Of course you don't. You never intended for this."

"Will you quit mocking me?"

"Yes, how dare I," she said petulantly, throwing her hands in the air. "How dare I try to stick my foot into your personal life? Because that's _so_ wrong, because you haven't been doing this to me for as long as I can _remember_ —" she snapped. She felt herself grow warm and her cheeks flush. "You," she said, "are a hypocrite."

"I'm a hypocrite who cares about you, and that's all I'm going to say about this," said Alex curtly.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Whatever."

Alex thought he was losing his mind. Was that what it was always going to be like with her? They had been making such good progress. She had been so different the other night when they were together; it was almost as if she were a different person. Everything about her that night made him feel as though she really _did_ care for him, despite what her demeanour might suggest from time to time. Now with her lashing out again, he was beginning to doubt everything.

This intense version of her galled him as much as it frightened him. He didn't want to be just some man she slept with out of convenience and loneliness. He didn't want to only have been with her because she had decided to in a heat of the moment. He wasn't that kind of guy anymore, not since he had gotten to know her.

Alex wished he could just figure Norma out. He wondered how her parents used to stand her. _Probably spoiled her,_ he thought, and turned her into this free-flowing, mood-swing-embedded person that was standing in front of him now.

He discovered he loved her when she was a still day, and thought he would feel the same when she was a hurricane. Brought to the test, he knew he did. For some reason, he could never quit her. If only she could realise that his feelings for her were immovable as mountains, he thought. That would simplify everything.

But in this moment, on the very surface, he _was_ mad at her, and he picked up his coat from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Norma asked, feeling her diaphragm tighten.

"I'm leaving."

"Where to?"

She had demanded this, but he could hear the insecurity in her worried voice.

"Nowhere," he answered. "And what's it to you anyway? You don't want to me to know anything about your life, and vice versa."

Norma frowned. "I didn't say that."

"But I think you've made it perfectly clear," he said.

"If _that's_ how you want to interpret it."

Alex gave her a weary glance. He just needed to cool off now, but she was not letting it go. She was holding onto the last scraps of their argument with rigid adamance.

"Okay," he stated simply. "You always win, so you might as well have this one too," he said, and it marked the end of their conversation.

She watched as he walked out of her apartment with his coat still swung over his forearm; he hadn't even bothered to put it on. She wanted to tell him he'd catch a cold like that, but her pride stopped her from opening her mouth at all.

" _Fine_ ," Norma said under her breath after he had left. "Be that way."

She strode purposefully into her bedroom and closed the door behind her, enclosing herself in quietness. She sat down on the edge of her bed to calm herself down, and it didn't take long before she thought that the silence was unnerving and felt too aware of her own existence. She looked at the empty surface on her bedside table and thought about Alex's photo with Rebecca that he had framed.

Her own relationship with Zack didn't seem to be going anywhere, and she hoped it was the same with Alex's. She didn't know why she cared this much. It was just a photo. But their sun-dappled, smiling faces lingered in her mind, and she felt fat, hot teardrops roll down her cheeks, prickling her skin. She blinked them away so she could see clearly again, but didn't bother to fetch a tissue.

Norma suddenly felt dumb for having slept with Alex. She knew she shouldn't have done it, and the guilt was finally kicking in. He probably didn't care for her as much as he claimed he did. He just needed to keep her happy so she would keep quiet, and if he could derive some fun out of all of this, then why shouldn't he? He was a man after all, and men were all like that.

She looked at the little rings she wore on her hands, mindlessly twitching the one Zack gave her until she suddenly stopped and clenched her fist.

She had realised something: she wasn't just a liar anymore. As of a few nights ago, she was a cheater too. And what horrible titles they were to bear, all because she had made a stupid decision in her delirious drunkenness.

* * *

Alex kept Norma out of his reports. He decided now that Jane had met her, it was becoming a bit too real for him. Besides, this wasn't his personal diary. He couldn't just vent like that, unrestrained. There had to be boundaries.

He had other things to worry about too, now. He was met with a dilemma: whether or not to write about Rebecca. The truth was that it was staggeringly obvious Rebecca had ties to all of it; they only needed evidence, which had been tricky to obtain because she was cautious and meticulous and never left a trace of anything.

Alex thought he would derive immense satisfaction from catching her red-handed, but the night he had copied the files from her computer to his USB had just left him rattled. These documents he had were enough to incriminate her, and he would have to hand them over to Jane eventually, but he couldn't get past his own feelings for her.

Sure, he wasn't _in love_ with her. But they did have a good time together, and that must count for something.

Rebecca might seem stiff and unapproachable, but he thought what she _really_ was was a young woman who just wanted some security. For her, this came in the form of money. And maybe it was a terrible thing to sellout your values for cash, but on a realistic level, he thought he understood how she felt. If he had been offered an opportunity to earn triple the amount he was earning now, if this was some safety net he could fall back on and most likely wouldn't get caught doing it... he would have considered it too.

At the end of the day, Alex just didn't think Rebecca deserved to go to jail. Maybe if he just gathered a bit more information and found somebody else to put all the blame on... _that_ would work, wouldn't it? It didn't take long for his mind to be made up.


	13. Murky Territory

"I need to talk to you," Norma said urgently, nearly pushing past Alex the second he opened his door. She hadn't bothered to ask if Rebecca was around; she knew she would be away until Christmas Eve, which was not until the weekend.

"That's a way to say hello—" he responded, but she shushed him. He closed the door, and she was standing by his armchair when he reentered the living room. "Well, what is it?" he asked impatiently.

He was trying not to show he had been pleasantly surprised by her visit. Besides, something about the way she was acting was bothering him. She looked uneasy, her bright eyes glancing around the room nervously, unable to rest on one thing. It darted from the armchair to the couch, at him, and then onto the floor, before she shut her eyes completely, closing herself off from the sunlight that seeped in.

When she opened them again and started to speak, her voice sounded funny.

"I—" she sputtered. "Don't laugh at me, but I came here because I... I wanted to say I'm sorry."

Alex raised his eyebrows.

"I'm not going to _laugh_ —I'm just surprised," he said. "You—"

"I know, I know," she said. "Don't... don't give me that look either. It was hard for me to say that, but I _have_ thought it over, and it just didn't make sense for me to... lash out. I can admit when I'm wrong," she said quickly, all of her words tumbling out carelessly, even though she knew that the last part was not entirely true.

He paused, waiting for her to continue speaking, but she was done. She just looked at him expectantly, as though she was waiting for a bigger reaction.

"You came all the way here just to tell me that?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, "and don't say _'just'_."

"I meant that you could've texted me."

"Well, I just... I thought about that, but I just needed to see you, because... it seemed like a better idea," she said, and there was a humility in her voice that he had never heard before.

 _But it all made sense_ , he thought. She was, as usual, governed by her own overpowering emotions that seemed to spur her to do strange things. Yet it didn't matter. He was flattered by her comment, and now trying to hide the bashful smile that was slowly creeping onto his face. He guessed he had to forgive her now, didn't he? He could never stay mad at her anyway.

Alex rested a hand on his hip and stood there, perfectly poised.

"I'm..." he started, looking at Norma standing there in her magenta coat and grey wool scarf, wavering. She still looked uncertain in her asking for his forgiveness. "I forgive you," he said simply, quietly. She smiled, and he thought she looked beautiful.

"You know, I'm not just apologising for the hell of it—" she started to say, but he shushed her.

"We're having a moment," he said, and her smile grew a little bigger.

"Okay."

They stood like that in a satisfied silence, and Norma couldn't believe how easy it had been. She hadn't expected him to forgive her like that, because she was not used to being around people who... who _forgave_. People who let things go and moved on, people with healthy attitudes to platonic and romantic relationships. This was all very new to her, but she was pleased to be getting better.

Looking at Alex, she realised that whatever feelings she had for him were apparently enough to change her, no matter how gradually or minimally the changes came. The old Norma would have shut it down and lashed out again, out of fear and insecurity. She would never have allowed herself a moment of peace, because to have tranquility was to be passive, and to let your guard down was to invite danger to your doorstep. But this time, this calmness didn't bother her, and she let it wash over her without feeling a brooding sense of premonition.

"Since you're here," said Alex suddenly, and she snapped out of her own thoughts. She had been so overwhelmed she had forgotten where she was, and she had a feeling it was the same for him. "Can you tell me where your patch is? The—I suppose I should say _the_ patch, not _your_ —the one you shared with Rebecca and Shelby."

She looked at him in surprise, not knowing where he was taking the conversation. "I—well, it's just outside of town, in the middle of a serene place," she said dumbly, reciting the sign that she had driven past so many times.

"Do you think you can take me there?"

"I'm not sure why—"

"Norma, I don't want this to sound weird," he said, "but I thought about it, and I don't think you're just growing vegetables up there."

Norma looked offended for a moment, but she reminded herself to be reasonable. "What?" There was a flash of fear in her eyes, and she frowned. "Alex, you don't think— _no_. No, no, no. That's insane. You can't possibly think I've been growing pot unknowingly."

She laughed uneasily, a look of doubt spreading across her features. But he wasn't smiling along with her, and she knew he was serious. Her awkward smile faded.

"I really don't think so," she said. "I knew what we planted. I fetched the seeds myself."

"But did you plant them?" he asked. He tried to say it without accusation, because he didn't want her to misinterpret his words. He knew she would never knowingly grow marijuana plants; he was just afraid she had been unwittingly roped into it.

Norma shook her head. "I guess not." She recalled handing the seeds over to Zack, but didn't remember what happened after. She paused, and in the silence, bit by bit, memories came flooding into her head.

She had taken a walk to a little shop down the road because Rebecca was thirsty. Norma offered to fetch the water because she had been the only person who didn't have her wellies soaked in the soil, because they had told her it was okay for her to watch on the sidelines as she was new to all of it. So she ran off, and when she returned with three bottles of water, the seeds had been planted, and Zack and Rebecca looked exceptionally satisfied.

" _Christ_ ," Norma mumbled under her breath.

"Yeah," he echoed, though he wasn't sure what she was thinking about exactly. "Well, it's all guesswork for now. But why don't you take me up there and—and I guess we'll see for ourselves," he suggested.

She nodded, and felt her shoulders tense up in the most horrible way.

* * *

Norma knew the drive up there like the back of her hand. She had spent countless weekends with Zack and Rebecca, back when their friendship really seemed to be thriving, and she felt a twist in her stomach thinking about those memories. It hadn't even been that long ago. With the Christmas holidays, she had been yanked from the mundane routines that kept her grounded, and they left a curious, cirrus-cumulus sensation in her, like she had been floating amongst clouds.

Norma pulled up into the empty lot and was surprised to find that there were no volunteers walking around. Maybe they were on lunch break because it was such a weird time—it was twenty to one, and the sun beat down on the roof of her car. Alex had offered to drive, but she declined because she knew the way. Besides, she drove here often enough that people would recognise her and not get suspicious.

The volunteers had always seemed more like they were patrolling the grounds, and she used to think that it was ridiculous she would even find them intimidating at all, but now it made more sense. Of course they were really guards. Roger wouldn't leave this million dollar business unattended, even in a location as remote as this one.

Alex got out of the car as soon as Norma had turned off the engine, and she led him down the winding path to their little patch.

He hitched his trousers up slightly and squatted down to take a closer look at the shoots, and she stood up straight next to him, waiting for his response. He squinted as though he was trying to tell what they were, and he realised there were all sorts of different things growing together. He could recognise the shoot of the tomato plant, the small leaves of the strawberry plant, and, finally, the unmistakable—

"What?" Norma asked impatiently. She squinted in the sunlight and looked around, knowing they didn't have much time alone. "Is that it?"

He got up and looked at her. "I'm afraid so," he said. "Do you see that? That's the shoot, and these are some of the leaves... look, they're just coming up there."

Norma spotted the dull green leaves between the rest of the bright buds. "Yeah." She nodded. She couldn't believe it. There she was, tending to her plants every once in a while, only to discover now that they hadn't really been what she thought they were. She wasn't exactly an expert gardener, but she still felt stupid for having not noticed anything awry.

"They grow out here for a bit longer, and then they're brought indoors," said Alex, "because they're not going to get enough sunlight out here, and you'd need at least sixteen hours of light for them to really vegetate."

Norma didn't really know what he was talking about now, nor did she care to learn. She just wanted out of this situation, and she felt as though she might be sick.

Out of the corner of his eye, Alex spotted a group of people sauntering back from a distance, and he nudged Norma. She looked up and spotted them too, and she felt heavy with panic.

"They're the volunteers," she said, when she had really meant _guards_. She had just been too used to saying the former. "I'm—we're not supposed to be here right now."

"But don't they know you?"

"Yeah," she confessed. "But... oh, I don't know. We just need to go."

They hurried back up the path and slid into her car. To their relief, no one had spotted them, because they were all in high spirits from the extra long lunch they had just taken. It was something the volunteers always did when there was no one else around, just because they could, because they didn't really have anything else to do to occupy their time. Besides, they could afford it.

Norma started the engine in a hurry and drove out of the lot without knowing where she was heading.

* * *

"What are we going to do?" she asked when they were sitting in a run-down coffee shop afterwards. It was a quiet petrol station they had managed to find, and they felt comfortable enough to get seats outside because they didn't recognise anyone.

"Well, we're going to have to take your name off that patch first," said Alex, and she nodded solemnly. "Which shouldn't be too difficult. Just say you're opting out because you're busy, and the—the organisers will sort that out."

Norma nodded. "I don't think you have to inform anyone. You just do the paperwork. And I have the documents at home," she said, "I just need to go get them and we can have a read through everything."

"Okay," said Alex, satisfied with the idea.

"Don't you think they work for Roger, though?" she asked, recalling the acre of land and the smiling faces of the volunteers. "If you take my name off abruptly—I mean that if I suddenly opted out—they'd be suspicious. And Roger'd guess what's going on."

He considered this, and looked troubled. "So we really wouldn't have a lot of time once all of that gets going," he pondered aloud.

"No," she agreed. "We should stall until we figure out what we should do."

Norma couldn't help but be glad that he was finally letting her into his operation. She knew very clearly now that it was not a game, but she still felt the tingle of excitement, and a part of her still felt as though she was the protagonist of a Muriel Spark novel. She grew gravid with curiosity as to how the rest would unfold. She hoped for no casualties, but she knew that was not the way those novels ended.

They sat there for a while longer, basking in the sunshine, and at one point, a man came over to ask them for a light. Alex shook his head and apologised. The man turned to Norma, and she responded the same way as Alex. When the man had walked off in the other direction to ask someone else, Norma turned to Alex with an expression that brimmed with glee.

"So I guess you're not a smoker anymore," she commented as she wrapped her fingers around her nearly empty coffee cup.

"No," he said. "Well—I try not to do it anyway. Occasionally I will have a puff, because... because..."

"Withdrawals," she said. "I understand. I guess there's no rush."

Alex nodded, and Norma felt a rush of warmth in her heart kindle her. So he really had tried to quit smoking, and he was doing well. All because she had told him to do it. Though she had to remind herself that he wasn't really just doing it for her. Obviously, he was also doing it for his body. But the fact that he had heed her advice at all made her happy.

Alex must've seen the contented half-smile on her face, because he laughed.

"Don't give yourself all the credit," he teased, knowing exactly what she was thinking.

"I wasn't," she said thoughtfully. "I'm just... I'm touched, that's all." She looked at him and smirked. "But maybe I shouldn't even have suggested it. What would be charming about you now that your last streak of bad boy persona was gone?"

He rolled his eyes.

"I suppose I could always draw attention to my set of healthy, functional lungs," he said. "I hear people dig that stuff."

"Oh, yes," she nodded. "They would do very well on the black market, if you ever need any extra cash."

He laughed, and downed the last bit of his black coffee in one swift gulp. It had grown cold, but he didn't mind at all; in fact, he had hardly noticed it.

* * *

When Alex had consulted Jane about this, she had told him that it would be too high a risk for them to take Norma's name off right now.

"Things would have to move really quickly," she said. "And I'm just not sure we're ready yet."

Alex nodded. "I understand." He took a deep breath, and Jane looked at him.

"Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?" she asked. It was something she always said before she dismissed him, and she could tell from his demeanour that there was something on his mind.

It took Alex a moment to gather his thoughts, but then he did it. He told Jane that he wanted to keep Rebecca out of it. He paused, waiting for her response uneasily, but she had responded positively.

"After all, we only need to make a certain number of arrests," said Jane thoughtfully. She wasn't in love with his idea, but she didn't think it would hurt. "As long as we get Roger..."

"We will."

"We should be okay with letting Rebecca go," she said. "Do you have the USB with you?" she suddenly asked, which filled Alex with dread. He _did_ have the USB. He had it with him right now, in fact. He just wasn't sure if he was ready to hand it over, but now that Jane had green-lit his idea, he felt better. She was a woman who kept her word.

"Yeah," said Alex, fishing it out of his pocket. "It's just—" he started, and she nodded.

"Most of this stuff is against Rebecca, isn't it?" she asked rhetorically, and let out a perplexed exhale. "Never mind that. We'll work our way around it."

Alex nodded.

"Well, if that's all," said Jane. "Then I guess we'd better get cracking. New plan," she declared. She looked at Alex and shot him a small smile. "You ready to catch the bad guys?"

"I've never been more ready," he said, and he was telling the truth. He had been having such a good time with Norma, but all of that had been done in secrecy, tainted with feelings of shame and guilt, and he couldn't wait for this whole thing to be over so he could walk in the light again.

* * *

As expected, things did not take very long to escalate now that Norma and Rebecca's names had been taken off the documents.

Rebecca got an email about it the morning she was due to return to White Pine Bay, and when she had stepped off the coach, she was uneasy. She managed to make her way to Alex's, clutching her weekend bag tightly the whole journey.

"Does Zack know about this?" asked Alex off-handedly after she had settled in and talked about how her week had been. The conversation shifted to the documents, and when Rebecca questioned why her name had been taken off, knowing he must have something to do with it because Norma's had disappeared too, he couldn't deny it. Now he was trying not to stir the pot; he just needed to know as much as possible.

"About what?" asked Rebecca, frowning.

"The names."

"No," she said. "I just got the email—and he doesn't handle the paperwork anyway. I do."

"So no one else knows?"

"That's correct."

"Rebecca," said Alex. "Do me a favour," he continued, and she eyed him in suspicion. "Don't tell him about this."

She got up from his armchair and looked at him. He had never seen her so unnerved, and she had never been so afraid. She had only taken this job because she knew she wouldn't get caught, and wasn't Alex supposed to be on her side? She knew he got along with Roger, and Roger did not let anyone he didn't trust near him. She didn't understand where all of this was suddenly coming from, and she hated being kept in the dark.

"Why not?"

"Just don't."

"You're making me feel weird," she said, her voice slightly shaky. She crossed her arms across her chest in an attempt to establish authority, but all he did was avert his eyes. "Alex," she demanded. "What happened?"

He sighed. He couldn't keep her in this state. He had to let her know he was doing it for her own good, or she would run her mouth and ruin it all.

"Someone's going after you," he said in helpless earnesty. "I'm trying—I'm trying to get you out of this mess before it's too late."

"Who?" she asked, her breath caught.

"I don't know. What's important is that you're going to be out of this."

"Alex, don't lie to me," she said. "Where is all of this coming from?"

"You're fine now," he said, ignoring her. "If you keep quiet, it's going to blow over, and you're going to get out of this unscathed."

Rebecca didn't know what to make of this. It didn't surprise her that Alex knew about this underground affair; Roger must have finally confided in him. But it couldn't be that he had _just_ happened to discover it, and all of a sudden, there was a witch hunt. It was all happening too quickly, too coincidentally.

But at the same time, she knew herself, and she trusted her senses. If there really was something wrong with Alex, she thought, then she would have noticed it a long time ago. Her good eye had kept men out of her life for the longest time.

People often wondered why an attractive woman like herself, one who didn't have any detrimental habits and fatal flaws, had trouble dating and interacting with men. It wasn't that there hadn't been any pursuers; she just hadn't been able to trust any of them enough to let them into her life. She almost didn't bother with men, and the fact that she made an exception with Alex was a big step on her part.

She hoped she hadn't misjudged him this whole time. That would crush her more than she would like to admit. He just needed to tell the truth, and all would be forgiven. He could do that for her, couldn't he? After all, _she_ had been true.

"Alex..." she said, tiresome. "Please."

He looked worn down too, and he shrugged. "It's all sorted," he said, "and the more you know, the more it's only going to keep you up. Roger and I talked it through," he lied.

She pulled her lips into a tight line, unconvinced.

"Don't you want to be safe?" he asked. He thought he had done the right thing by helping her. Maybe she couldn't see it now, but she would soon.

"Of course I do," she said a little too quickly. "It's just—" She had so many questions she didn't know where to begin.

"You're not going to be let off easy if they catch you," he said. He walked over to her and enveloped her into a hug. "I care about you, that's all. From now on, I need you to stay away from this, and trust me."

Rebecca could smell the musk of his cologne, and in his arms, her doubts faded. Maybe he was right. Maybe she just needed to trust him. She had never been very good at that, but she could try.

* * *

Rebecca mulled over Alex's words for a long time later on.

She was alone in the apartment because he had popped out to get some groceries. He had said he was going to cook something for her tonight, to celebrate now that she was back. Even though he hadn't bothered to put up any Christmas decorations in the house, the atmosphere in town was contagious and must have rubbed off on him the days he had been alone, because he had left the house feeling cheery, abandoning the remnants of their unsettling discussion.

She stood and picked at the bath towel that hung on the back of the bathroom door mindlessly, debating whether or not she should hop in the shower for a quick pick-me-up, but her mind drifted back to their conversation.

Rebecca knew Alex had told her not to think about it anymore. But in the end, she realised that it might just be impossible for her to sit in silence with her hands swung idly on her sides. She wondered about Zack and what things would mean for him. Was he safe too? Alex hadn't mentioned anything about him, so she guessed not. His name was still on the documents, and with everything going on, he might be knees-deep in trouble.

She knew _her_ name was taken off. That _she_ was safe. So she had nothing to lose, really, by being selfish. Yet this blanket of security shrouded her in guilt.

Rebecca cast her eyes onto the tiles on the wall, and caught a glimpse of something that shined. It seemed to have been trapped between the towel rack and the wall, and she frowned, peering in for a closer look. She reached in, and her slender fingers brushed against something. It was a brown eyeliner she didn't recognise, and her stomach dropped.

* * *

 **AN: ANOTHER UPDATE, A MERE TWO DAYS LATER? Hope that didn't send anyone into cardiac arrest. I decided to write this because I am still really sorry. Also because I've spent my entire weekend trying to write an essay and my brain is turning to mush. I need dialogue! Action! Love! Bravery! Something entirely fanciful! Not Hippocrates telling me _ars longa, vita brevis._ But that man did have some very good points, so I can't really be mad at him. I can only be mad at myself for being an English undergrad. In this economy too, no less. Oh dear.**


	14. Christmas Eve

**AN: I'm back! Hope everyone's enjoying November.**

* * *

Norma heard a tinkling sound coming from the bedroom, and she looked up from her plate. It was Christmas Eve, but for her and Zack, it meant a quiet evening in. He had suggested they go ice-skating, but she decided against it. There would be so many people in the town centre, she had said, and she didn't feel like spending time with anyone else. Maybe they could just stay in and watch old films together. He had looked a bit dejected, but got over it quickly.

"What's that sound?" she asked.

Across the table and through the dim light from the three candles between them, Zack looked at her and dropped his utensils onto his plate. They landed with a loud clang, and she winced. "That's my phone." He began to get up, and reached for a napkin to wipe his mouth hastily. "Sorry, baby—" he started, "I know we said no phones at the table. It's just that it might be my dad—"

"No, no," said Norma, bringing the wine glass to her lips. "I understand." She took a sip and gave him a reassuring smile.

Zack shot her a quick grin and ducked out of the room. When she was alone, Norma picked at the peas on her plate. She didn't feel like eating. She felt rather restless, but she shouldn't; she was the one who had decided they should stay in, and he had said yes _and_ cooked this wonderful meal.

She couldn't hear what was going on in the other room; just muffled speech. His voice was hushed, and she started to eavesdrop because she had nothing else to do. But then there came a point when she didn't have to anymore, because he had raised his voice by a notch.

"What do you mean—" She heard him say. "No, no. I don't think—no, I told you. Calm down. It isn't going to—"

"What?" he asked. "Yes, I'm alone right now. I said I'm _alone_. Hold on—"

Zack walked over to close the bedroom door, and he glanced at Norma across the hall, who averted her eyes as soon as she had been caught prying. She looked down onto her plate and pretended to focus on cutting up the pieces of lamb.

She couldn't hear anything for the next five minutes, and then there was a loud bang. It sounded as though Zack had kicked something, and she jumped.

When he re-emerged in the dining room, his hair was slightly ruffled, and he looked as though he was having a hard time.

"Everything okay?" asked Norma cautiously, observing the way he hadn't bothered to sit down. "I didn't mean to—you just sounded a bit..." She didn't know what to say, so she just trailed off.

Zack didn't answer, not right away. He looked at her in a blank stare, like he had suddenly forgotten who she was and why she was in his house, and then he shook his head as if to clear it. "No, everything's fine. Everything's—" he choked on his own words a little, and when she looked at him, there was a vengeful flash in his eyes.

Sitting on the other end of the glass table, she tensed up slightly. She had seen that look on men before, and even though it had only been there for a split second, she knew something was amiss. She could recognise the kind of look from a mile away. It was one that entailed abhorrence. It reeked of the kind of anger that boiled from the top of someone's head to the ends of their toes, sparking every nerve on its way. Years later, it still sent chills down her spine.

 _This look never amounted to anything good_ , she thought, and her grip on her fork tightened.

Whoever that had been on the phone, it hadn't been a pleasant conversation. She wondered if it had anything to do with her at all, the way his eyes bore into her with such intensity. He had never looked at her like that before. She thought at once that she needed to calm him down, and she suddenly wished she had bothered to put on red lipstick, because that always worked with men. It would certainly work with him.

Then, as suddenly as he had flared up, Zack smiled, and she exhaled quietly. She didn't even realise she had been holding her breath. She was still on edge, but a smile had to mean that not everything was at a loss.

"Why don't you sit back down?" suggested Norma hesitantly. "Your dinner's going to go cold."

"Yeah..." he started. He made his way back to his seat, and he was about to sit down when he shook his head. "No. Norma," he said suddenly.

"Yes, honey?" She gave him a bashful smile, the one she knew he liked.

He put a hand to his temple and thought hard. "I—I can forgive you for almost anything you do, just by virtue of that sweet face of yours..." he said. His words sent her mind whirring, but the smile on her face didn't move an inch.

"What are you talking about?" she asked innocently.

"No, baby, come on—" he said. He sounded as though he didn't want to have this conversation, and she didn't blame him. Who would want to, on Christmas Eve, of all nights? "I think you know what I'm talking about."

Zack had raised his voice a little, out of sheer frustration that she wasn't cooperating. It wasn't supposed to go like this. She wasn't supposed to play dumb. How long had she planned on hiding it from him, acting like everything was fine? He still hadn't sat down, and he wasn't planning to now. He felt better when they weren't at eye-level, when he was talking down to her. It made him feel more confident.

"Please don't lie to me," he said, and it sounded more like a threat than a plea.

"I'm not lying to you," she said, her smile fading. She didn't like the way he was talking to her, and she wasn't afraid to let him know that. "And I haven't lied to you," she insisted.

He looked doubtful, even though he had just learned the immutable truth ten minutes ago.

"Not even by omission?" he asked, hopeful. She could still turn this around now. In fact, he was giving her another chance to do it.

Norma's mind buzzed in a million places, and she wondered what it was exactly that he had just found out. Of course she could just cough it all up and confess, and then beg for forgiveness with a great round of sex; she had a feeling that was what he would have liked. But she couldn't proceed without knowing what he knew. What would she confess? The part where she had cheated on him with Alex, or the whole damn undercover operation?

"No, not even that," she said firmly. "Baby, won't you—"

"Don't call me _baby_ ," Zack snapped. "After what you've done." He was losing his patience, thinking she was being especially difficult.

Norma was torn. She wished he could just be a bit more _precise_. For a split second, she wanted to laugh at the absurdity of all of this. Here she was, being accused of something, and she didn't even know what. How terrible of a person _was_ she?

Exhausted of her options to be coy with him, she could only push the blame on him in the most straightforward way: to accuse him of ruining everything by being drunk. It was risky, but it wasn't exactly unviable.

"Listen," she said authoritatively, looking at the half empty bottle of wine on the table between them, and then at him again. "I think you've had quite the amount to drink tonight, and it's obviously hit you the wrong way. You're standing here accusing me of something I didn't do, and I don't know what you want me to say to all of this."

She made a scene of dropping her utensils onto the table, and he looked bewildered for a moment. She thought it had worked, but then his face shifted and he looked menacing.

"No, I'm very sober," he responded, walking towards her. "And— _God_ , Norma! What the hell is wrong with you? Here I am, trying to give you all these goddam chances to come clean, and you _just won't take them_."

She pushed her chair back in reflex. Its metal legs scratched against the polished wooden floorboards with a squeak, and she racked her brain, wondering how she could defend herself from him if anything were to happen.

Of course there was the knife she was using, but it was puny—it wouldn't do a thing. Or she could just run, or _scream_... but she had seen his neighbours' car pull out of the driveway an hour ago, and she knew they wouldn't be back so early if they were anywhere near the town centre. Screaming would be futile; there would be no one around to hear her...

Despite her reasoning, she let out an unfettered scream anyway as he lunged towards her and swept the tableware away from her reach. He knew what she had intended to do, and he was one step ahead of her. She got up swiftly from her seat, as quickly as her high heels would allow her, just as he was about to grab her by the wrist. She ran into the living room in full panic, and he followed predatorily, as though he had gone berserk.

And maybe he had. He didn't understand why she had to lie, and her readiness to cover each lie with a new one made him doubt everything about their relationship. He was still very fond of her, but it was becoming clear that she was not as naive as she had presented herself to be. He felt a bit like a fool for falling for her act so completely.

 _She must have relished that,_ he thought. That must have been what she always laughed about with Alex. He could imagine it now. The two of them whispering, 'Look at _Zack_. What an obtuse kid. He has _no_ idea what's going on. Alright—your place or mine?' Followed by fits of giggles, no less.

He felt murderous at the thought.

"Where are you going?" he yelled, standing by the doorway of the living room. He flicked on the light switch and saw that she was cornered; she had nowhere else to go.

Norma leaned against the back wall, and she could feel her heart beating against her chest. Maybe she shouldn't have provoked him after all. When would she learn?

"I'm not angry with you," said Zack. He was trying to coax her into submission, but his aggressive tone betrayed his words completely. "Come over here," he ordered, but she wouldn't budge. She needed to be as far away from him as possible, and her knees felt too weak for her to move.

"I said _come here_ ," he pressed on urgently, and she shook her head, unable to get a word out. Her palms were held against the grey wall, and she could feel them clamming up. "God damn it. Won't you just do as you're told?"

Norma closed her eyes when she saw his hands coming towards her. He seemed awfully concerned with her face, and she could feel his breath on her skin when his own was just inches apart from hers.

"Let me just—" he started, holding her face with both hands. He pressed his body against hers to keep her still. The whole time, she struggled to break free, but he was taller than she was and heavier, and all she could do was writhe powerlessly beneath him. "Of _course_ ," he said snidely, fixating on her eyes. "Of course it's brown."

"What?" she breathed. She had no idea what he meant by that. She just knew that if she didn't stop him now, if she stopped resisting, things could only go south. So she gathered her strength and tried to push him off.

"Get _off_ me," she said, batting his hands away from her face. " _Zack_ , I'm serious. If you ever— _ever_ —"

Zack took no notice, just pushed against her even harder, and she fell back further. She felt the back of her head hit the wall, but she didn't have time to react or even let out a yelp, because he had grabbed her by her wrists and pinned them together above her head. _Just the way he liked it_ , she thought. And she should never have let him do that to her, not even once, but she didn't have that much self-respect and was so desperate to please.

 _Stupid woman_ , she cursed herself silently now. _Stupid, stupid, stupid, for letting your guard down, for believing anybody out there could be a good person._

His free hand grabbed her jaw, and she let out a cry of pain from the jolt.

"Why would you lie to me?" Zack asked. He let out a disgusted snarl. "You know I hate liars. Say, I bet you had fun fucking Alex."

As soon as she heard that, she breathed a sigh of relief. So Zack had only known about this part, and nothing about the operation. She didn't say anything, just looked away while she remained sandwiched between him and the wall.

"Here I am," he said, "trying my damned hardest to keep you happy, to keep you _interested_ , and you were fucking someone else the entire time!" He let out an empty, airy laugh.

"It only happened _once_ —"

"But it happened," he said, and his eyes glistened at her confession. "You've run out of lies, haven't you?"

Zack put one free hand on her throat and tightened his grip. For a second she really did think he was going to kill her right there and then. She kicked at him ferociously in retaliation, but it didn't seem to have any effect on him at all.

Then Norma realised that he wasn't going to kill her. He would never be capable of killing; he was too much of a pretty boy to murder. He didn't like the work that came with it, didn't like the idea that it would stain his impossibly pristine life. And she was right. After bouts of choking, he loosened his grip and she found herself gasping for air at the sweet release.

Still, she had to plea her way out, and she did.

" _Zack_ —" she said between hiccups. "I didn't mean to—" She twisted her hands which were still held down by him, but he was much stronger than she was and it didn't get her any freer. "Sweetheart, I _promise_ I didn't mean to—"

"Did he send you the flowers too?" he asked in spiteful jealousy.

"What? _No_ ," she said. She noticed the vengeful look in his eyes, and her own were wide in alarm. "I _swear_ —"

"So who else have you been fucking?" he asked, and he sounded exasperated.

The way he had phrased it like that, as though she just climbed into bed with anybody who bothered to give her a second glance, offended her.

"Nobody!" Norma exclaimed frantically. "It's been you," she coaxed him, hoping to get on his good side again, somehow. "It's always been you, honey, and it's just you."

"Well—"

"Honest," she reassured him, her heart as flighty as a bird. "No more lies."

Her words seemed to have struck a chord with Zack and he looked pleased.

He had wanted to believe her, even though he knew how stupid he was being. Of _course_ it would happen again. He knew how liars worked. You did it once, and you couldn't get enough. But he chose to believe in her, because those clear blue eyes were crying now, and it broke his heart.

It was Alex he ought to be angry about. Alex must have waited for the right opportunity, and once he found it, hurt _everyone_.

"Did he hurt you?" Zack mustered, softening just a little, and Norma shook her head.

"No."

He let go of her wrists, and her arms dropped to her sides immediately. She rubbed them with care, trying to get rid of their redness.

"Were you drunk?"

"Yes—" she started, but another hiccup got caught in her throat. She folded her hands in front of her, her left hand still holding on to her right wrist.

He studied her tear-stained face, as though he was searching for an honest answer.

"Can you admit that it was a mistake?" he asked.

Norma looked at the floor. " _Please_ —can't we get back to dinner?" she asked quietly. She knew there was no dinner to get back to, but she could pretend.

"Answer the question. Was it a mistake?"

She swallowed hard and looked up at him. She had nowhere to run, and she was torn between lying and telling the truth. Something in her brain flickered, and she found herself wondering how angry Zack would get if she were to say that _no_ , _it was_ _not a mistake_. She couldn't explain this compulsion she had that forced her to bring out the worst in people. Maybe it was to prove herself right that humanity _was_ awful, or maybe she was just so traumatised that she could no longer make rational decisions. However twisted it was, she couldn't help herself.

"No," Norma said before she could stop herself. "I think I rather liked it."

* * *

Alex wondered what Norma was doing. He wondered if she was with Zack, and then realised it was a stupid question. Of course they were together. Who else would she spend Christmas Eve with?

He was chopping up the carrots in neat, precise circles, and he had been so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed Rebecca had slipped out of the kitchen for a while. It wasn't until he had started speaking to her and there was no response that he realised she wasn't there.

As suddenly as she had walked out, Rebecca sauntered back in minutes later with a rather flushed look.

Hearing the sound of footsteps, Alex turned around and glanced out from the corner of his eye. He couldn't make out her demeanour, but at least she was there with him now.

"Hey," he said, shifting his attention back on the carrots. When he was done, he gathered the tomatoes and the lone onion that threatened to roll off the edge of the counter. "Where were you? You missed the best part; I was singeing the fish—"

He glanced backwards once again to see what she was doing, and his voice dropped. She looked sour and had not even bothered to hide it.

"I was just... in the other room," she concluded. She let out a small shrug like it was nothing, but he could tell, almost immediately, that there was something wrong.

"What were you... doing?" he asked, putting the onion back down onto the chopping board. She eyed the knife he was holding briefly, before she glanced back at him.

There was an air of suspense between them, and he thought she would never tell him the truth, but she surprised him. She hung her head a little, almost as if she felt ashamed.

"Alex," Rebecca began to say, and he frowned. He didn't like the way this was heading.

"Yes?" he asked slowly. He remembered to put the knife down, and he nudged it into the sink to let her know he would never hurt her. She noticed what he was doing and was grateful for it.

"I told him," she said simply, and then added quickly, "How could you do this to me?"

"What? What are you talking about? What did you tell hi— _who_?"

He was hurling all sorts of questions at her, and her frown etched deeper onto her forehead as her distaste for him grew stronger. He wiped his hands onto a kitchen towel nearby and looked at her solemnly.

"Zack," she sputtered. "I told him."

"You didn't tell him about... well, everything, did you?" He was alarmed.

"No," she shook her head, and it left him confused. "It was..." she paused, and fished out a brown eyeliner from behind her back. "It was actually about this."

Alex squinted to get a better look. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"It's not mine, that's what," she said bitterly, and he felt his breath caught.

 _But it couldn't be_ — _no. It couldn't be hers. She would never have been so careless._

Alex shook his head. "It's not like that."

"But it was," she said. "It's exactly like that." She put the eyeliner on the surface of the kitchen island between them, and he felt his stomach tense up. It was so painfully obvious who it belonged to that he didn't bother to clarify. Saying her name out loud would just make things worse.

"Rebecca—"

"I knew," she said, sounding crushed. "I knew she was close to you. But I turned a blind eye to all of it because I just never thought something like this would come from you. You, of all people," she added.

"No, _listen_ ," said Alex, walking over to where she stood. She backed away even though she knew he would never touch her without her consent. "I can explain—" he started, and then closed his eyes in frustration. He had to admit that he _was_ slightly relieved she had not told Zack about _the other thing_ , but this wasn't exactly a good spot to be in either. He looked at her and primmed up his lips, trying to select the right words.

 _We were just drunk,_ thought Alex. That was why they had been so careless. But he shouldn't be defending himself. He had clearly messed up, and he shouldn't be trying to justify it. It wasn't that Rebecca shouldn't have found out about him and Norma. It was more like they shouldn't have done it at all. If they had just kept their hands off each other, there would have been nothing to find out.

"Save it," she said, tiresome. "I know I should be angry with you, but after talking about it with Zack—I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at you." She looked at him hopefully. She didn't know why she was feeling so nervous about this. He was the one who had cheated on her, and she had the right to be angry with him.

Alex stiffened at the mention of Zack. If Rebecca had _just_ rung him...

"I'm sorry," said Alex abruptly, and she was surprised by his interruption. "I know this is wrong of me to ask, not at this time anyway, but—" he paused. If she was going to start shouting at him, then so be it. "When you called him and told him about it, he wasn't mad, was he?" He sounded a little too concerned, but he didn't care.

"I—I guess he was. I don't know," said Rebecca in confusion. She was busy trying to patch things up with him, but he was too distracted to really notice. "I don't mean to break them up, if that's what I've done. Alex, you _have_ to tell me you understand. There were all sorts of things going on in my head!" she said, her voice a little louder. "You don't know how I felt—"

Alex hadn't bothered listening to the rest of what she had said. He was only thinking about Norma now. From his observation of Zack, he gathered he had childish tendencies and poor impulse control, despite trying his best to curate a sunny reputation.

Alex remembered how Zack had once destroyed a student's Physics project because he had been frustrated with his own affairs. This was a year ago. The 3D model had crumbled under his fist, and at that time, Zack showed no remorse. He did apologise to the student, but only because he had to, and only after he had made up some silly excuse about how _someone else_ had been the one to ruin the model.

So Zack was temperamental and prone to violence, and Alex knew all about it. He had always had a bad feeling about it, which he guessed was why he had regarded him so terribly. He realised he even worried about Rebecca sometimes, whenever she was alone with Zack. Now, Alex felt his heart race at the idea of Norma being left alone with him after that phone call. How could he have let this happen?

"How mad?" he asked, and shot Rebecca a desperate glance.

He didn't expect it to, but his message had somehow gotten through to her, and she figured out in an instant why he was worried. It was clear, from the time they spent together, that she knew about Zack's bouts of violence too. And now it dawned on her that she might not have picked a worse time to drop a bomb like that on Zack.

"Forget dinner," she suddenly said, putting aside her own feelings as she felt a surge of panic rise in her chest. She had made up her mind. Whatever they were going to work through could be saved for later. She reached over and turned off the electric stove. "Let's just say we need to go. _Now._ "

* * *

 **AN: This chapter was difficult to write. I couldn't find my footing and the pace was so confusing to me that I just ended up rewriting it over and over because I wasn't satisfied. I'm still not entirely sure what I am doing.**

 **Also, I know we all want Rebecca to just bugger off, but I guess I can't bring myself to really hate her. At the end of the day, she's just another person caught in an awful situation. Not that the rest of the characters aren't, but I suppose the bottom line here is that... we all deserve better than a fake boyfriend who's stinkingly obviously in love with someone else. Haha. But really, that's about as grim as it gets.**


	15. Ambuscade

**AN: Hi, a trigger warning: this chapter contains violence and sexual assault.**

* * *

The big, expensive car tore through the empty roads at a dangerous speed. Alex held on tight to the inside of the car door. He knew that a crash at this speed would have to be fatal, but he didn't care that much about his own mortality as much as he was nervous.

Neither of them spoke for a while, and then Rebecca let out a loud exhale and it spurred him into a spiral of contempt that he knew had to be expressed.

"Could you have picked a worse time to fuck it all up?"

This wasn't a question, nor an invitation for her to respond. It was merely the beginning of the fight, and she knew and took it as a challenge.

"I didn't know Norma was going to be there," she fired back, immediately defensive, and he clicked his tongue loudly, crudely. He looked at her in disbelief.

"You amaze me. Where the hell did you think she was going to be on Christmas Eve? Frolicking solo down by the lake, catching guppies with her bare hands?"

Rebecca kept her eyes affixed on the road in front of her. She turned up her headlights so she could see better as she drove down a small lane.

"No. And don't yell at me," she snapped.

"Don't you realise what you've done?" asked Alex. "Do you or do you not?"

He didn't care that he was shouting at her now, and that she winced when he spoke. He didn't care about anything that had to do with her anymore. He felt an acute sense of disgust towards her, which grew into a fiery anger he could barely contain. He would have thrown her out of the car had she not been the one behind the wheels.

Alex's mind was going into overdrive at the thought of the scene that would confront him. He needed to know that Norma was okay, and he hated himself for being a stickler for the rules. He should just have told her how he felt when he had the chance—now he was worried sick, and he knew Rebecca was going as fast as she could, but it never seemed to be fast enough, and these roads were painstakingly long and winding.

"You are a fucking idiot," he said in disdain. He looked away. "And I hate you for doing this. I do. In this moment, I hate you so much I could _strangle_ you, and that's only the tip of the iceberg."

"Well why don't you do it then?" she murmured in retaliation.

Alex felt another pool of anger rise up in him and he slammed a clenched fist onto the dashboard. It made her jump, but only slightly, and she leaned away from him instinctively. He didn't apologise, didn't even indicate he was sorry at all, because he wasn't. If that made her uncomfortable, then she should imagine the position she had just put Norma in.

"I'm sorry, okay?" cried out Rebecca in exasperation. "I know how you feel."

"You have no idea how I feel right now."

She carried on. "I didn't know it would escalate"—but she did—" _honest_ "—but she wasn't. "I didn't know Zack'd go _ballistic_ —"

"But you _did_ ," he said, as if he was completing her thought for her. "You two are practically sewn together at the ribs. You _knew,_ you knew he had a propensity for violence. You did it anyway, and I'll never forgive you if anything happens to her."

His words were bilious with rancour, and it terrified her that he meant every one of them.

Alex squirmed. He hated sitting next to her like this, with their bodies only inches apart. He was so repulsed by her now that he could not stand breathing the same air as her, as if she contaminated it just by coexisting with him inside this hermetic environment.

He held his gaze away from Rebecca. He thought that if he so much as glanced in her direction now, it would set him in a seething rage that he could not control, and the last thing he needed was her blood on his hands.

Here he was, pulling ropes and skirting around the law trying to help her get out of her own mess, and that was how she had chosen to thank him. It was downright despicable, and he should never have felt any sympathy for her at all.

Rebecca had never seen Alex like this before—so mad, so frustrated, so helpless. He was usually stiff and distant, perpetually stoic, and she knew better than to provoke him.

She just kept her eyes on the road and her grip on the wheel and drove. Her foot was digging hard onto the accelerator, and she knew she was well over the speed limit now, but he would never forgive her if she so much as slowed down by a bit. In fact, she knew that they had passed the point of forgiveness the moment she made that call. The thought made her gut wrench, and her own heart was pulsing so loudly she thought it might beat out of her chest.

There was nothing but ire between the two of them, and even then, Alex had been so preoccupied with thoughts of Norma that he had failed to care if it made Rebecca uncomfortable. He watched as street signs rolled past them in a blur, and he could only do his best to not lose his mind.

* * *

 _"What?"_

There was disbelief in Zack's voice, and Norma knew she was treading on very thin ice. Any moment now, the slippery surface would cease to contain her, and it would break and send her hurtling down the freezing water. She knew of the consequences, and yet in that moment, she hated him so much that she didn't care what they were.

So let him have her, she thought bitterly. It only proved her own point that men _were_ terrible, that they turned violent and sadistic the minute something went wrong, that she hated each one with as much spite as she had hated her own father and brother. Each threat he hurled at her in the form of menacing glances only affirmed her beliefs.

She wanted to ruin him. She wanted to set him off like an explosion.

"I said I liked it," spat out Norma with a righteousness that infuriated him.

She tired him out with her games. He had no politeness left in him to wring out, and his congeniality would not hold. They had expired like sour milk, and his love for her had been impaired by her betrayal. He realised his decency had left him within and without, and it was best that he abandoned it now, before she found a way to use that to her advantage too.

It ignited something primal in him, and with them standing so close to each other, he suddenly wanted to fuck her—hard.

So he put his hands on her, and in one swift motion, lifted her whole body and slammed her against the couch. The plush cushioning saved her head from impact, and the moment she fell backwards she felt as though she was sinking into the material. She let out a yell which he ignored.

Norma had felt brave only a moment ago when she was challenging him, but now that he was actually putting his thoughts into motion, something in her body trembled and her mind rebelled against her heart. She felt fear course through her, and she began to react the only way she knew how. She tried to push him away because she was afraid of the scene that was quickly unfolding, afraid of her past history that was being resurrected right before her very eyes.

"No, _wait_ —" Norma panicked. Everything was descending into chaos, and she was clawing at him frantically. "Zack, no. Wait, I didn't mean to—"

"To do what?" he snarled. He was sitting directly on top of her, as though he was straddling her, and she felt a dull pain on her hipbone as it grated against his belt. "To ruin everything?"

"No."

He was unsure what she meant by that simple word that hung between them, unexplained, but he didn't care to find out.

 _By God_ , he thought when he looked at her matted lashes and fuchsia lips that had been pulled into a helpless downturn. She _was_ beautiful, even if she was a lying, manipulative woman who had caused much more harm than either of them had intended. Even in her stubbornness, he couldn't help but marvel at the way she was built. And maybe the fact that she was beautiful made him want to hurt her. He imagined she would be beautiful even with her face crumpled up in agony, and he knew she would be beautiful with her arms bent out of shape.

This set him going. He was aroused.

Zack mauled at Norma, ignoring the rigidness of her shocked body. He pulled up her dress so roughly that there was a loud rip of the fabric as it tore open, stunned by the violence. He dug into her neck hungrily and she struggled to pull away from him. She hoped to slide off the couch somehow, but its texture seemed to work against her and kept her stuck firmly in place. She looked around tactfully for anything she could hit him with, but there were none. The spotless coffee table rested on a clean, grey rug that served no purpose.

" _Zack_ ," she coughed out the single syllable while he manhandled her viciously. "No, _please_ , I don't want this," she managed to say, "I never wanted it! I _never_ —"

She lay there, screaming and kicking with all her might, trying to find something that would ease her off the pain he was causing her. She felt one of her high heels catch between two cushions, and she fought to free it.

" _Yet you wanted it with Alex,_ " he whispered crudely, grabbing ahold of her flailing arms once again. He took his thin belt off hastily and tied it around her wrists so she could not move. When his hands were free, they were summoned to roam her body as though he had lost control of all of his senses, as though he was finally admitting that this was the person he really was.

" _Stop,_ " she said. She drew back when he kissed her roughly. She rubbed her wrists together in an attempt to undo the knot, but he had secured them against each other, and her struggling only generated friction. "No, please, _please, Zack_ —you're hurting me..."

"Isn't that the way you like it?" he breathed, panting slightly. He could barely take it anymore, and he pulled her underwear down. He had wanted to remove them entirely, but they had gotten caught in her high heels so he didn't bother.

 _Besides,_ he thought, _that way she couldn't kick at him anymore, which would make things easier._

"No!" she shrieked. "No, please, _stop_ —" she quivered, and felt a lump in her throat.

It frightened Norma how Zack had changed just like that, so rapidly. It was as if he hadn't really been himself at all for the past few months, and she had guided out the real persona. She could not bear to look at him anymore. She turned away, which displeased him, and he jolted her face in place. He wanted to look at her. He wanted to savour every last bit of her reaction.

"I knew it," Zack suddenly said, as if to himself. He dipped lower to give her kisses on her collarbone while she started to cry. His lips felt like sandpaper on her skin. "I see Alex looking at you sometimes—" he mumbled indistinctly, "and I just know what he's thinking. I don't blame him." He looked up at her and let out a lopsided grin. "I mean, look at you. But he took what's mine and I don't like to share," he said conclusively, wedging a hand between her legs to spread them.

"He _didn't_ —he didn't take," she started to say as she resisted him, but he was strong and had no trouble prying her legs open. He undid his zipper and an acute sense of dread washed over her. She felt the blood drain from her face and her lips go dry.

Norma was about to let out a scream when he plunged into her, but instead she let out a sharp exhale that sounded like air being sucked out of a balloon. Her lower lip trembled and she felt pain.

"He did. And if you let him do this to you, you'd let me. After all, _I'm_ the one you're dating..." his words were callous, and all her intentions of screaming came out as rapid gasps, which turned into a muffled, convulsive sobbing she could not stop.

" _Please,_ " she whimpered as she lay limply beneath him. "No, no, Zack, please, _stop_ —" She was blubbering now, but she had to resist.

Zack was not being gentle, not one bit. Far from it, in fact, and he showed no signs of stopping. "You really played me for a fool, Norma Bates," he said as he looked at her right in the eyes, which made her flinch. She held her gaze for a moment, out of defiance, though she was in so much pain that she could barely focus. "And you have to know there are consequences for that sort of thing."

"I hate you," she said through gritted teeth. "I hate you, I hate you, _I hate you_..." she repeated these words to the rhythm of his hips until they were just sounds, and at last she shut her marble-blue eyes, willing everything to go dark. The last thing she heard before she tapped out was a sinister snarl that dribbled in cruel consciousness.

"If I don't teach you, darling, _how will you ever_ _learn_?"

* * *

Alex almost leapt out of the car before it had come to a halt. Rebecca had pulled into Zack's spacious driveway, and sure enough, Norma's car was there.

The gravel kicked against Alex's shoes as he sprang up the few steps of the front porch and straight to the door, which he found to be double-locked. _Of course_. A predator must always seal in his prey securely. His mind raced; there had to be another way in. He regretted not acquainting himself with Zack. If he had been to his house even once, he would have been able to memorise his floor plan. It would have made everything so much easier.

But he didn't know any of this would happen, did he? Who would have anticipated such a horrible thing?

He ran to the side where there was a window, and there was a dim light that radiated outwards. His vision was shielded by the translucent curtains and all he could see were blurred, undistinguished lumps. He knew better than to rap on the window. He could do it with all his might, but he still wouldn't be able to break the glass. The window was double-glazed, designed with the intention to trap heat in the midst of the harsh winters the town experienced.

Alex thought he at least had the upper hand; Zack had no idea that he was outside. One couldn't possibly defend himself well when one wasn't prepared.

He suddenly heard a blood-curdling scream coming from inside the house and tensed. He recognised that it belonged to Norma, and it sent a crack down his heart that broke it into two, sure and rapid as being struck by lightning.

He was jolted out of his momentary paralysis when Rebecca appeared next to him, out of breath, her hair entangled. She had heard Norma's scream too, and she was putting aside her differences with Alex just this once, in this moment alone.

"I know where he keeps the spare keys—" she pattered, and he stared at her blankly, as if she was an idiot.

"Don't tell _me,_ " he rasped, " _run_."

Rebecca nodded and flew off the steps of the porch to get to the backyard. In the night, everything looked different, and it took her a minute to get where she needed to be. _Third one from the left, third one from the left..._ she repeated to herself as though it was a personal mantra. She squinted and rustled through the potted plant. She felt the metal against her fingertips and dug the set of keys up from the soil hastily, not caring that the dirt was getting under her nails.

While she was gone, Alex paced the porch. He was hearing too much, even from the little snippets of their voices that spilled out from beneath the gaps in the house. Norma sounded entirely frightened, powerless, and Zack was rapidly descending into a madness that threatened to demolish her.

Alex didn't even have to think to know what Zack was doing to her. He hoped Rebecca would hurry up. Anger lurched in his stomach, and he wanted nothing more than to break inside immediately to save her. _Then_ , he thought, he would stab Zack, repeatedly and without remorse. He would watch the blood trickle out of his body in wild, undisciplined spurts, and he would be satisfied.

" _You liked it._ "

Alex heard Zack's voice tear through the house, followed by Norma's sobs, mediated by terror. There were more cries of resistance and pleas for him to stop, but Zack's voice pierced through them all.

" _Did you let him touch you like this too? Did you?_ "

Inside the house, Zack had been aware of Alex for a while now. Of course he had. He was not daft as everybody liked to think he was. That had always been a problem—people treated him like he was a child, as though he was not capable of the simplest of tasks. Well, he was showing them now. He was showing them all how things were done in this house, under this roof.

He had heard the sound of a car pulling into his driveway, the unmistakable turning off of the engine, and then seen Alex's silhouette as he paced the porch in urgency. And all of this had only sparked his cruelty. It had only made him want to humiliate Norma more now that he had an audience. He wanted a better reaction than what she was giving him, and he knew he was going to get it from Alex.

Rebecca returned and handed Alex the keys in a fumble.

 _She was not doing it_ , her eyes seemed to say to him as she shot him a look. _She was not going to run inside first._ But it didn't matter to him. He wasn't expecting her to.

"No, the big one on top—" she urged him quickly while she watched him juggle the two keys. He did as he was told, and then unlocked the bottom one too, as soon as he could. The door clicked and Alex flung it open. He grabbed a vase on top of the shoe cabinet in the hallway and poured out its contents, flooding the carpet with flowers that he trampled over. He made a beeline towards the living room. Rebecca followed behind him, but changed course halfway and ran upstairs instead.

Zack had not anticipated this break-in, and he had had his back to the door when Alex entered.

Alex ran over and swung the giant vase onto the back of Zack's head. The neat swerve struck him in full force, and he let out a howl of pain. He clutched the back of his head as it throbbed relentlessly, and he fell onto the floor. Blood gushed onto the rug and seeped in its fibres; they soaked it up dutifully.

Norma was startled by the unexpected blow and Zack's growl of pain, and she let out an involuntary shriek.

Alex, aware of what he had really came for, flew towards her, and she recoiled in reflex even though she knew he was not going to hurt her. It was the general violence that traumatised her, and she was frightened by all the chaos that was going on.

She was also embarrassed and overly self-conscious that Alex was witnessing her in such a state, even though her appearance was the last thing he was worried about.

Alex flung the blood-stained vase to the other end of the room so that he could untie Norma's bound wrists, and she watched in alarm as the vase hit the wall and shattered into pieces. He didn't want Zack going near her at all, and once she was untied, he looked away instinctively, as if to give her a split second of privacy. She was grateful for it; she pulled her underwear up and clambered off the sofa.

She smothered her dress down clumsily and scrambled to the other side of the room to pick up the landline. The silly old thing had never been of any use to her, and she had never so much as given it a second glance. Yet now, in this moment, she looked at it in some kind of reverence. She had one call to make, and her finger darted over its buttons with frightful agility.

She had no modesty left to reclaim, she knew that. Yet there was still a compulsion in her, as she held the receiver to her ear in one hand, to flatten her matted hair and wipe off her smudged mascara as best as she could. The latter had dried and flecks came off her cheeks.

Her attention split when she felt sharp pains rise up in her abdomen from between her thighs. Zack had been so very rough with her, and she could barely stand upright because it hurt to straighten her back. She felt disgusting and utterly used, but she couldn't afford to worry about how she felt right now.

Norma kept an eye out for him in case Zack hurtled towards her, but she realised that was not going to happen. He was being subdued by Alex, who had seemed to lose control of himself, too. Alex had pinned Zack to the floor in a blind, violent rage, and was now delivering sharp blows to his face as though he was hitting a sandbag at a gym.

Zack, with his trousers half-down from his assault, looked ridiculous. As he tried to fend for himself, he realised that Alex was much stronger than he was, despite appearances.

"How dare you put your hands on her," said Alex through gritted teeth. He was not holding back at all. There would be consequences to this senseless beating he was delivering, but Norma Bates was the only reason he needed to deviate from his rulebook. He didn't care what those consequences were, either. "You touched her, and I'm going to kill you."

On the sidelines, Norma couldn't bear to look when she saw more blood spray against the pristine floorboards. She cast her eyes downwards while she listened to the hum of the old static from the other end of the line. She felt her heart race and she wished everything would hurry up.

In the meantime, Zack had ducked when Alex tried to deliver a punch. This sent his fist driving into the floor, and he withdrew his hand in pain. Zack took this opportunity to fight back, and he flipped Alex over so that he regained dominance. He could barely see through the bloodiness on his face, but he didn't feel any pain, not yet. Adrenaline was pulsing through his veins, and he had a lot of energy to spare.

"You're not going to kill me," said Zack with loutish confidence. "And she deserved it. She deserved every last bit of it, Alex, because she's a _whore_ —"

It was all he managed to say, before Alex held onto the leg of the coffee table and dragged himself up. He held onto Zack's collar aggressively, and it choked him.

Out of the corner of his eye, Alex saw Norma standing by the doorway, half-shrouded in the dim light. She drew back whilst she clung onto the receiver, and cowered slightly when she realised that she had just made eye contact with him.

The phone line finally went through, and Norma was grateful. She heard footsteps descending from the stairs just as she hung up, and she backed against the wall. She hadn't known there was a fourth person in the house.

Norma caught a glimpse of the red hair and felt both relieved and terrified. She didn't know what Rebecca was doing here, but she seemed to be uninterested in hurting her, so she kept quiet. She watched as Rebecca tore through the hallway in angry determination, clutching a pistol in her hand very tightly. She was frightened and trying not to let it show.

Moments later, the sound of a single gunshot rang through the house.

Norma, isolated in the dark hallway just outside the living room, squeezed her eyes shut in shock. The sound reverberated in her mind and she sunk to the floor, covering her ears with her hands like a petrified infant. She waited for the sound of a second gunshot, but there was none. It was over. Everything was quiet, and she could only pray that it hadn't been Alex that Rebecca had just shot.

* * *

 **AN: Thank you for your reviews from the last chapter! I agree so much with everything mentioned. I have been too soft with Alex. I rewatched a random episode just to get my head into this again and to get everybody back in character. (Of course it then dawned on me that I hate everyone who isn't Normero. To hell with that whole town. Douse it in petrol and burn it to the ground.)**

 **Also, to answer the anonymous person's review—I have Twitter. It's not private, but I would prefer not to put it on here because it has nothing to do with my fics. Hope that's okay!**


	16. The Crack-Up

Rebecca stood in a shocked silence. She looked at the gun in her hand and lowered her arm slowly, trembling. _Had she lost her mind?_

Alex fell backwards onto the rug, not caring that it was soaked in blood. He just needed a second to recollect his thoughts and make sense of it all. Next to him lay Zack's limp body. Alex knew he was not dead, despite the bullet lodged in his neck. He could still see the shallow movement of his ribs, though he was out cold.

Alex looked at Rebecca out of the corner of his eye.

"Thank you," he mumbled weakly. He did not know if she had heard him. If she had, she did not respond. She was still stunned by what she had just done. Her gaze floated downwards to where Zack lay, and she was paralysed in fear. Her feet kept her rooted to the ground, and even though it was a gruesome scene, she couldn't look away.

Alex was battered from his fight with Zack, but he knew he could not relax. Not yet. He thought about Norma and how she had fled the scene. The way she had been limping, Alex knew she couldn't have gotten very far. He was sure she was just out there in the corridor, and he needed to know that she was okay. He felt a sharp pain in both his jaw and rib when he tried to get up, but he ignored them both. He had to get to Norma, even if it killed him.

He walked past Rebecca, who still didn't move. She had a blank look upon her face, and Alex almost felt bad for her in the moment.

Rebecca knew why she did it. She knew she had to, or Zack was going to end up killing them all. She couldn't get Norma's scream out of her head, and maybe that was what spurred her to pull the trigger. The Zack she had witnessed was not the same man she knew and befriended; she had always given him the benefit of the doubt, and never thought he would go that far. She was terribly sorry she had to see him in action to believe he would.

But Zack couldn't be dead. _He couldn't_ , she thought. She wasn't a killer. That was not the kind of person she was. Of course she could go over and see for herself, whether he was still breathing or not, but the very thought of having to make that discovery terrified her.

* * *

Norma didn't know how much time had elapsed since the house had gone silent. She had been sitting in the hallway with her knees tucked to her chin for so long now that her legs were beginning to feel stiff.

She felt a wave of her childhood memories wash over her, but she was too tired to resist it.

She remembered this was the way she had sat in the dark closet at home all those years ago. She hid from the world in fear and dread whenever her father came home in a drunken rage, and whenever her brother came home from school and needed sweet release. She could remember so clearly the way they sought her out—her father's persistent drawls, Caleb's urgent cries— _Norma! Norma! Norma Louise, where are you?_

That was what they said, and always in the same way. She knew how those scenes unfolded. And when everything was over, she would always end up alone again, in the dark, in tears. She had always been all by herself. She didn't want to think about any of it, but her brain rattled on and on like a broken record player and wouldn't shut up.

Norma suddenly felt a warm arm around her shoulder, which tore her from her thoughts. She began to pull away, scarred and startled from the abrupt contact, but was stopped in her tracks by the sound of a warm voice next to her.

"Hey. It's me."

It was Alex, and he had found her. He wanted to hold her properly in an embrace, but he noticed her tensed shoulders and realised it might not be such a good idea after all. So he just sat down and put his arm around her, and she let him without looking up.

"It's me, it's me..." he repeated quietly, until his words sunk in.

Norma permitted herself to relax somewhat, but her face remained buried in her knees, and she was still trembling from the aftershock.

"You're safe," he carried on reassuringly, as though he was speaking to a small child. "It's over, Norma, you're safe."

She wanted to tell him she believed him, that she had chosen to believe him. But in that moment she couldn't bring herself to talk, because the pain in her abdomen had arisen again and it was so sharp that it overpowered her. She felt exhausted and rough, and all she could do was give him a whimper to let him know that she was okay, that she was grateful he was there.

Alex got the message. He shuffled a little closer and diverted his attention to holding her tenderly, as though he was trying to retain warmth between their bodies.

At last she lifted her head to look up at him. She had wanted to rest her cheek on his shoulder when she saw the state he was in: war-torn and bloodied. She let out an involuntary gasp. She didn't know it had gotten this bad. Why was he still worrying about her, when he was so beaten and bruised? It didn't make sense.

Norma looked at him in shock and raised a hand slowly as if to hold his cheek, but as soon as she touched him, he winced and drew back. The wounds on his face were too fresh, and every contact stung. She knew better than to touch him a second time, and folded her hands in her lap instead. She searched the rest of him to see where else he had been hurt but couldn't come to a conclusion, because there was so much blood on his shirt and she knew some of it had to belong to Zack.

"I'm okay," said Alex, as if he had read her mind. They both knew it was a lie, but he didn't want her to blame herself for what had happened to him.

He tried to smile, but it fell flat when his ribs began to hurt again. His diaphragm was pushing out against his ribcage, and it made breathing difficult, but he paid no attention to it. It mattered more to him that _she_ was okay. And she didn't look okay. She looked broken, and it hurt him more than any kind of physical pain.

"Where did he hurt you?" asked Alex, his breath caught. It was a stupid question. He had seen what Zack had done to her, and flashes of that image still haunted him. He couldn't imagine how she must have felt.

Norma closed her eyes and shook her head. She would gather her thoughts before she spoke.

"I fought—" she suddenly started to say. She opened her eyes which were beginning to brim with tears again. She hoped he didn't think she was weak for letting all of that happen to her. If only he knew how much stronger Zack was, how he had overpowered her completely in that moment, and how sorry she was about the whole thing. Alex wouldn't start seeing her in a different light after this, would he? She really hoped not. She wouldn't be able to bear it. But the last shred of her dignity was so far gone now, she wouldn't blame him if he did.

"I resisted him, Alex, I _really_ did—"

"I know."

Alex cut her off, and there was a kindness in his voice that touched her. His words were not tinged with blame or disgust, and she was surprised. After all, it was how a select few people in her life had reacted when she had told them the truth about her childhood. They almost always recoiled instantly, and then treated her differently, as if she was less of a person for having gone through all of that.

Over time, Norma had stopped speaking about herself honestly, and fostered the habit of invention. She thought it was easier to lie and give everybody a good time, than to tell the truth and have people reprimand her.

So she almost did not believe the tenderness in his voice when she heard it.

"It's not your fault," he said firmly. "He hurt you. He was a monster, and I should've known... if only I'd known..."

"You couldn't have."

"But I knew he could've been _violent_. I just didn't think something like this would ever happen—I'm sorry."

"No, _no_ ," she said softly. She seemed to have her heart set on elaborating, but changed her mind. " _Thank you,_ " she said instead. She gave him a small, uncertain smile as she wiped her eyes. "For saving me," she added. He shook his head as though he did not want to claim any credit.

Alex knew it was silly to smile at a time like this, but watching hers, he couldn't help it. It was the first time in a while he had seen her smile like that, and it was in that moment that he realised one thing: she was not broken from all of this. She was badly hurt, but her fire had not been put out. She was still as strong and brave as she had been in the beginning, and she was still filled with a sense of goodness and light and truth that shone through.

Norma suddenly looked at Alex and frowned.

"What?" he asked instinctively, feeling something pull at his heartstrings. "Is it painful?"

He looked around as if he was inspecting her, and Norma felt her cheeks grow warm under his watchful gaze. She had forgotten about her torn dress for a moment, but now she felt self-conscious again. She tugged at the ends of her dress and held it in her hand as if she was trying to piece bits of it together, frantic with bated breath that he would finally realise she was not worth his time and energy after all and walk away.

But he stayed, and he didn't move away from her, not even an inch.

"Norma, where does it hurt? _Please_ tell me—"

"No, stop," she mumbled. "I'm okay."

Norma wanted to put the attention on Alex because she was not used to being fussed over like that. It felt good, she had to admit, but it also made her feel needy. Besides, she already had feelings for him, as much as she would not like to remind herself of it. And if he continued to worry about her like that, so openly and unabashedly, she would _really_ fall irretrievably in love with him, and the thought of it made her nervous.

She cast her eyes upon the wounds on his cheek and pursed her lips. "He _really_ punched the lights out of you."

He exhaled. "I told you; it's nothing."

"It's not nothing," she insisted. Feeling flooded back into her body as she regained a small sense of normalcy from their stubborn repartee. "Look at you," she murmured, squinting in the dim light. "I can't believe he did that. I'm so sorry."

"You're going to have to stop apologising," he said.

Alex knew it was strange circumstance, the two of them cowering in a poorly lit hallway like this. He didn't know if it was an appropriate moment to wax poetic, what with a potentially dead man ten feet from them in the next room, lying face-down in his own pool of blood. It didn't take much for him to work out that it was not the most romantic set-up. If Nancy Meyers ever heard of this, she would shake her head in disdain and avert her eyes.

Maybe it was the last of the adrenaline in his body, or maybe it was the way he had his arm around her. Whatever it was, it had made its mark in the moment, and he felt compelled to tell her how he felt.

Alex was going to tell her that he found her wholly invigorating. That he _did_ quit smoking because of her. That he thought her so utterly irresistible he didn't know what he had been doing before she had stumbled into his life and set the whole damn thing alight, dragging whatever pieces of madness with her into the fire.

He took a second to gather his courage, but when he was finally ready, he was stopped short.

The lights in the hallway suddenly flickered on. He looked up and saw Rebecca standing overhead, gazing down at the two of them with the pistol still in her shaky hand. He couldn't make out her exact expression, but he could tell she was not ecstatic about this ordeal.

* * *

Rebecca looked at Alex and Norma, huddling next to each other like a pair of lovebirds. He had been bent over as though he was shielding her, but turned around instinctively when the light came on.

"I'm not—" Rebecca started to say, as if she was defending a blow from him. She wanted to say that she wasn't Zack, that she was not going to pose a threat to him. That she was _his_ Rebecca, and perhaps that line would have worked just a day ago, but she wasn't quite sure about that now. "I'm not him."

Alex relaxed slightly before she had a chance to say anything more. He nodded a vague nod, as though he was processing what she wanted from him. She observed that he didn't seem as mad now, but she knew that he still cast her responsible for all of this, and she felt her gut clench.

Seeing Alex with his arm around Norma protectively, it was hard for her not to feel a pinprick of jealousy shoot through her heart. It spread to the rest of her body without hesitation, and she suddenly felt sick.

Even though Alex had never admitted it outright, and even though Norma had never been mentioned explicitly, the situation was clear. She didn't know why or how she had been so blind as not to see it, and she felt terrible to see it laid out in front of her so plainly right now.

Rebecca just didn't understand why Alex had made his decision the way he did. She didn't understand how somebody like Norma could just waltz in and replace what she had for years with him. And maybe they had just been fooling around at the beginning, but she caught feelings, and she had been so sure that he felt the same.

On a logical level, she could interpret this. She knew that emotions were as arbitrary as they came, and there would be no explanation he could offer that would satisfy her. But still, she didn't want to face this harsh reality, one where he would never do the same for her what he was doing for Norma now.

If the situation had been flipped, thought Rebecca, if she had been the one Zack had hurt... she supposed Alex would still do it. He would still come crashing in to save her, but it would only be because it was the right thing to do, and he was a man of principle and moral. He would never rush to her side with such care and concern. He would save her and call it a day, a job well done, another villain beat. Because to him, she was business. It was not personal, and it was never going to be personal.

The more Rebecca thought about this, the more time threatened to stand still.

However ugly her thoughts were, and however unfair this situation was, she knew they were true. That only added to the pain in her heart, which accumulated and turned into anger. She wound her fingers around the pistol tightly, suddenly feeling quite indignant, because this was not at all the way things were supposed to have turned out.

* * *

Alex spotted Rebecca's grip on the pistol tighten, and he knew she had reached a conclusion she was not pleased with. He retracted his arm from Norma's shoulder and felt a chill as he tried to stand on his feet. A dull pain throbbed on the side of his face, and he knew it was from the open wound on his cheek.

Rebecca spoke first, sparing him from having to.

"I guess I _do_ know Zack," she confessed coldly. "More than I had realised."

Alex only had his eye on the pistol. She was not pointing it at anyone, but the fact that she had it made him nervous enough.

 _Of course_ , he thought. _Of course she went for the gun._

Norma looked up, squinting at Rebecca as though she was reassessing the whole situation. Then she turned to Alex, hoping he would give an indication as to what was going on. _These were the good people, weren't they?_ she wondered. _It was over_. That was Alex had told her, and she trusted him. She just didn't trust the atmosphere that hung over the three of them like thick smog.

There was a stir from the living room, which jolted her upright. A flash of dread ran through her.

"He—" she began to say, "is he—"

Alex shook his head.

"He's just unconscious."

"But you _shot_ him."

"In the neck," stammered Rebecca.

Norma looked at her, wide-eyed. After what Zack had done to her, the way he had defiled her and called her all those names, she should be grateful to Rebecca for making him feel tenfold the pain he had bestowed on her. And she was. So why was Alex so angry with Rebecca?

"He isn't dead," he reinforced authoritatively.

Alex was uncomfortable with how swiftly Rebecca had managed to shoot Zack. She had done it in a split second, almost without hesitation. He saw her flinch a little when she pulled the trigger, but that was about it. Now Alex was tough man, but witnessing that had made him a little scared of how indifferent she could be. She put aside years of friendship, just like that, and if she could do it to Zack, then she could do it to anyone.

Alex hoped she would not bring up the fight they had. He hoped she would forget the way he had shouted at her in the car. He still wasn't sorry, but he knew it would only build the resentment in her heart, and he didn't want that happening when she was armed.

There was a glint in Rebecca's eye when she suddenly raised the loaded pistol at an angle. She aimed it at Norma tentatively and Alex's heart jumped. Then she changed her mind and lifted it higher, until it was him who was staring down the barrel of the gun. He stiffened.

"Put the gun down."

"How many times did you sleep with her?" she asked. Her voice was eerily calm.

Behind Alex, Norma tensed up.

"It's not a good time to talk about this," he said conclusively.

"It's never a good time," she responded.

"Rebecca, don't be childish. Put away the damn gun."

"I just want to know why you chose _her_." Rebecca jutted her chin out at Norma.

"You're going to hurt someone," he warned for a third time, not yielding to her questions.

"I am," she agreed. Her hand trembled, and she wrapped her left hand around the gun to steady it. "Alex, I hate to say it, but you really disappointed me. You could not imagine my shock when I realised you had been lying about us, on top of so many other things."

"What other things?" he asked, genuinely curious. There was nothing else he had lied to her about.

"Stop it." She shook her head, rolling her eyes slightly. "You can't possibly play dumb right now. Remember the nights you used to creep out of bed? I knew what you were doing. You were snooping. I don't know why, or for whom you're doing this, but I knew you copied those files from my computer."

He frowned. He was caught off-guard. "You did?"

"Of course I did," she said. "You said you were reading. Do you remember that?"

Alex nodded slowly. "I was."

"No, you weren't. You didn't have your reading glasses with you. You know the ones?" she asked bitterly. He knew. "You always complained about not being able to read without them."

He flared up. All along, he thought he had been so stealthy. But he had just been careless, and she had just been quiet. He suddenly felt a lot less confident.

"Then all of a sudden you were trying so hard to get my name off of that patch," continued Rebecca. "And I just knew that you were behind it all."

Alex didn't speak.

"I knew you weren't getting information from Roger. He liked you, but not enough to let you in on this. And I didn't say anything," she said, "because you seemed to care about me. You cared enough to want to get me out of the mess." She gritted her teeth. "And I enjoyed that feeling. I felt special, and I thought I could get by like that so I didn't tell anyone."

"Rebecca—"

"You know, when you called me a fucking idiot back there, I didn't even mind," she said, smiling darkly, as though she was relishing an inside joke. "Because I realised you're absolutely right. I _am_ an idiot. For investing in you."

"I'm sorry I called you..." he trailed off. He needed her to calm down somehow, and he thought he could do that by apologising. "I'm sorry. I was worried."

"About _her_ ," she said, nodding at Norma again, who was looking at the two of them in alarm and confusion.

Alex fell silent. At this point, he was determined to quit discussing feelings. He was curious as to how much more Rebecca knew, but she seemed to be uninterested in talking about that.

"You've taken it all from me, Alex," she said, shaking her head. "I should've known I lost you a long time ago. And now I'm going to lose Zack too, even if he turned out to be a horrible person. And _you_ , Norma."

Rebecca pointed the gun back at Norma.

"I thought we were friends," she said.

Alex was about to take a step towards Rebecca, but something in her eyes told him that it was not a good idea, so he had no choice but to stay put. He wouldn't want her to shoot.

"You're still free," reasoned Alex. "You could still walk free if you just put the gun down and leave."

Rebecca looked at him long and hard, and then shook her head. "But what's the point? I'm going to have to leave town and start over," she said. For the first time, Alex could hear the panic in her voice, and he realised that she was trying to act tougher than she really felt. "And I hate the sound of that. I hate it. Why did you have to interfere?" asked Rebecca pointedly at Norma. "Couldn't you just have minded your own fucking business?"

She didn't let Norma speak.

"When this is over, you'll fall into each other's arms like you're the great heroes who solved this whole damn thing, while I'm left with nobody. _Nothing_. Nothing at all. Doesn't that sound dreadful?"

These words left a sour taste in Rebecca's mouth, and she suddenly felt nauseous at the oppressive uncertainty that loomed ahead of her. She was more tired than angry now. She knew what had happened was irreversible, and it was only a matter of time before the police would arrive and get involved. She really didn't need the trouble. She glanced at the front door tentatively, as though she was hoping to make a clean break.

"No," said Norma suddenly. " _No_."

Alex turned around, and he had a look on his face that seemed to will her to keep quiet for her own safety, but she would not.

"No, it doesn't sound dreadful," repeated Norma, a little louder this time. She didn't care that there was a gun pointed in her direction. She knew Rebecca wouldn't open fire; she was scared to death of holding the gun in the first place. She would not shoot. "Don't you think that's wonderful?"

"What?" Rebecca breathed, lowering her arms a little.

"All my life I've wanted a fresh start," explained Norma, feeling a little braver. "Because I had a fucking awful childhood," she confessed. She didn't look at Alex. After all the stories she had told him, it felt weird to be telling the truth.

"I remember hoping— _praying_ —for a way out ever since I was a kid. And then one day I got it. I got the way out, my clean slate. And... and it was scary because I had to do it alone. It didn't turn out as rewarding as I thought it would be, and I guess it eventually led to this shitshow anyway, but..." she gestured vaguely at the empty space in front of her. "But at least it was a _different_ shitshow."

She wished there was a more eloquent way to phrase it, but it would have to do.

Rebecca stared at her vacantly; her eyes were glazed over.

"And maybe that's what you need," added Norma in earnest. "Something different."

Rebecca frowned. "You don't know what I need," she said defiantly while she parsed Norma's words.

Maybe she _did_ have a point, thought Rebecca.

If they were all doomed in the end anyway, she might as well have some variation in her life before she plunged to her own demise in decades' time. She didn't need to be here right now.

She didn't need to cry over Alex when it was clear that he would never love her back. She didn't need to be standing here holding a gun in Norma's face when she knew she would never be bold enough to pull the trigger a second time. Most of all, she knew Zack was about to bleed out, and she _most definitely_ didn't need to go to jail for murdering her own best friend.

Alex's voice rang in her head: _you could still walk free. If you'd just leave._

The anger in Rebecca's heart was subsiding quickly, and it was being replaced by the panic that she would end up behind bars. She knew she was running out of time, but she was not going to give either of them the satisfaction of being right. She could only pretend to be irritated.

"I'm sick of this," she said very simply. She dropped her gun and allowed it to hit the floor.

Alex kicked it away before Rebecca could change her mind, but he needn't have worried. She knew what she had to do.

She sauntered out of the house as though she couldn't stand being there for a minute longer, and her cool detachment left him stunned.

The door slammed shut with a loud bang, and a minute later, Norma heard the wail of sirens draw close.

* * *

 **AN:** **Did I mention there's a guy on my course who looks like Alex. I kid you not. The dark brows, the eyes, the cheekbones. The only differences? He has blue eyes, and his face is a bit more oval. Other than that, they even share the same stoic expression. I almost fainted when I first spotted him in the lecture hall. He was seven rows in front of me, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. Two weeks later, he sat three seats from me in a seminar, and I almost lost it.**


	17. Denouement

Alex felt his rib twitch as he was loaded onto the ambulance on a stretcher, and all he could think about was Norma. His worry subsided somewhat when he found her sitting across him, next to a young paramedic. So she had followed after all, because she had been worried about him too. The paramedic had hooked Alex onto a heart monitor, as well as a couple of needles that he did not recognise, connected to machines and bags of fluid. The man did not look much older than twenty-five, and Alex noticed his name tag saying _Guy_.

Norma had regained most of her feeling by now. She thought that if she had survived all these years when she was only a child, she could surely get over this. She had to, for the sake of Alex. She wanted to make sure _he_ was okay. She knew repressing her trauma was not the best way to go about it, but if she could just stop thinking about it for a moment—that would be great. She could revisit this later, when she really had to deal with it.

"By the way," mumbled Alex as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

Norma leaned in while the ambulance rolled on, blaring loudly. She realised that she must be annoying the whole neighbourhood, the way she was always annoyed when she heard sirens pass by her window. Maybe she wouldn't be now, not anymore. Somehow, it was different when it was her inside the screaming machine on wheels, and it changed her.

"Hm?"

She caught a glimpse of the world outside the window and wondered where they were. She knew they couldn't be going to the local hospital, because they would have arrived by now. She thought they might be heading towards the next big city, but it was so dark out that she could not make out the side of the road, let alone what was written on each street sign.

"I'm glad you're safe," said Alex, and he let out an involuntary smile while keeping his eyes closed. She couldn't help but smile back, but felt her breath caught when she glanced at all the different machines he was being hooked up to. It was weird, seeing him like that. He was usually so... mobile. So able. Now that their roles were reversed and she was crouched over him all concerned, she decided she was not used to it.

"But you're—"

"I'm fine."

"Stop saying that. He _really_ beat the crap out of you," she mumbled.

"Don't worry. I beat the crap out of him too." He had said this in an amused manner, and it let her know that he was going to be okay after all.

"And then Rebecca shot the crap out of him." She almost snorted at how lightly they were treating this, and she guessed they shouldn't. But in this clinical white light, everything felt too sterile for them to be in harm's way.

Out of the corner of her eye, Norma saw Guy sitting next to her with his hands on his lap. He was facing forward without much emotion, and she realised that he didn't care about the conversation she was having with Alex. Not one bit. This allowed her to relax. If she had been a little embarrassed about showing her emotions before, she wasn't now. For Guy, it was just another job on another day, and he was not about to get emotionally invested.

"What are you thinking?" asked Alex quietly, noticing the silence. He opened one eye to look at her from where he was lying, and she pursed her lips.

"I was just thinking—I mean, Alex... I can't believe you went through that for me." She frowned. "It's one thing to help someone. I never doubted your character. But it's a whole other thing to do it putting your own life at risk. It was so... what you did was so reckless, you know that?"

"That's a way to say thank you."

"I'm serious," she said. "You could've died. He'd gone crazy, and I was going to—" she peered at him, and sighed. "Really? Right now? You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am really not," said Alex with mirth.

"I'm just saying it's not worth all of this," she responded, gesturing at his wounds.

She had wanted to say ' _I_ was not worth all of this', but she didn't want to put him on the spot.

Alex tried to chuckle, but he just ended up choking a little as he winced from the pain in his torso. Norma leaned forward reflexively, and so did Guy, and he got to Alex first. He gave the tubes a look-over to make sure none of them had shifted, nodded at her, and then turned back to face him.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to not speak anymore please."

Norma leaned back into her seat, and Alex frowned. "What?"

"Yes. You really shouldn't be moving about. You're going to need surgery for your dislocated ribs," he explained calmly. "You're really lucky they didn't protrude and cut into any of your organs. Otherwise—"

"I would've died. Big deal."

"Well, it _would've_ been a big deal—"

"For me."

"And for her," he said, nodding at Norma. "I think," he added quickly, tripping over his own words a little. "And me, I guess."

"Aw, not you too. What's it to you?" Alex chattered on, barely able to contain his amusement. He didn't mean to get the paramedic so riled up, but it was funny, and he guessed he needed something light right then. He felt bad, yet not really bad enough to stop. "Do you get a gold star for every person you save?"

Guy flushed. He wasn't used to making conversation with the person strapped into the bed; they were usually unconscious. It _was_ an ambulance after all. He didn't know why he hadn't sedated Alex too, and now he was regretting it.

"Sir, with all due respect, do you know how messed up your jaw is?"

"No. Please enlighten me."

Norma had to stop herself from letting out a scoff.

Guy looked helpless, and Alex felt a burgeoning hint of guilt.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'll shut up now."

"Thank you."

"Can I just say one more thing? To her?" asked Alex.

Guy glanced at him in exasperation, but nodded.

"Just so you know," said Alex, addressing Norma again. He closed his eyes to get comfortable. " _You_ were worth all of this."

* * *

Jane paid Alex a visit at the hospital a week later when he could finally sit upright.

He still felt a strange feeling in his torso, but he guessed that it was from all the tubing that was coming in and out of him, and much less the actual injury. He had his jaw bandaged, which displeased him because he felt as though he was being mummified, but he was glad he was getting better. He could feel his strength coming back to him again, and he could not wait until he was out of wearing a dressing gown twenty four hours a day. It was depressing.

"You're free," she said finally.

Alex looked around the machines that he was hooked up to, and let out a grim chuckle. "Hardly."

"Well, you're done," she said, ignoring his cynicism. "Roger's in jail, and the whole operation has been wrapped up. Roger—he was actually found trying to flee the scene. Apparently he had caught on earlier than we had expected. No idea how," she said, shrugging. "But we got him, and that's what matters."

Alex thought it might be Rebecca who had chosen loyalty in the end, if not towards him, then at least to Roger. He thought that was admirable. No matter how terrible she might have been at handling her personal relationships, she never neglected her business.

"He was reluctant to confess at first," she carried on, "but with all the files, we had everything we need. And it wasn't that hard getting him to talk when he realised that."

He nodded. "And Zack?"

Alex wasn't sure why he had asked that. He had never cared about Zack that much to begin with, and he certainly didn't after he had put Norma through all of that. It still made him angry just thinking about it, so he mostly did not.

Jane looked pensive, and Alex suddenly hoped she would say that Zack was dead. Maybe that was why he had asked. So he could get satisfaction from hearing that Zack was not okay at all. Wasn't that what he deserved, though, just by virtue of being such a terrible person? Alex thought so.

"He's not dead, but he's in a good state," she said, crossing her arms. "But I wouldn't worry about that. If I were him, I mean. He's locked up alright, so he has bigger things to worry about than his physical wellbeing. And all of what he did to Norma..."

Alex felt his heart race.

"She testified?" he asked, almost snapping at Jane. He would've leapt up from the bed if he were not so tightly bound by needles and tubes.

"Yeah. I didn't think she would want to do that, but when I talked to her about it, she was adamant on sending him to jail. Not that he wasn't going to be there, but now with this too, he's not getting out."

Alex let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't even known Norma had gone and done that, but she must have when he was stuck on bedrest. The thought of her doing that made him uneasy because he knew how cases like this one went. The police would have grilled her relentlessly, and he hated the justice system for all its prejudices and biases. But he was glad she had done it, and that conviction had been speedy. Though he guessed the latter would not have taken long, considering all the evidence that had mounted. Zack really did not have much of a case.

"Norma's a fighter," said Jane, as though she could read Alex's mind. Her voice seemed to brim with pride, which was something he had never heard before, and he could not help but be proud of Norma too, on her behalf.

 _She really was a fighter_ , he thought.

He suddenly remembered White Pine Bay High, and all he could do was frown. The school now seemed so surreal and far away. He had nearly forgotten any of them were real, that everybody there were alive and sentient; that was how far removed he was. How were the kids going to deal with the news breaking?

Jane shook her head when he voiced his concern.

"I have no idea," she said in earnest. "But I did speak to the principal. He said he wasn't going to address it just yet. Said he might wait until school resumes in a few days, and then hold an assembly."

"An assembly?"

The idea seemed ridiculous to Alex. Jane shrugged.

"Apparently."

"But why wait? They're going to read about it in the paper," he said. "I mean, it _was_ a big deal. It's a drug bust, even if no one actually died. And then there's..." he paused. "There's what happened to Norma. This is a small town. It'll make the news, and they won't have to dig very deep to find out what happened."

"Believe me, I have considered all of this," said Jane, sliding her files back into her bag. "And I agree with you that this isn't something you just put in a school newsletter and pretend everything's okay."

"No, it isn't."

"But it's out of my control, so..." she said helplessly.

"I understand."

"So I say, let it happen. Let them find out about it in the news, even if it's out of their depth. They'll respond much better to it than they will ever to a sugarcoated version, however complicated the truth may be."

Alex nodded slowly. He thought about his class, and wondered how they would react to finding out about him. He had not considered that. Did they really have to know? He wasn't sure how much would be exposed, but he guessed it didn't matter because he wasn't going to be teaching anymore, anyway.

"By the way, you know Thomas Campbell?"

Jane's voice rang loud and clear in the room, jolting Alex out of his thoughts. He nodded. He had forgotten about Tom.

"Yeah. How is he?" he asked. It was a stupid question, but he couldn't think of anything else to ask.

"He's just started going to therapy," said Jane. "After... after all that happened with his dad. And the fact that the kid was home when we arrested Roger—I guess I forgot to mention that part. He saw him get handcuffed and all that. I guess it was chaotic, and... traumatic, too. Even if he made it seem like he had expected it to happen."

"But he's not in trouble, is he?"

"No," she said. "He didn't do anything, so there's nothing for him to worry about. But obviously, his mother was very distraught. Poor woman had no idea what was going on. Apparently Roger had told her he had come from money, which was why she never questioned all that they had."

Alex nodded and heaved a sigh. He was happy _he_ had managed to gain some sense of closure, but now he was worrying about everyone else.

When Christmas break was over, the school would have to explain everything, and then account for the sudden disappearances of its staff by hiring replacements. That would take time and resources, and... and... it all just sounded a bit tedious. It seemed quite impossible to regain normalcy, and it gave him a mild headache just from thinking about it.

Jane stayed for a while and helped Alex refill his water jug at one of the water coolers down the hallway. She seemed to be in a surprisingly good mood, and he attributed it to the case solved. That was only half the reason. As his superior, she was undoubtedly delighted about the bust. But she was also happy forhim, seeing that he was regaining colour in his cheeks, and that he was free to do whatever he wanted now.

"You did a good job," she commended him. "Despite... well, despite almost killing one of our suspects."

Alex smiled slightly. "It couldn't be helped."

"No, it couldn't," she agreed. Before she got up to leave, she paused at the door and looked at him. "Now go get the girl, Romero."

* * *

Alex brought out his best bottle of red and presented it as though it was some sort of sacred object. Snug on the couch and wrapped up in a blanket by his radiator, Norma looked ready to drift to sleep. He set it on the coffee table in front of her anyway, and was about to head to the kitchen to fetch the bottle opener when she stopped him.

"Wait. No, no. I don't think we should drink tonight," she pointed out.

"Why not?" He was confused.

"It's just that you're in recovery, and you're—you've got that _thing_ tomorrow afternoon, remember?"

He knew what she was talking about. It was some sort of award ceremony that would take place at the police academy. The room would be crammed with other officers, most of his superiors, and he would be commended alongside Jane. He had really been trying to downplay his excitement, but as always, Norma saw through him. She knew it was a big thing for him, and she knew he was never going to outwardly express his enthusiasm, so she guessed she would have to hype it up for the both of them. She didn't mind, and she had been doing a good job of it.

Another week had passed, and by then, school had resumed. Neither of them knew anything that had to do with White Pine Bay High or how the news broke. While Alex had been pulled out of the operation and gone back to being on the team, Norma had resigned. She didn't think it was responsible of her to do it in the middle of teaching, but there was still half of the school year left; she realised she couldn't face all the explanation she would have to do.

Of course people would ask questions. Each one was as curious as the next, and everybody wanted to know what _really_ happened. Did Rebecca _really_ shoot Mr. Shelby? What about that history teacher, Romero? Was he _really_ a cop? He was dating Rebecca, but he was _really_ in love with you, wasn't he, Ms. Bates? Now how did all of _that_ work out? Or maybe it didn't, considering... considering... oh, but it must have been traumatising. How _was_ anybody supposed to get over it?

Norma didn't blame them. She also didn't need to be fielding all these questions. They would inevitably come up the second she set foot in any classroom or the staff room, and the principal knew that, too, and it simply would not do. She was sorry to go, but she knew it was for the best. Jane had suggested they move out of town completely just to make their lives easier, but even though Norma had been a nomad for most of her life, she was finding it a little difficult to uproot herself this time.

So she thought they could stay here for a while, at least until they had figured out their next steps.

"You need to be fixed up nice and pretty," Norma said. She had been fussing over Alex's collar incessantly the second he had joined her on the couch. At this point, she was just holding it up and smoothening it down again, repeating the motions like clockwork. She liked touching him, that was all, even though he already had his arm around her and held her close. "And we can't be hungover."

"Okay, matriarch," said Alex, smiling.

She pulled away playfully. "I'm not _old_ —"

"I didn't mean that you were," he said.

"Then use another word."

"Does it matter?"

"Alex, I'm an English teacher—"

"Okay, okay." He laughed. "But I'm all out."

"Then I suppose you'll have to keep quiet for the rest of the evening," she said smugly. She buried her cheek against his chest again, and he kissed her forehead gently.

"No chance at that."

Alex was glad their repartee was back. It was what he enjoyed most, and he could tell that she was being herself around him again, which pleased him. All along, he had just wanted to be someone she could trust. He had just wanted her to feel safe, and he knew it was going to be difficult—there was something about her demeanour that suggested turbulence—but these days, she seemed to have come around and warmed up to the idea that she was going to be okay after all.

"You know, I don't know why I haven't told you this, but I'm really proud of you."

She looked at him. "What for?"

"Testifying," he responded. He knew she wasn't playing games. So much had happened; how on Earth was she going to know what exactly it was that he was talking about? He barely knew what _he_ was talking about half the time.

"Oh. Well."

He had wanted her to open up, but she just shrugged and moved on to something else, determined to leave that part of the events behind.

But he was glad that she had, because that was when she really began to talk.

For the first time, Norma found herself sharing details about her life and not cringing at her own words moments after. Talking to Alex felt good, and even though she had vowed never to speak of herself in earnest again, she couldn't help herself. He had done all of that for her—essentially risked his life—and if he was not somebody she could trust, then who was? She was not going to push him away anymore; she didn't want to, because she might never find somebody like him again.

Norma told Alex about community college. She told him about working as a housekeeper prior to that, and she even rewinded the whole story to tell him about the bus-hopping she had done when she had left home. She told him about being on her own then, about feeling scared and alone, always wondering when and where and _how_ she would have her next meal.

Alex listened. He knew she was trying her best, and even though he could tell there were big gaps in her narrative, and that she was glossing over certain things, he was content with what he got to hear. It didn't really matter that what she had told him earlier, everything about her childhood, were lies. He wasn't worried that she was just lying again, because there was something different about her voice this time. Something that let him know she had to be telling the truth.

"There you have it," said Norma nervously, eager to wrap up. "My life."

"That's the abridged version," he said quietly, but he was not accusing her. She leaned against him and felt his steady heartbeat, and her face twisted. "But you don't have to tell me everything," he added quickly, not wanting to ruin the moment. He couldn't see how she was reacting, but he could feel it somehow. "I just want to know more about you, because I like hearing about it."

"Maybe some other time," she said. She had wanted to sound conclusive, but her voice wavered. "I'm sorry."

Norma felt compelled to apologise. She might appear ballsy and nutty now, because she _had_ come a long way—but deep inside, for most of her life, she had been programmed to gauge people's reactions so she could tiptoe around them strategically. She knew Alex was not the kind of person who would be angry at her, but at the end of the day, he was still a person, and some things were hard to change. She knew she had to be deprogrammed, and it would take more time than this.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," said Alex. "I want you to take your time."

Norma's heart softened. "Okay," she said. "I just hope you don't think that was weird. The way I lived. I know it wasn't normal, but—"

"But shit happens."

She paused. "Yes. But I don't want you to think any differently of me because of this," she carried on. "Because people do, Alex... and... and then they disappear." Her voice trailed off, and neither of them spoke for a while. She wondered if he was going to tell her to leave, or if he was formulating some escape plan in his head which kept him mute.

It was neither.

Alex was simply realising how she had managed to bounce back from all that had happened in less than a month. He had been wondering for a while, and it had now just struck him: that she was used to it. She was so used to trauma that over time, she had become desensitised, and gained superhuman powers of healing. If she seemed unbothered now, it was only because it had used to bother her torturously, until she turned off the switch and thrown out the part of her brain that computed distress.

He felt terrible, and knew more than ever that she needed time before she was ready to talk about her childhood. He couldn't imagine what she had been running away from, but he knew it must have left scars.

"I won't," he said finally. "I'll never leave you. It's a lot to process, _yes_ , but if anything, I'm glad you're telling me about it." He let out an exhale. "It must've driven you crazy, keeping all of that pent up inside for years."

She felt a smile creep up on her face at his acceptance. "I can't say I'm not," she said quietly. "I guess I have my mood swings."

"I love them," he said, resting his cheek on the top of her head. "They give you character."

"You do _not_! You should see the way you act when I throw a fit. You go all... _antsy_. It's funny." She looked up at him, causing him to readjust. Her eyes darted to his lips for a quick second, before she looked up again into his eyes. And then she smiled knowingly, as if she was in on some inside joke that she shared with everybody but him.

"Okay, maybe I don't love them, but they're not _that_ bad—"

"Mhm. Sure they aren't."

"I suppose I _tolerate_ them—"

"Careful with your words," she reminded him, and he let out a smile in defeat. She basked in it for a moment, and then his smile faded and so did hers, driven away in a panic.

"Listen," said Alex, inching in closer towards her. He was suddenly serious, and she braced herself for what might happen. "I know it's hard, and I'll never make you do anything you're not ready for. I just want you to know that you can be honest with how you feel." He picked up her hand, slowly interweaving his fingers through hers, and she let him. "Always."

"Okay," she said, surprised at his bluntness, but embracing it nonetheless. "And it goes both ways," she said, and he nodded.

"So no more pretending," he added. "Especially not for my sake. You never have to... to spare me from anything. From you. I'm telling you now, that however awful you think something about you is, I don't want to be spared from hearing about it."

She knit her brows together, looking wistful. "If that's what you want. I mean, are you sure?"

"It is. Do you promise?" It sounded juvenile, but he knew he had to hear her say it before his mind could rest easy.

Knowing he had her best interests at heart, it didn't take any convincing for her to say yes. "Okay. I promise."

Norma suddenly laughed, and it was a genuine laugh that rose from deep within her heart that had found its way up her throat and bubbled to the surface. Alex, not quite understanding, smiled at her anyway. He thought she looked so beautiful in the half-light that hit her from the side, and it was all he could do to stop himself from kissing her. He knew she would always have her careening moods and temperamental nature, like how she had just flicked a switch and began to laugh, and that was what he loved best about her.

"What?" he asked, feeling amused.

There was a glint in her eye. "Honestly?"

"Yes, honestly," he said slowly. "Come on. What is it? Tell me."

"Well, apart from the fact that about this time eighteen days ago, someone was pointing a gun at me, and you had a hole in your face..."

"I did _not_ —"

"—and you were bleeding profusely, blood soaking through your shirt—"

"—to be fair, not all of it was mine."

Norma looked at him in disbelief.

"You were in a _state_ , let's call it that," she said and paused. "Well, now we're sitting here telling each other our secrets." A mischievous smile shot through her, and she almost leapt from the couch when she next spoke. " _And you said you'd never do that with me!_ Didn't you? Remember when you said that?"

Alex laughed. It was true. He _did_ say that, and he couldn't believe she had remembered it. He didn't know how he could ever have said it, but he supposed it was a different time then. It _felt_ like a different time. Now he was so absolutely smitten, not having her in his life was unthinkable.

He pulled away from her slightly only to study her, and she didn't resist. He observed the way she was sitting there, and he could see the way her leg curled up under the blanket. She was half leaning on one arm, and the other half leaning on him. She had that silly look on her face as if she was somewhat lucid, and he thought she looked luminous.

Norma blinked at him as though to see if he was still present. He must have looked entranced, but her gaze only drew him in deeper.

Her bright eyes seemed to contain an incredible, separate world that stemmed from her brilliant, brilliant mind... and he thought about all the little fascinating bits of her that made her whole and human. All the stretchy vowels from the way she spoke, to the tip of her toes. Everything blended together in a thick, heavenly haze that filled the room and surrounded them both.

Then she was looking at him that way, and he couldn't stop himself from holding her again, driven by a desperate need to feel her warm, rosy cheek against his. She melted into him, and they leaned back onto the couch without a second thought.

For a split second, Alex remembered what Norma had gone through, and he stopped in his tracks. He wanted to know she was okay with doing this, and that it was okay for him if she wasn't. The last thing he wanted was for her to be uncomfortable, and he nearly stopped her when she lay on him, but she shushed him with a nod and a kiss, and he knew she had given him the green light.

Alex led Norma down the hall to his bedroom, and she could not stop kissing him the entire time. He thought his knees might buckle and he was worried he would fall over, but they made it and she was sprawled out onto his mattress the same way she had done that night. Only everything seemed different— _better_.

"Come here and kiss me, you idiot," said Norma, a smile playing on her lips. He stood there, admiring her, and she pulled a funny face. "I said, come here and—"

"Don't need to be asked twice," responded Alex, and he clambered onto the bed next to her. She began to unbutton his shirt, and took it off in a hurry, not caring about anything but him. She put a hand on his abdomen when she leaned in to kiss him, and he undid the zipper on the back of her dress carefully, pulling her closer still. He felt as though he was short of breath in the best way. Any second now, he thought he might start seeing stars.

" _I'm so glad we're doing this_ —" he said in between kisses, and she smiled through one corner of her lips.

" _Me too_."

Alex fell backwards onto his bed and Norma hovered over him. She pulled her dress over her head in one swift motion, and she was about dive into his neck when he suddenly flinched. She leaned into him and he drew back quickly, turning sideways.

"My rib," he winced involuntarily. He hated that his body still felt funny sporadically, and it had to be now, of all times. _That_ was inconvenient.

"I'm sorry," she said. She sounded concerned, and she was frowning slightly. "How are we going to do this when you're all banged up?" She suddenly let out a giggle. "Maybe I should _not_ —" she mumbled, feigning patronisation.

"No, no, kitten. I really am okay—" he mumbled gruffly, pulling himself up to kiss her. She drew back mischievously.

"But I don't want you to get hurt..." she said coyly. "What about your day tomorrow?"

He felt the corners of his mouth turn upwards. He wasn't sure what kind of game she was playing, but he was happy to nod along. "What about it?"

"Big day for a big guy," she said, "and my, are _you_ a big guy."

He looked at her in slight disbelief. He didn't know she had that in her, but he was not complaining.

"You need to heal _,_ " she ordered, and he leaned back down onto the mattress.

"I was hoping you can help me with that."

"I think I can."

"So. Will you?"

"If you _insist_ —" She bent down towards him again and unbuckled his belt slowly. She pulled it out of his belt loop and let it fall onto the floor.

"—and I do."

"I thought so."

"Maybe be gentle."

"Done and done," she mumbled coquettishly, and all words ceased.

* * *

 **AN: I clearly love emotional mush more than physical mush. And there's one more tiny chapter, which is just an epilogue. _And_ I vanished off the face of this planet. Again! But with good reason: I wrote my course essay, an article, and read six books. (I know we all lead busy lives; I just think the way I had just dropped off was terrible and I should at least explain myself.) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. You'll be rid of me and my tardiness so soon, I promise.**


	18. Epilogue

**Four months later**

The photocopier whirred to life, and the clanking of heels against polished floorboards pressed on urgently as though aligned in a rhythm.

New York City had a different air to it. Of course, people moved much faster, because time was money, and money was... well, it was everything. But speed had never been an issue for Rebecca. She was a woman of efficiency, and she fit right into the bustling crowds who always seemed to have somewhere else to be. So she hadn't really _wanted_ to move to the East Coast. But it was never about what one wanted; just one needed.

Too much had happened that night four months ago. She was not sure what was going through her head then, but she had pushed most of it to the back of her mind because she would rather not remember. She had managed to give Roger a call that night because she felt as though she owed him, somehow. Then, before she knew it, she hung up and packed her life in two suitcases, and then booked an air ticket that would take her straight across the country.

To her pleasant surprise, she discovered that leaving was the hardest part.

After Rebecca got off the plane, she found it impossible to look back.

She lived in a hostel for a couple of nights while she looked for apartments, but that was no difficult feat because she had money to spare. She knew she was not about to live as extravagantly as she did back in White Pine Bay, but she didn't mind. A comfortable studio apartment caught her eye. It was a bit snug, but she had never felt freer. She happily moved in a week later.

Maybe it was ironic that she found a job working in a bank in the end. She did not have an impressive resume, but knew the in-and-outs of finance well enough to get hired. She was going to work her way up the right way. Some memories were hard to forget, but she made do, and tucked them away like folded laundry into a drawer. What was the point of dwelling anyway? This was about creating a new life, a chance to start over.

Rebecca heard someone knocking on the glass door of the photocopier room and turned around.

It was Joel, a handsome bloke who sat three cubicles from her. He had a boyish demeanour and a spring in his gait, and he had rolled the sleeves of his dress-shirt halfway up his arms. He opened the door and stuck his head in. He had on his face a somewhat bashful smile, as if he couldn't quite decide what he had popped in for.

"Hi," said Rebecca innocuously. "You're happy," she pointed out.

"Hi! Yeah," he said. His eyes searched the room. "What are you up to?"

"Just photocopying accounts for the meeting later."

The mechanical whistling of the photocopier stopped, and she went back to work, collating the sheets nimbly.

"And after that?"

She turned around and gave him a funny smile. "Why, the meeting."

"Oh, right," he said. His voice wavered, and he cleared his throat. "Sorry. Of course. I mean, I was just wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me after that. I, uh—I know a great place two blocks from here."

"Oh," she responded, surprised. "Oh. Sure."

"Yeah?" asked Joel.

"Yeah," she said. "I would like that."

She smiled. She knew it was just _lunch_ , but she had a good feeling about this.

* * *

The weather was warmer, and Norma was glad for it.

Spring was just arriving. It took its sweet time as usual, dilly-dallying around street corners like schoolboys. But the skies were azure, and there were carefree wisps of clouds hung overhead each day, which put Norma in a good mood. She had surrendered her apartment in the end; she just did not see a point of having her own place after a month at Alex's.

When he first asked him to move in with her, she didn't know what to say. Moving in with somebody was a big deal, even if it didn't seem like one in this day and age. People did it all the time; why shouldn't she, too?

But Norma had her hesitations because she knew cohabitation would lead to an intrusion of her alone time. Maybe she shouldn't see it like that; it was not like Alex would ever violate her privacy. And she liked him, she really did. She liked him a whole lot. But it was a delicate situation; she was worried too much of a good thing would spoil it.

Then Alex asked her again one quiet evening when they were sitting together on her torn-up couch, and she decided that she might as well give it a shot. If she didn't like it, he said, she could always move back. There was never any harm in trying.

And she was glad she had taken the leap. Initially, she was not used to how easy it was. She expected awkward pauses in the mornings, and she dreaded having to make small talk to fill up the space between them every moment of the day. But none of that manifested. Their silences were comfortable because the two of them were companionable. Of course they talked, and they enriched each other's lives with big stories and little anecdotes. But when they didn't feel like talking, they didn't have to.

Norma had never expected such smooth sailing. If somebody had gone back in time and told her about a love like this, she would have jumped at the chance and worked towards it much more fervently. But, she thought, maybe it was easy because Alex was the right person, and you couldn't rush that. That was the only explanation she had to offer herself, and it was one that satisfied her.

* * *

For a while now, Alex had been nervous about asking Norma to move to Portland with him.

He was going to be there more frequently because he had been reassigned on the team, yet he wanted to be with her.

"Besides," he had said one night, rather conclusively, whilst he slipped beneath the covers, "we don't really have too much of a life left in White Pine Bay."

In the dim light, Norma huddled up to him quietly and made a non-committal sound. She knew what he said was true.

It was difficult doing even the most mundane things in town, like grocery shopping. They were hounded by questions at every street corner, as though they were some sort of celebrity. Her old students sought her out incessantly by email and in real life, if only to ask if she was okay. She knew they had good intentions, but the thought of the forty unread emails in her inbox gave her a migraine.

A few weeks in, she started driving an extra forty minutes to do her weekly shop in the next town. She was sure those people knew about the case, too. As far as she knew, it was high profile and nationwide. But at least nobody recognised her.

"So?" asked Alex softly, wondering if she had drifted to sleep. She had not.

"I don't know," she said honestly.

"It's just that you _have_ been staying in a lot," he said. "And that's not you. You are a doer. You do things. You can't possibly be cooped up all day."

He wanted to ask her what she did while he was back at work. She hadn't managed to find a new job yet, and he supposed it was fine that she was taking time off for herself, but he was worried she was starting to get bored and restless.

"I know you have my best interests at heart," said Norma. "And I appreciate that. I promise we'll move soon." She kissed him on the cheek gently. "I promise."

"Okay," he said, smiling. "Whenever you're ready. Good night." He returned her kiss, this time on her lips.

"Good night," she mumbled. She leaned over to turn off the lamp by the bed, and then she drew the duvet close to her chin and put her head against his chest.

Norma realised it was selfish of her to keep them both firmly rooted. Alex had a job to go to, and it was not a short drive, either. Yet he always made an effort to be back by dinner. With any other partner, she would have felt smug knowing she had the upper hand in the relationship. But with him, it just gnawed at her. It hurt her heart knowing he was tiring himself out for her. She wanted the best for him too.

Yet she felt a strange affinity with the seaside town, because it was where she had first experienced real love, and then had her feelings reciprocated.

She knew that they could not possibly live like this forever. That _she_ could not, that it was childish to insist on being closed off from the rest of the world in her own version of Eden. Of course she knew all of that. She just wanted this serenity to last a bit longer.

* * *

"What's that sound?" asked Alex, looking up from the hardcover he held on his lap. He finally had the odd off day, and he thought there was nothing better than settling down on the couch with a good book. Across him, perched on the armchair, Norma looked up from her knitting and shrugged.

"Don't know. Maybe the mailman."

"He always just throws the mail out on the porch," he grumbled. "Then stuff gets all crumpled. You'd think he'd know what that slit on my front door is for."

Norma gave him an understanding smile. "Apparently not," she said. She set aside her knitting needles and got up, slipping into her shoes hastily. "I'll go get it."

"No, you don't have to," he said quickly. "I didn't mean—hey, it's not urgent."

"I think I will anyway," she responded, and there was no resentment in her voice. She walked over towards him to give him a kiss, and then gave him two quick pats on the shoulder. "You just sit tight."

The waft of her perfume hit him as she breezed past. "Thank you, kitten."

Norma tugged open the front door, and sure enough, there was three envelopes resting by her feet. She could see one of them was creased, and she made a mental note to speak to the mailman sometime. It was not that it irked her. Very few things had irked her ever since she started living with Alex. She was always in a better mood than the day before, and she didn't know how that was possible, but she was taking it as it came. So it was not that it irked her, but she felt a sense of responsibility to make sure everything was in order.

She closed the door and sifted through them mindlessly. There were two bills addressed to Alex, and then a perfectly pristine white envelope to herself. She thought it was peculiar, because she hardly received anything in the post. Not when she was living here anyway, because it was technically Alex's house. She turned it over to see if the sender had left a return address, but there was nothing.

She tore open the envelope to retrieve a letter that had been folded lengthwise, her curiosity growing by the minute. It read:

 _Dear Norma,_

 _I hope you two are well. I hope you won't be startled upon receiving this letter, because it's been a while. I'm writing to you from Utah, where I have been living by myself for a few years now. I don't have a family. There was someone, but it didn't work out. (Long story.)_

 _It took a lot of work to track you down! I don't mean to seek you out like this, and I don't intend to ever drop by, because I know you don't want to see me. I just hope this reaches you, because I feel it's time we start patching things up. Whoever you're living with... this Alex—I hope he's nice to you both. (How tall is he now? Is his eyes still as blue as yours? I wonder.) You don't have to write me back..._

Norma knew who it was from. She just had to make sure. Her eyes darted towards the bottom of the page, and sure enough, signed off was Caleb in scraggly handwriting. She felt a flash of fear shoot through her veins. She stood in the hallway, paralysed for a moment, before a wave of severe discomfort hit her. She didn't bother reading the rest of the letter. She didn't want to.

She knew something like this would happen. That Caleb would, sooner or later, track her down. She just didn't think it would happen so soon, or that he would actually manage to find her. Now he knew where she lived—and even though he had just said that he would never pay her a visit in person—she didn't think she could take his word for it.

She heard Alex's voice call out through the house.

"Norma? You okay?"

"Yeah!" she yelled back. "It was the mailman after all. I've got—I have your bills."

"Forget about them! Come on back. I miss you."

Norma knew she couldn't walk back into the living room with Caleb's letter, so she crept into the kitchen first and ripped it into shreds. Then she tossed it into the bin, and she could only watch in fear and satisfaction as the lid slammed shut. Her stomach was churning, and she felt a little nauseous. She put Alex's bills on the counter where they were usually kept and then joined him on the couch. She pulled a tired smile when he looked at her, but she couldn't fool him.

"What's wrong?" he asked almost immediately.

"Nothing," she said. "Why?"

"You look a bit pale," he pointed out. "And perplexed."

"Having to pay the bills makes my head hurt." She shrugged and laughed quietly as she massaged his thigh subconsciously.

Alex grinned sideways, setting his book beside his reading glasses to steady her hand. He held it gently. "Aw, no. I'll take care of it."

"Okay," she said.

Then Norma knitted her brows together and pursed her lips as though she had something she wanted to tell him. Alex knew that look. It always took her a while to say what she really wanted to say, and he waited because it was always worth the wait.

"Listen," she said, blinking at him as though she was demanding his full attention. "You know, I was just thinking—and I realised you're right."

"Right about what?"

"We _should_ move to Portland," she said, speeding up a little. "It makes sense so much sense. Here, everything is stagnant. And with your job, I figured... I don't want you to have to wake up early just to drive in every day—"

"I don't mind it," he said, but she shook her head.

"It's not fair to you. Which is why we should definitely move to Portland."

Alex felt cheered, and an appreciative smile broke through. He sat up a little straighter on the couch and held her hand tighter in gratitude.

"Really?"

"Well, yes. It's only logical," she added. She beamed childishly. "What do you say? Should we start packing?"

He gave her a funny glance. "You don't mean— _right now?_ "

"Yes. _Right now_ ," she echoed. She shifted and slid off the couch, grabbing his hand in hers, pulling him along. "Come on! Get up. Let's get packing. _It'll be fun, you'll see._ "

"Alright," he responded, amused that she was in such a mood. He heaved himself up from the sofa, still holding her hand. "Where should we start?"

She gestured at everything in the living room.

"Right here."

* * *

 **AN: For some reason, the idea of Alex calling Norma 'kitten' makes me blush. I don't know why. I wanted him to say 'sweetheart' or 'darling', but I couldn't quite hear it. 'Kitten' is something that's just flirtatious enough for him to use ironically. Then gradually, it slips into his vocabulary. Also, Norma lives up to the nickname; she's exuberant, independent, and not afraid to claw someone's eyes out should the occasion call for it.**

 **Anyway... this is the end! I've never written such a long fic before, and I'm really happy it's worked out. Thank you for your wonderfully kind reviews**. **Can't believe we hit 100! Bonkers. For those who wanted more, I would very much love to write a sequel in the future, which was why I ended this the way I did. So—yeah. This was so nice, thank you! Until next time!**


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